Boards

Congratulations, you have been allowed into the stripclub! Now, do you pay £200 for a private dance?

If YES, turn to page 45

If NO, turn to page 132

I say, 'Turn around and run away' and turn to page 17.

- playout various scenarios, consider which is most likely
- realise you've been doing this for 10 mins and the opportunity has long past

Then wait in a secluded doorway to chuck it over them

approaching people in the street is fucking weird

Never look back - got to play it cool.

until you are well away from them.

Go home and search facebook for someone that you've just made up, drink, go onto one of your mates friends lists and add all the females on there despite not knowing them, message a few of them asking "how's it going?", lose your nerve when one replies and delete your facebook.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=_o3Pgrlj0yM#t=43s

Especially on public transport.

It can be a real shame, but still. Having men approach you is a bit creepy. Well the ones I seem to attract are.

would be appropriate.

Leading me to ponder and systematically dismiss a series of increasingly ridiculous possibilities, ranging from news of a poison gas attack to alien invasion.

Secondly, I would wonder if the attrative, who in similar attire and location to myself, is attending the same social function. Perhaps I am walking the wrong direction? Or perhaps they? I DON'T KNOW OK.

Would you like to make eye contact very briefly with this person? Maybe a sly little half-smile too? Think maybe you would look again and their eyes would still be meeting yours, but more intensely this time? Both your and their mouths and eyes would involuntarily widen. Would you like to imagine you would keep walking past each other and then maybe turn your head, to see they are doing the same? Would this not make you feel so overwhelmingly good about yourself and the world, and you would go on to have a fantastic evening, full of self-confidence and happiness that the world is a beautiful place?

So, going back to the start,with you feeling and looking good and relaxed, would you attempt to initiate eye contact with the attrative?

Then call in sick to work on Monday because I'm tired and aching from doing it all weekend with her obviously.

And walk pay very quickly.

Very upsetting

"attrative lady she is"

oggle and have a wank

turn around and look at her arse.

How is that even remotely funny? Of all the typos that's the shittest one I've ever seen

Give them a really good long hard look up and down, and crane my neck to get an eyeful of the back when we pass.