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Who the hells folds their shit smeared toilet paper?
the other day i was passing my friend a tenner that i owed him. he was on the other side of the room so i screwed it up into a ball so that i could throw it to him and then he wouldn't accept it!!!
can't argue with that
He's right to be annoyed. Especially if it's a tenner you owed him - you've basically just took a tenner from his wallet and scrunched it up in his face, which seems to be disrespectful behaviour.
he won't be going to the self service for ages
What is this, Planet of the Apes?
my Assistant in the Privy which method he favours. I leave the details to him
it specifically asks which you prefer!?
Cause I'll roughly fold pre-wipe, usually 3 sheets, folded into a 1.5 sheet rectangle, then place my thumb and middle finger about 4cm apart on the paper and pinch slightly, just so there's a little 'shovel' type area opening up, then ill slide the paper into position, placing my thumb at the upper end of the buttsmear and my finger at the lower end, and, in a pinching motion, bring my finger to my thumb. I then immediately bring the paper up for visual (and sometimes nasal) inspection, before dropping it back into the bowl. NO FOLDING OR SCRUNCHING REQUIRED at this stage.
it made me snicker at my desk like a little boy
i am 27 years old this year
you use pre-shit-smeared paper to wipe your arse?
do you ever have it where you've scrunched say three sheets but because the scrunch lacks the regularity of the fold your finger goes where their is no paper and into your poo-lined bumcrack?
I like living dangerously
seriously, fuck this advert so, so much
too many spicy peanuts
sitting on the shitter and seeing "scrunch or fold, vote on our website" for the first time was a REALLY weird moment.
Usually get 3-4 sheets (you need that insurance and peace of mind) and fold widthways (or is it lengthways). Lean forward slightly and use my right hand to go for a smooth but comprehensive upwards wiping motion. Occasionally, if I'm feeling confident, I'll then slightly re-angle the initial wipe to get some more coverage on the loo paper and to minimise loo paper to avoid the need for a second flush. Normally then I'll repeat until done, spitting on the loo roll before a final wipe just to ensure there's no remaining winners and for that uber-fresh vibe. Then flush, or if it's a lazy Saturday morning, continue with the Guardian Crosswords app on my phone for a bit.