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got this one from THE SUN
hwo do you measure up ladies?
Wow. There are no words.
or PR executive
or PR executive
Cheers, that'll be all.
WHAT. A. CATCH.
she has to be beholden and subservient to you
that my salary divided by my date's is the base she should let me get to on our first date.
That's interpersonal relationships SATS level
but it's number 7 so im sorted.
I'm doubly attracted to you now.
Blue Eyes - nobody actually cares about eye colour do they? anyway green's better than blue
Long Blonde Hair - don't care
Occasionally wears glasses - yeah sure glasses are good
5 foot 8 - don't care about height
Weighs around 9.5 stone - meaningless
A size 12 - so this is basically no fatties? what a shock
Good in bed - surely goes without saying
Earns less than £25, 000 a year - YOU SEXIST BASTARDS
extremely fit - EXTREMELY ? fuck that
Very good looking - sure
Likes Sport - no
Wacky Personality - WACKY? fuck that. Quirky maybe, but wacky is a step too far
Rents a house or flat - who cares?
Optimistic - quite like cynical people as well though
Owns a Ford Ka or Mazda MX5 - fuck right off. I don't care about cars at all (don't know what an MX5 is) (though I'm not sure who's dream car for a woman is a KA? some SEXIST BASTARD no doubt)
Nurse or PR executive - PR? nah. nurse? maybe
No children - yeah ok
Drinks occasionally - yes
Loves clubbing - no - likes clubbing very occasionally
Non-Smoker - quite like a smoker actually, though it really doesn't matter
A lad at uni drives one, we used to give him no end of stick about it.
Because i am short, like.
Stupid meaningless list, much like the male one. Also, green eyes >>>> blue eyes.
I do like sport, am childless and sometimes wear glasses, and i have long blonde hair. I am otherwise fucked.
it might as well end
HUH LINDSEY SEE I DON'T NEED YOU? INDECISIVE AM I? WELL LOOK WHO KNOWS JUST WHAT HE WANTS NOW
Or 4, I can't really say whether I'm good in bed or not.
Form an orderly queue, chaps.
is the queue related to the sentence before it?
I wasn't inviting dis lads to give me a go.
I was making about rating so low in the ideal woman attributes.
surely someone 5'8 and 9.5 stones will have to have a specific dress size
I'm 5'6 and weigh about 11 stone and I'm still comfortably a size 12.
My girlfriend's sister is a dancer. She's 5'7", weighs 9 stone and she's like a rake.
Not sure that extra inch and half a stone would make that much of a difference.
this is bullshit
my whole life plan is to marry into wealth
long blonde hair
occasionally wears glasses
very good looking
Only better at sex.
Blue eyes- yep
blonde hair,- luscious dark brown hair
glasses- perfect eyesight thanks
5'8 - no way. lies, i'd have more boys if this was the case
9.5 stone -about that, that is too much though
size 12- hmm
good in bed- yes probably, i am earnest enough
underearner - score
extremely fit - leave now shall i
very good looking- yes
likes sport- i will pretend to like it in a convincing manner
wacky personality- whaat
rents a house or flat- are ye joking
owns a ford ka- my sister had one of these
nurse or pr -loll
no children- affirmative
drinks occasionally- affirmative
loves clubbing- not sure the typical clubber girl is actually these things, or attractive
non smoker- affirmative