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shouldn't need to explain this in too much detail?
One win in the last 20+ matches
Followed by SHIT! MAN ON! MAN ON!
HAVE A DIG BOYS THEIR KEEPER LOOKS WANK
WE'VE KICKING DOWN THIS HALF SO WE'VE GOT A CHANCE
HERE IF YOU NEED when the ball's safely in the opposition half.
if it's within 30 yards of me ? OUT GET IT FUCKING OUT!
HOLD THE LINE
WHERE'S THE LINE
I'VE GOT TWO HERE
whenever anyone dribbles more than three yards
All that could be heard for the entire game was 'jeu' over and over
uber den Platz
im der mittel
Regardless of actual score.
An amusing tale from my days as a referee... some Ryman league game, I totally engaged mouth before brain. A player who'd been pissing me off all afternoon yelled OH COME ON REF at me from a fair distance. My reply: "don't you come on me from twenty yards." Heh.
never heard that one
are you sure its about football
when a player is a little isolated on the ball and needs support?
HELP HIM OUT here in the hotbed of soccer
Seems relatively common in games in Reading
meaning - show you're available to receive the ball.
I also like
STAY GOALSIDE STAY GOALSIDE STAY GOALSIDE FOR FUCKS SAKE I SAID STAY GOALSIDE
Immediately receives ball and is clattered.
even if youre not
Winners = someone other than me please challenge for that header
Second ball = someone other than me please challenge for the ball because the other guy didn't attempt to head it
Time = you've got time. Not much though.
Turn = turn around.
Bring it = don't just hoof it but dribble for a bit.
Line it = kick it aimlessly up the line
Give and go = give me the ball and get out of my sight
No foul = don't foul him
Stand up = don't foul him
Simple = you're not Ronaldinho. Pass it to me so I can be Ronaldinho.
Have a dig = whack it in the direction of the goal
All day = their player has had a dig and it went wide.
It's nil nil lads = we've just scored a lucky goal
Touch = good touch
Touch = bad touch
On your shoulder = there's a player running behind you
Please pass me the ball so I can kick it into touch five yards ahead of you
as in that was a good one
Be ready to move when the free kick's taken, don't just let the man you're marking move into space and get a free shot to scuff home from 5 yards out.
I think we're about to clear a corner about 10 yards further up the pitch, now fuck off away from my goal.
Step = step up to catch them offside
Get out = move the defensive line up after a corner has been cleared
There's no talking = I'm the only one talking
Put a name on it = say your name when challenging for a header
Blue ball = someone on my side please challenge for that header because I'm not going to
granted I think I said every other thing on this thread in that game too
If you're spare, why not help close someone down/cut off their options?
these sorts of players dont/cant take people on. so you just stand your ground, no need to make a wild tackle. 2 players coming in and making wild tackles takes 2 players of out the game.
but if you're spare and someone on your team is 'standing up to' the player on the ball, no harm in getting in there and hassling them a bit. It's very effective if done right.
Basically, you and marckee need to shut up.
you dont need 2 people to do one thing.
One person stands up, the other cuts off the turn/pass and forces him backwards or makes him panic. Lovely stuff. Teamwork. Shut up meths.
you have to remember you are not a professional footballer. do simple things and do them well. one man marks, stands up, attacker goes nowhere, defence gets back.
2 men =
two wild challenges leaving attacker past both of them without doing anything, so someone else has to go to him. it effectively takes an extra 2 players out of the defence.
No-one makes tackles in DiS anyway.
have you ever seen sunday football?
If it's me then I'll panic and smack it out or into an opposition player's shins without the extra man involved.
Expert = obese 30-something bloke who has never/will never understand the first thing about football
always with a west midlands accent. do Sky hire someone to do it?
are technically against the rules and you can concede an indirect free kick for them.
Play to the fucking whistle
appropriate from any area on the pitch
Usually ordered from the captain in the threat of a particularly good skillful opposition player
receives ball and loses it with Shola-esque first touch
As in, pass it to me, I'm here and unmarked, instead of that 70 yard cross-field raking pass you're about to try but totally fuck up and smash in to those trees over there.
give me an easy ball so i can do that instead.
not really funny, but the other day someone shouted that on my team and we got a free kick given against us, apparently it's against the rules now??
I nearly posted a tale about this. There's nothing wrong with it at all, as long as you don't deliberately deceive an opponent shouting it.
not often enforced though really.
LEAVE IT is the universal call for 'i'm about to take your goal scoring opportunity and smash it halfway to the moon'
hears it (plus "mine," "yours," etc) he could be forgiven for leaving it, thinking a team mate has it.
obstruction hasn't existed for years
Usually used as encouragement to a teammate to violently tackle a particularly skilfull opponent who's just skinned you.
1. Please get in the way of that man and the goal
2. Please don't take another shot Ormsby
(their centre back can't head a ball to save his life so run behind him because he'll probably miss it)
HE DOESN'T WANT IT
used as a reminder to people that when marking it's useful to stand between the opposition and your goal.
(strikers stand in between defenders when a goalie is about to take a kick)
almost word for fucking word
still - generate your own content, or sutin
same bloke wrote it.
I've seen (shitter) versions of that (shit) article before as well.
As in concentration levels, is a favourite of mine.
don't think i've ever seen someone 'skinned' in sunday league football, actually makes me more confident of winning the ball if someone shouts that, just means the guys going to try and knock it and run cos he's their 'quick' winger
(I wasn't very good at getting involved)
was instructed to 'tuck in' by the manager.
So, I shit you not, he stopped running and tucked his shirt in.
Fucking christ boys
How are people that bad at football?
(In praise of getting to an inaccurate, hopeful long ball towards the opposition striker before him and hoofing it agriculturally out for a throw-in)