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Post them here for some sort of confessional relief.
You've clearly got something you want to say
I have a few.
person 1: I will never move in with you as any boy I bring home will never come back after the guaranteed 3rd degree they will get from you.
You are lovely regardless, but yes I'm not going to do it.
Also, we do not need to plan things months in advance, live for the moment a little.
Housemates: I cannot wait till I never have to hear your phone calls again.
Person 3: I wish I could forget you, but I will never be able to trust you.
and was slightly perturbed
what are you up to now
can't believe you'll never move in with me.
i'm probably still in it.
I'm moving house in 20 days time and am extremely excited but can't really say until it happens I guess. Not to jinx it. Am totally in love with the new place
dublin-wards or are you out in the sticks?
Yeah dublin still, been in dublin again since Sept
(you too dan)
Person 4: that really wasn't on but I forgive you, don't think you're ever doing that again though.
Nobody sneaks anything by me
mum: I'm on the pill now and this is why I'm acting different. Also, I used to sneak out and see people from the internet. Part of the reason I do most things is cos I want to shag, and continue shagging that particular boy you don't like. If i do that I don't care about anything else. <Think she suspects a tiny bit of this but isn't too fussed>
Person 2: LEARN SOME PEOPLE SKILLS.
Person 3: I'm really not sure if I fancy you, so could you please tell me either way so I can move on with the issue, whichever direction it may be.
I've wanked over your photo a few times
It looks like it's all to me D:
(dunno why that last one is so taboo tbh; you've chosen it, I don't have to like it). Anything else, go for it.
but that's a no-brainer.
I'm not going to hold back in telling someone they've spelled their kids name wrong
but I can't tell people that or they wouldn't be nice to me
And she's one of my best friends so she'll kill me if I say anything.
You utter, total, absolute, definitive CUNT.
this is awkward.
the joke was that it was chris-budget which, of course, it's not. that would be absurdly passive aggressive.
it's no one on the boards, although now you've irked me a touch so I guess I can say that here?
that you were talking about someone on the boards, hence my confusion. I wasn't having a dig, as such.
Not because Im drunk
I just made it up
but thats not really a horrible truth
stop biting my posts and cramping my style and go and add up some reciepts.
I am going to be all over you like angry bees over Abe with your correct spelling privilege.
dunno why i'm not saying this to her. I guess even in this hypothetical world of complete freedom of speech i'm still a complete pussy WHO KNEW
Don't call your dad, "daddy", you are 30 years old and middle class at best.
Don't call men, boys, and don't call women, girls.
Don't say "love you" quickly, in that insincere voice, on the phone, in public, quite loudly.. I pisses me off.
workmates: if I left all of a sudden, I wouldn't fight the inexorable drift away and untangling of our lives.
you are shit and I hate you.
When I have nothing to say, my lips are sealed.
people actually are using it
therel be some hurt feelings tomorrow guys
nicked my copy of Strictly 4 My NIGGAZ in '97 and has never owned up to it.
Always thought that was a bit sly of him, but i don't say owt now.
A massive, lazy, self-pitying, self-obsessed drag. You have talents but I know now you'll never make the most of them, ever, no matter what kind of effort I make, because you'll never clamber out of the cozy litte hole you've dug yourself. That's why I didn't invite you to come with us this summer. You could be an interesting person but you're not and frankly the more time goes by the more I am embarrassed being around you. I wish there was an easy way to tell you these things, and I wish I could stop feeling sorry for you.
I try so hard to be the most decent I can be, I come in with the best of intentions and do my best to make sure everything goes as well it can do, but no matter what I do, it always feels like your only intention is to make my life a misery.
should i buy this?
yeah you should
awesome. i will.
and one 'you're having some sort of mid-20s crisis and shouldn't go out clubbing on your own holding a bag of hovis, you should accept that you're an adult or something'
you're the last person I would listen to for advice on how to eat healthy and how much I should/shouldn't drink. Whatever you say, you're living proof that it doesn't work.
I wasn't entering this in my facebook status window.
also don't lecture me on family values you righteous professional fuckup
gonna put some papa roach on now
You're completely justified in feeling depressed & pessimistic about your life and your prospects. Don't listen to well-meaning friends who try to tell you that you have the power to change, that things will turn out for the best, that "everything happens for a reason" etc. It's bullshit. You're suffering the effects of a series of bad choices and bad luck, and there's no way out of the hole you've dug yourself. You're too old, and you don't have enough money. The best you can hope for is to dull the pain with drugs & alcohol - although of course this will probably have negative consequences for your health in the longer term. One way or the other, though, you have to accept it: some people just end up shitty & sad, and you've turned out to be one of them. You're fucked.
everyone else tries to convince me otherwise, but I know I'm fucked
But you believe every bullshit scare story going and you're just getting hysterical about it all.
...and all that gin, and all that wine...
but unfortunately I'm only willing to conduct our friendship via occasional pub chats and casual meals. You're just too neurotic & high maintenance for anything more than that. In particular, there's no way in the fucking world I will ever spend a week with you & your family at your ugly, oppressive, strangely uncomfortable (given how much money you've spent on it) holiday house. Plus, my missus can't stand your missus.
With increasing rental prices in city centres AND the huge rise in online fantasy gaming, I don't understand why they haven't gone under.
more than anything. I want to believe that time and certain events have made you grow up. But I just don't trust you and I don't think I ever will.
by the fact that at best, I find you only slightly hot, and maybe only 30% of the time. You're good-looking enough, I suppose, in a conventional sort of way. But you're just not my type, and I wish I'd fully realised this before we got together, instead of embarking on the relationship in the hopeful expectation that physical attraction would catch up with the way I feel about your mind & personality. It hasn't happened, and it's not going to.
I'm giving us six more months at the outside, and only that long because I'm too much of a coward to bail now.
Get OUTTA there. I think everyones donne it at some point, but jeez its no good for the soul
Oh have I been there.
And by the way, your breath is a bit whiffy at times, it's not nice, you told me to tell you if it was a bit whiffy because apparently it gets like that on your fasting days or something or other but how do you tell someone their breath is a bit whiffy without sounding like a breath facsist? You said you was a really sexual person so why always the missionary, what's wrong with the doggy? Yeah I know you can't see my face but hey. Oh, and that hat looks silly on your head. You may be a stylist but c'mon. The body issues, the need to buy pricey organic 'finest' stuff when you know I'm on a budget (join me, come to Aldi!), the texting to ask "what did you mean when you said...." about a conversation a few days beforehand.
Phew, glad I said that. There's loads more.....
I hope youre feeling like a weight has been lifted? That sounds like some hard work.
One of those new relationships that you want to work, which should just be naturally good, but turned out to be a bit of a struggle. Even her little smack of the lips type thing during talking made me grind my teeth....and texting with "LOL" or "LMAO", god I hate that! She unfriended me on FB within half an hour of our splitting up chat......she was the one to do the splitting. I wonder how long I would have carrying on kidding myself it was a good thing if she hadn't? Lame eh.
I'm fucking sick of you. Astonishingly needy and shouty from the second I get back from a hard day at work. Oh cool though: let's worry about you instead.
The violence when you're in a particularly bad mood is astonishing. You think that does anything other than make me think that you shouldn't be here? Oh and the other people in the house are starting to notice it too FYI. They've seen the tantrums. Oh yes.
And then you're all sweetness and light in the mornings as if nothing has happened. Well it has.
Why the hell do you hate and hurt me on a regular basis? I gave you a whole can of tuna last night as a treat and yet I wake up to find my iPod cable bitten in two. I'm taking you to woodgreen if it happens again, you bitch.
you butcher them.
Aren't you supposed to be a comedian?
It was a good gag you bastard!
The real ones are much harsher.
you'll be a fat, middle-aged parent with real-life stuff to worry about.
YOUR PARENTS GAVE YOU EVERYTHING AND YOU'VE NEVER HAD TO WORK DO FUCK OFF WITH YOUR OPINIONS MATE YOU'VE GOT JAM ON IT.
AND NOW WE'RE NOT GOOD MATES ANYMORE AND IT'S BECAUSE SHE'S A MANIPULATIVE NIGHTMARE
Loving the upper case
You are so stupid.
You don’t deserve skin.
You should be forced to walk around all skull-naked
You are so stupid
someone could sneak up behind you and
steam your flesh loose,
peel it off your bones,
make a paper plane from it
and then fly it into your stupid skinless face,
and you would still keep plodding on
like some idiot hippo on the way to buy milk.
I should shove you into a bush.
Leave your legs all akimboing in the foliage.
I should lick between your toes,
In board daylight.
You are a flat rugby ball.
You are a flat rugby ball, being kicked by a lame horse.
You rode a horse to work once,
It hated you so much it died in protest.
It just sat there and died.
and expect me to not react. that goes out to EVERYONE
some sad stuff in this thread
guntrip is a stupid username, why did you choose it?
I chose: 'Shirt Potato'
I really don't know what's wrong with me.
IS SUDDENLY BETTER THAN MINE. IT DOESN'T MEAN I'M SUDDENLY SOMEONE WHO CAN'T BEGIN TO FATHOM THE SPIRITUAL JOURNEY YOU'RE HAVING AND I;M JUST A SCUMBAG WHO DOESN'T HAVE CHILDREN YOU INSUFFERABLE CUNTS.
AND STOP POSTING PICTURES OF YOUR CHILDREN ON FACEBOOK. NO-ONE CARES. THEY ALL LOOK LIKE DRIBBLING MESSES.
It really calms you down.
this one might really be directed to me.
Endless photos on my kid on instagram - losing followers by the minute.
but it's not what I'm looking for...
You cant bottle some of this shit up.
just you watch!
(I dont really practise what i breach.)
WHO ARE YOU TO TELL ME What i can and can't go bottleing up
I'll always support you regardless, but you need to get a better job and get that house you were looking at, rather than just saying you're going to. You're too intelligent a guy to be stuck in the dead end situation you are in now.
Also stop dating underage girls. Cheers.
this is why you can't have nice things, TBO
AND A CUNT WHEN DRUNK, BUT AS YOU'RE DRUNK ALL THE TIME YOU'RE JUST A CUNT. FUCK OFF, I'M DONE BABY SITTING YOU, GO RUIN YOUR LIFE YOU HERMIT TWAT.
It's like group therapy. I actually feel better.