Might as well stick with what I'm best at.
Thinking of tonight's weather, let's start with a distinctly Scandinavian theme.
The Illing - The next hip-hop big thing's career is found murdered. But who dropped Frank Ocean from his label on the cusp of fame? Only John Jensen, Whigfield and Soreen from Aqua can find out!
Wall An 'Er - The egg-scelent adventures of a children's entertainer/Humpty Dumpty impersonator who investigates the brutal murders of women who every time happen to be someone he's romantically linked with. With tragic consequences.
The Ridge - The Leicestershire/Northamptonshire border is thrown into crisp-based horror after the discovery of a half-Gary Lineker, half-Mr Pringle Corpse. With tragic consequences.
Bogen - A Pauline Hanson-esque far-right type somehow becomes Australian PM and the country is thrown into CHAOS! With tragic consequences for non-whites who don't own at least three albums by Jet.