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Prove me wrong!
I hope you are well. It has been an eventful year in the Ingram-Hogg household, but we are now more-or-less recovered from the Great Fire of the Billiards Room (back in August, though goodness knows it feels like longer ago) and have even been able to use the opportunity to commence building a new veranda for Great Aunt Agatha to take her airs in the morning. Fuck knows why she wants to take them anywhere, but don't ask me. Little Roger has started school and already looks set to get straight A*s in 12 years' time, and Middle Roger is out of hospital again. Big Roger remains dead.
Anyway, I hope you are enjoying the festive season, we'll have to have you over one of these years once we've completely forgotten why we stopped actually seeing each other and only communicating through impersonal annual letters.
Yours, etc etc.
Sincerest apologies. Should our great postal service be doing the task we subsidise them no small fortune to do, you will have received a brief note from me dated some 8 days ago. I would ask you to kindly ignore this, as it has come to my attention that I don't know you and we have never met.
The plot thickens!
I know what you did and i are telling the police
and as I was occupying that part of the street at that particular moment, perfectly legally might I add, I saw no reason not to open them. There was a photo of an ugly child in the first one wearing an unfeasibly clean and smart school uniform.
oh wait my uniform wasn't smart
looks really sad
^ no monocle
might be my all-time favourite tbf