Christmas day feels like a really claustrophobic Sunday. Horrible.
If you're an adult you can pretty much spend it how you want.
i got massively caned with two of my mates and it was brilliant.
Two years previous to that, when i was in a similar situation, i had a steak dinner, got really really stoned and watched 70's crime flicks.
Its just a day off basically, where you can do what you want.
And as for the family thing, you can just tell them you don't want to, and as an adult there's literally fuck all they can do to make you do otherwise.
That you'd rather spend the day on your own than with your family on one of the only days that's geared towards family
Nothing sad about it whatsoever. I personally quite enjoy spending Christmas with my family but can't really see any reason to judge or assume anything about people who don't want to for whatever reason.
It's a far sadder thing to feel trapped in a situation with said family on a day that's geared towards family. And that's what a lot of people plump for. Social obligation because of a religious holiday (for loads of religions, not just the christy one) that a great many people dont celebrate for religious reasons.
Xmas is at its heart about celebration, the celebration of the worst of winter having past, of rebirth and the opportunity for the new, however you want to do that is down to you, and this family thing is just more pressure for folk to have to deal with.
If you'd rather just spend it on your own, or just with your mates, or just with your bf/gf/missus/mister do that instead.
I'd much rather do what I, as an adult, choose to, than feel obliged to trundle to a bit of the country i left voluntarily many years ago, rarely return, to spend time with folk I don't feel much connection to, just because FAMILY and BECAUSE. That's weak, weakness of spirit, weakness of choice, just blindly going along with something because it's what folk supposedly have to do.
Nah, I'd have a shit time and have to sit with the rest of the family having a shit time, because all of us would much rather be elsewhere, with other people, doing other stuff.
If you like your family, if you like that bit of xmas, all power to you and i hope that the day is filled with cheer and merriment and dancing and singing. Mine's will be.
but I think the sense of obligation comes from not wanting to let other people down. I would feel awful snubbing my family to spend x-mas elsewhere even though I'd probably prefer to. At the end of the day I barely see my family all year cos of the minor stress inevitably involved but Christmas just feels like one appointment I can't skip - I'd feel a right cunt telling my folks I had other plans. I think that's why people end up begrudgingly going along with it - just to protect other peoples feelings,and that's fair enough.
you can see them any other day of the year if you wanted to.
xmas just makes it easy for folk to trundle along and see the relatives they cant be bothered making the effort to see the rest of the year.
its your own guilt at not having seen them the rest of the year which makes you feel like a cunt for bumping them at xmas to do something youd rather do.
if family relations are strained. People should try and make themselves happy rather than conform to social conventions, definitely.
But in a general sense, for a lot of people, christmas is the only time when all the family will be together, so for someone to actively not participate is a little sad to me.
What I'm basically saying is I find it sad that some people don't really get on with their families.
but just because you're related to someone doesn't mean you have to like them.
better to come to terms with that and deal with it than continue to pretend or compromise and wind up having ulcers or get depressed about having to spend time with folk you don't get on with in a situation you feel you have no control over.
my family is massively dysfunctional. other peoples families can make this work or at least work around it, other peoples families function together like actual human beings. thats not my experience though.
I remember on christmas day looking out the window sometimes and thinking wow the road and all the houses and chimneys don't look any different even though it's christmas day! And the clouds just look normal even though it's christmas day wow, mad
had been my favourite time of year up until this year, now I'm not looking forward to it at all, I actually feel kind of depressed about it
fall asleep in front of the telly
what's not to like?
People opening presents, be it ones you've received or ones you've given
People telling jokes
I suspect from that post that your definition of awkward is slightly off.
get a backbone.
as though you're hiding a present to give to your mum. You're stood next to the christmas tree and your mum gets up out of the chair and goes `merry christmas` with a look on her face that says `haha he's got me a present behind his back but I'll pretend I've not noticed` and you go `i got you this` and bring your hand around to the front to reveal a jerrycan full of petrol which you open and start viciously pouring down your throat and all over your face/floor
you'd probably expect her to clean that spilt petrol up after you as well. SELFISH CHILD.
due to the social pressure of it all.
just fuck it off and do what you fucking want.
you'll feel a hundred times better about it turning up every year and be a lot less likely to be a curmudgeonly cunt about it.
take this from someone who always got really bummed out and annoyed by xmas before realising, I DONT HAVE TO DO IT!
What a fucking relief that was.
Not really in the christmas spirit
and you've not really gone into any detail about what it is about the season thats bothering you, just given oblique references to committing para-suicide in front of your mum
which isnt very christmassy in itself.
I think that a far higher proportion of the thousands who get depressed at Christmas are affected less by the social pressure of having to spend it with people and more by the fact they have nobody to spend it with.
for folk who want to spend it with people and do fun stuff but dont have anyone to do it with.
and this isn't me being sarky. its xmas and you should have the opportunity to spend it how you will. if distance or some other reason stops you spending it with your family, you shouldn't feel excluded. thats just a shame.
yer actual depression, as a result of social pressure, is one thing. being really bummed out by it all is another. not gonna argue with anyone who wants to prioritise the former. but i reckon there are more who fit into the latter category. no need to play the two groups off against each other, though, and if the bummed out people are able to realise that it's relatively easy to resolve their issues by growing a spine then all well and good. not so easy for the depression thing to be resolved, obv - i'm not pulling a cat-race here.
i'll check his wiki page to make sure though.
where reproach and family ties didn't exist and JUST SACK IT OFF TO DO WHAT YOU WANT was a viable solution to all life's problems, like one of them commercials. Alas.
will harsh words be said in hushed tones in the kitchen. perhaps a glower or a disappointed lowering of eyes. what if they avoid eye contact with you or send you a passive aggressive email some weeks later. will your aunties tut at you next time you see them. too bad, let them tut all they want.
sacking things off which cause stress is ALWAYS an option, dont let anyone tell you otherwise. There is always another way to deal with any situation, and that is 'fuck this noise, im out of here'.
the thing is, once youve done it once, it gets significantly easier each time youre faced with a similar situation.
can you really be bothered vs will it be that bad.
if the answer is no and yes respectively, fuck it right off and offer no platitudes or excuses. if pressed to justify your choice, just tell them youre having a year off or have other plans and youll see them in the new year.
xmas is an easy time for all the family to get together as its likely the only time in the year everyone will have a day off and fuckall else to do. but its not the only day in the year you can see them.
the only thing really stopping you fucking this thing off is you.
so I sacked it off and went to New York City with a housemate. my mother was basically just jealous I was going away rather than anything to do with Christmas.
But it's not really an opt-out thing. And I'm not financially secure enough to be able to piss off my family.
I'm -really- looking forward to Christmas next year. Decided I'll ditch classes for a few days and go to somewhere in Hokkaido by myself. And just spend Christmas walking around and being able to go into shops and cafes and wherever because places are actually open. It's going to be awesome <3 <3 <3
Then cook everyone dinner
Guaranteed good mood from the entire family, lots of drinking etc. I much prefer Christmas Eve (night out with mates) & Boxing Day (football) though.
I used to really dislike Xmas but then I remembered how much fun getting pissed in the early afternoon was.
It helps that I've gotten back into jobs that don't need me working on Boxing Day too.
bit of a friday feeling throughout the whole month, generally positive feelings, the opportunity for a new year and a new start, kids fucking love it and that's infectious.
what i don't like about xmas:
the pressure in general to tick all the boxes that constitute what christmas is marketed as being - i'm veggie so turkey is out but i haven't had a nut roast for years, i enjoyed spending my childhood and youth christmases with my folks but that easily becomes claustrophobic when you're a grown adult, present buying became a real bugbear for me around five our six years ago cos let's face it everyone has too much stuff and the voracious levels of mindless consumption at xmas is the height of vulgarity.
sod travelling across the country as everyone else just because it's a particular day on the calendar. i feel a million times less stressed since putting a cap on the levels of present buying i need to do. if you're the kind of person who ever says »awww, you have to, IT'S CHRISTMAS« you're just creating grief for yourself and others.
one of my most christmassy moments toys year was buying some kids toys for a charity thing. cos there was no obligation. not like writing the cards to people and scribbling down platitudes. and there's a tree in a box in the corner of the room that i need to find the motivation for putting up. i'm inherently suspicious of things that are overly popular, and much of the »xmas wouldn't be xmas without it« stuff falls into that category.
Including Christmas and NYE. People always ask me 'why don't you go home for christmas?' but really, my two favourite christmasses were the last two without my family. 2010 I just got drunk, read a book and watched Peep Show. Last year I criss-crossed Poland by train and got wasted in the only open bar in Lublin. I miss that 'feeling' of Christmas you only receive if you're home with your parents, but I know I wouldn't like that, now.
getting gifts for people you care about is fun. and then on the day you swap thoughtful presents, have a few drinks, eat well and then have a nice sleep. it's really just a pleasant day.
I love Christmas Day but I know some people who find their families massively stressful to be around and where everyone inevitably ends up winding each other up until screaming matches ensue. That's probably not so pleasant.
fukken hate it. fuck christmas
the first couple of years of opting out will raise eyebrows, but stick to your principal of nah, not doing it and folk will just accept you dont do xmas.
look at it as a lifestyle choice, like veganism. some folk wont understand it, but its your choice and all they can ultimately do is take the piss a bit.
dont go into a tirade about the commercialism of xmas or any of that shit (valid though those reasons may be) as it tends to wind pro-xmas folk up and make them want to make you like xmas.
just smile and say nah, having a year off and give no further justification. if theres no nub of disatisfaction, theres nothing for folk to latch onto so they just shrug and get on with enjoying their own festive season.
...best in anticipation and hindsight. Never in actuality. Like most things. Tragic.
I mean, they were going to be on their own and everything, but still.......and then it got out at work that I'd done this and people were like 'did you invite so and so to xmas at yours?' and now I look like some weirdo that invites people from work to xmas day
We have one of my brother's friends over this year.
bit of food and drink.. Dr Who.. why not.
I can't wait to see those faeces
lighten up you miserable scrotes
However this year I'll be spending a chunk of it in an intensive care ward.
So I'm happy to join in the 'fuck off Christmas' chorus this year.
sorry to hear that. is it for yourself or visiting another poorly individual? either way :(
save your sympathy for my dad and my sister though: not only will they have to spend a fair bit of their Christmas in the ICU, they'll then return home to be served Christmas dinner cooked by me. The poor bastards.
and that you dont fuck up the xmas dinner for your dad and sister.
heading back to my parents for delicious home cooked food, lots of drinks, book reading by the fire, film watching and little more, can't wait to have no obligations for a few days
she loves lego.
She loves dragons.
I'm SO excited about her opening it, Christmas is going to be great.
This is about the best ever description of Christmas ever. Ever.
Like EVER. Sums everything up perfectly.
Although, it's not been like that so much since I consciously avoid spending it with my family. Which sounds bad but my parents hated eachother and it added to the grimness of the day.
you cant keep all that those people cooped up for hours in a situation already front loaded with enmity, a years worth of petty ill will, disappontment and recrimination and then pile on the booze without it being a shitfest which usually ends with at least one raging arguement, at least one family member in tears and at least one ungrateful prick moaning about how they didnt get <item> and going into a huff for the rest of the day,
no matter how good the film is on telly in the afternoon.
which is just the corn husk on the top of the shit pile.