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His name was Brian, and Finger Pie rhymes with Bri if you're 12 so...
Emmett looked like uncle fester from the Adams family, he was also from a place in dublin called killester. The molester we added for lols
because i “looked like a Gerald”
ie like a 40 year old man that's been shrunk a bit and put in a school uniform. It didn't really catch on as a nickname though.
bowser aka bows
dunno why but we played a load of games when i was a kid so i persume it was cos i was a boss.
Like the Mortal Kombat character. That was pretty cool.
Not because I was great at Kung-fu or anything. Quite the opposite.
he had a man's head.
Train Boy #1
Train Boy #2
Sam's Shag-Me Girl
Twigs for Hair
Small Deer-Like Goth
Cay T Shirt Chris
Muse T Shirt Sarah
The boy with the girl
The girl with the boy
Girl We Should Know But Don't
Fat Dan / F@ Dan
Sam's Townie Friend Chris
Mish Mosh Mike
Wanker with the Crocketts T shirt
Rob from Hollyoaks
Graeme (Can't remember her actual name, this was her nickname)
Amy from Neighbours
That's just a long list of things said in jest.
he was quite popular until i worked out that if you turned the two sylabbles of his names around you get Anal Mancheese. Still one of my proudest achievements
Kid who looks about 30
Liz the Goth
cos his surname was cunliffe and that sounds like cunt sniff.
because he was tall, had alopecia and was always smiling.
He's got a really wispy beard now. Great bloke, good ol' Grinner.
True enough, I never once saw him with a top on
He looked a bit like a foetus.
He liked cardigans.
It is a close approximation of my name in hilarious form
"Smooth Alan" on account of him for being a bearded love god.
His main one is Barry (sort of the last bit of his surname), but some others include...
VICTOR (he shouted I AM THE VICTOR! after winning at Tekken or some game once, so we called him Victor for a while)
PILGRIM SNIFFER (from primary school, apparently no reason whatsoever for this)
WORTHLESS (a teacher jokingly described him as worthless, so we called him Worthless for a while)
GRANDAD FUCKER (I can't even remember, nothing sinister though)
All of this is in good humour as he's one of the nicest guys in the United Kingdom.
One of his friends is nicknamed Dr. Snowy, and is actually called that by our entire group of friends when we're out with him or referring to him, like its totally normal. No idea why. His name is Martin, and he's not a doctor.
was the nickname given to this kid named Trent with a very unfortunate bowl cut.
A drunk girl called him it once, so it stuck for eight years. Five years of hatred of it, ollowed by three years of acceptance.
for my mate greg
Backstory: Robert Birrell was a shy, quiet boy in my year at primary school with twiglet limbs and a high girly voice. So unassuming that he was under the radar of even the most desperate bullies. Until the day that Miss Belcastro called Robert out to the front of the class, and announced that this was a very special day. "Today..." she said, "...is Robert's... BIRTHDAY!"
And on "birthday", Robert Birrell, overcome with the momentousness of the occasion, leaned forward and vomited copiously.
Shortly afterwards, someone came up with the idea of calling him "Gobbert" in reference to the chunky, spattering sound his lunch made as it hit the floor. And "Gobbert" he remained, for the remaining three years of primary school.
a girl in my brother's class came into school with any eye bandage on (she had an operation the previous day...) she was known as Pudsey for the rest of school...
Wasn't even very fat. Saw him in the holidays after first term of first year of uni and made clear about 12 times during a five minute conversation that he had the nickname "STRIKER" in university now. People call him "STRIKER", he's "STRIKER". STRIKER.
I was one day having a bit of a banter barney with him and finished with *Well, at least I don't look like a smack head*
It stuck to a point beyond words, as people would tap the vein on the inside of their elbow when he walked past
I Hate Life Guy
then someones mum complained that her son was called 'slug' and we got told they were banned and if a teacher heard us use one we would get a detention
When finding Nemo came out I was called Nemo for months.
Also, im college one of my friends tried to start the name "armadildo" for me. luckily it didnt take off.
Most were absolute bollocks and fell away immediately. However, he called our mate Andrew *Butch* and it just stuck. He, naturally, absolutely despised it, and at uni used the fresh start to trying and get rid of it. I still almost call him Butch and have to correct myself.
We called our mate Anthony *Swiss* which I always enjoyed.
I also liked calling my mate Ross *Rossell* because people were always asking him what Ross was short for.
Fandy. In sixth from some boy started in the year below, however he looked Andy from our year. But fat. Fat Andy. Fandy.
There weren't that many great nicknames in my school though. We preferred the more eloquent 'remember when you did this embarrassing thing you PRICK' method of taking the piss.
My nickname was 'doughnut'.
Ming in a Sling...........(Ugly girl who showed up on the 1st day of 6th form with a broken arm)
The Super Furry Animal....... (Exceedingly hairy girl)
Growler.........(Girl with exceptionally hairy back)
He had the knack of coming up with ones that stuck, hence there are middle-aged blokes in pubs around Derby called Rabbit, Duster, Godber and Bill
because he was mauled by a dog as a kid.
turned around, dropped his cargos and gave a bunch of the lads a good long squint with his brown eye. All just fun and games.
But, he being about 14 and a bit of a late bloomer, well, someone noticed that he'd yet to sprout any dark spiders legs from his sports gear.
The poor fella was called bald budgie from that day on. I think it really scarred him too.
...because of Dark Satanic Mills ("Mills" being my surname).
Hilarious, and faintly racist (I'm an average white bloke).
Some girl in our class started crying when "I Swear" by [some American R&B group] came on a radio. Turns out her uncle died and they played it at his funeral. Cue loads of kids singing it to her at every opportunity in a bid to make her cry. I found this funny at the time. Christ that was twattish.
as apparently his mum shagged the boss.
a boy's mum died just before he came to school. Everyone ended up calling him things like "rotting corpse". Which, you know, is pretty harsh. Everyone had an insult. School: Kinda full of cunts really.
after school, either in Uni or work - the harsh nicknames and abusing kids for having a dead relative just seemed to stop. If someone has a stutter or a lazy eye, we ignore it instead of pointing and shouting "SPASTIC FACE!"
And when I was 10 I called him 'Rubber Johnny Piss-Willy'. He complained and I got in trouble. :(
but someone I know had a mate called John at school who was deaf in one ear.
Does your mother have a fanny, does it smell? Oh fuckin hell.
He played prop for the rugby B team. The teamsheet put up by the teacher in charge of the team listed surnames - Smith, Jones, Bloggs etc,. After a few games he gave up checking how to spell it every time and just put "FRED". From here on in until the end of sixth form this teacher called him Fred, but nobody else did. It was a bit weird but quite funny to see him persist for seven years thinking it was hilarious.