Boards

you've got this broccoli right, well you get someone to chop it up into little broccoli bits, then you throw 'em in the oil, two mins, salt, pepper, bit of butter if you're feeling frisky, bang

and everyone loves bacon too, so you get a few slabs of Hovis and sit on them 'til the air comes out, then sprinkle some grated cheddar on top, few strips of bacon, oven for ten mins, ketchup to serve, good times

you don't need to cook at all, just get takeout, or borrow a slice from your mate, or have a Kit Kat, super duper