Standing by and doing nothing when something or someone is wrong
I'll post this here because most people here seem to live in big cities
Last night I got on the tube from Angel and these two girls get on. One is virtually comatose, the other thinking this is hilarious
"I'll get you home, don't worry". She then runs off as the doors are closing laughing her head off leaving her friend basically drooling into the person next door to her who looks embarrassed. Then rolls her head to the other side where the person laughs to her friends. Both women I hasten to add.
After one stop I get on my knees in front of her to talk to her to make sure she knows where she is going. She doesn't. She thinks she's going to Barking but she's not sure. We're heading south on trhe Northern Line.
"What is your name? Stay awake... Stay awake... " gently slapped her at this point as she kept slipping into unconsciousness.
"Why are you so angry at me?"
Broke my heart. I think she'd been spiked. Some other girls said they'd make sure she got home OK. They were heading off to get the DLR so they propped her up and carried her off in the right direction. Woman she first rolled onto said "you're a gentleman, so very rare". I couldn't bring myself to say "you were shrugging her off your shoulder and wouldn't even look at her"
Friends have warned me that I shouldn't be so gung ho but I can't stand that a whole carriage just stood there and watched. Is this what we're heading towards? I know people in cities can be cold but this person was so obviously in distress but no-one did anything.
I'll get a kicking one day for interfering, no doubt but rather that than just stand by...
On an up note My Dying Bride was amazing last night
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I mentioned the bystander effect on the metro death photo thread
and how we're becoming content to record a situation rather than intervene
obviously this doesn't apply to everyone and if we all take a personal oath to *get involved* if our instincts perceive something's amiss, we'll help make a better world. but how to manifest this oath? are there qualifiers of self-preservation in certain situations?
There's a video on YT
of a drunk / mentally ill person who collapses on the tube and people just step over him. Bad enough but some cunt videos this for nigh on six minutes....
Anyone remember "This is Youtube material!"
one of the most depressing news stories of recent years
it's wonderfully naive of you to assume that she'd been spiked
and not just a drunken twat!
sounds like you were a true gent. plaudits
I don't know
I'm a pretty heavy drinker. She might have been. The behaviour of her friend was utterly appalling
That woman has terrible friends.
And they'll probably just laugh about it next time they see her.
You did the right thing in that situation, well done.
and by means of explanation, trite as it may be
the loss of a sense of community or a solidarity with one's fellow-citizens has been the major factor behind this. we've been atomised by lifestyle, notions of individual primacy and imperatives to prioritise one's time in increasingly self-oriented ways, resulting in a sharpening of the analytical brain above the emotional one and hence the ability to split-second reason "no, not my problem" rather than think "shit, let's sort this out!" which requires an 'irrational' (by modern standards) emotion-led response and takes just that bit more external thought
also worth adding
that this ^^^ tends to occur more readily in the urban sprawl, and will be much less noticeable in a rural context. that london eh
Not sure that is able to be backed up, either.
People have their circles of friends and circles of family and circles of neighbours. I don't know whether they're any smaller in a city compared to a rural area or not - perhaps the city offers more opportunities for things to fall down the gaps in between, as there are just so many of these circles.
It's certainly not a modern thing.
There are countless examples of people stepping over dying children or homeless people throughout history.
If it happened less, it might be because they locked up a lot of people who might have been prone to falling into those kind of situations - either in gaol, the workhouse or asylums.
just throwin' that shit at that wall, marckee
although you make a good point that it's always been the case that some people will end up with nobody to help them. does seem to me that a sense of community is the best way to combat this. maybe a different thread could sort this - 'does your area have the feel of a community' or somesuch
as i say, all just a hunch i got, no stats for ya. sounds even this girl had a circle of friends or two until she was on her own, like. how many times do you make eye contact with a stranger on public transport per week, let alone strike up a conversation? we've all got our own shit, as we're told, and our own shit uber alles
you definitely did the right thing
sometimes you have to get a bit of a kicking anyway
gently slapped her at this point as she kept slipping into unconsciousness.
that is assault against a woman, you're a monster
Fair cop
WHY WERE YOU SO ANGRY AT HER?
I think a lot of people just genuinely don't know what to do
I'm kinda the opposite and tend to stop to help anyone who looks a bit unwell and have to help and call an ambulance or get them in a taxi (have given people money for taxis before...)
Getting first aid and defib training soon too (y)
I don't really understand why people tell the internet this sort of stuff.
You've nothing to prove. None of us think you're a bad person.
None of us think you're a bad person
mainly because none of us have ever heard of you.
Bit cynical
maybe he just wanted a discussion on it.
he just wants to let somebody know about what a great guy he is
under the guise of a "where are we heading" post
was probably fapps
I just wanted to say it wasn't me.
I did get the dlr home last night but I was sober :)
Slavestate, you're a decent human. I despair at some people, but I also understand the unwillingness to get involved in stuff that's not your own shit. I say understand, not condone.
Always best to inform a third party, imho.
Even an ambulance or the police.
It's very dodgy ground for a guy to be getting himself involved with. People might not think you're trying to help, or something could happen after you've helped her and she remembers your face or gets the police involved and you're seen on CCTV walking her off a train or something.
Best not to get involved, really. Speak to someone via the emergency button, or give 999 a quick call. Leaves it to the experts, and covers your own back. Sad perhaps, but we live in that sort of world.
^i think this is spot on, just make sure someone you can definitely trust sorts her out
also, if the emergency services do end up being the ones who sort her out, would her mates be more likely to realise that how they acted was unacceptable?
Very much agree to hand over to the experts
Although by stopping a train for an emergency alarm or similar you are by definition getting involved. It is a sad indictment really that I would hesitate to do this unless I thought the person needed a 999 ambulance.
ahah i was on the overground last night
different train, same sitch.
Similar to the OP
...only it was a young guy in Glasgow.
He was only 17, was from some wee village up north and didn't know the city at all.
I asked him if he was okay and he said he was out for his older sister's birthday. She had done one back to Kilmarnock and left him in the middle on an unfamiliar city.
I was heading for Central Station with my pal so we got him a ticket and took him on the subway. We then took him to the train station where I used his phone to call his sister.
I found out where he was going, bought him a ticket and put him on the train. I asked her to make sure she was there to get him.
I wonder if he ever made it.
Some people probably wanted to help, but were just too embarrassed to get up in front of the whole carriage and
do something about it.
I probably would have done something similar to you, but I'd have been feeling extremely self conscious about it. It would have been right outside my comfort zone to do something like that...with loads of people watching.