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how much would you have to be paid to carry out a contract killing?

cat_race [Edit] [Delete] 47 replies 16:09 December 4th, 2012

i think somewhere in the region of £30k for me. dunno what the going rate is though

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what happened to peace and love man?

monoshono | 4 Dec '12, 16:10 | X | ^ This | Reply
- it's just a question
  
  cat_race @monoshono | 4 Dec '12, 16:13 | X | ^ This | Reply
Depends who I'd have to kill.

There are plenty of people I'd happily kill for tuppence.

eltham | 4 Dec '12, 16:12 | X | ^ This | Reply

PickledOeuf this'd this
- you'd happily kill someone?
  
  cat_race @eltham | 4 Dec '12, 16:13 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - http://i.imgur.com/HqVOH.jpg
    
    japes @cat_race | 4 Dec '12, 16:18 | X | ^ This | Reply
    
    moker and andyvine this'd this
    - :D
      
      Poor monkey.
      
      msmonipenni @japes | 4 Dec '12, 16:27 | X | ^ This | Reply
No no no

If you get paid to do it you run a big risk in getting caught. Rather do something like 'Strangers on a train'

msmonipenni | 4 Dec '12, 16:12 | X | ^ This | Reply
- what's that?
  
  cat_race @msmonipenni | 4 Dec '12, 16:13 | X | ^ This | Reply
- ^voice of experience
  
  chilling
  
  chickenbones @msmonipenni | 4 Dec '12, 16:14 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - *arousing.
    
    DaddyorChips @chickenbones | 4 Dec '12, 16:20 | X | ^ This | Reply
    - ...
      
      chickenbones @DaddyorChips | 4 Dec '12, 16:21 | X | ^ This | Reply
- Great story that
  
  Must watch again
  
  slavestate @msmonipenni | 4 Dec '12, 16:15 | X | ^ This | Reply
  
  DaddyorChips this'd this
- Because that ended well for everyone involved
  
  Dans @msmonipenni | 4 Dec '12, 16:18 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - I said 'like'
    
    you learn from the ending.
    Practice makes perfect.
    
    msmonipenni @Dans | 4 Dec '12, 16:21 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - Apart from the people on the roundabout that is
    
    NoahVale @Dans | 4 Dec '12, 16:37 | X | ^ This | Reply
£50 for a straight drop

£180 for torture

Songs_about_ducking | 4 Dec '12, 16:13 | X | ^ This | Reply
- value
  
  cat_race @Songs_about_ducking | 4 Dec '12, 16:13 | X | ^ This | Reply
  
  andyvine this'd this
  - Come to the provincial towns
    
    Prices are better than cities.
    
    Songs_about_ducking @cat_race | 4 Dec '12, 16:27 | X | ^ This | Reply
    - don't you live in edinburgh?
      
      cat_race @Songs_about_ducking | 4 Dec '12, 16:29 | X | ^ This | Reply
      - See how good I am at this?
        
        Slippery as a goddamn fucking eel
        
        Songs_about_ducking @cat_race | 4 Dec '12, 16:31 | X | ^ This | Reply
        
        hahaha
        
        cat_race @Songs_about_ducking | 4 Dec '12, 16:31 | X | ^ This | Reply
£5k + taxi fare.

SarcasticFringehead | 4 Dec '12, 16:13 | X | ^ This | Reply
I don't think there's a demand for my skills as a contract killer really.

For poorly protected targets, my price would be undercut by some hapless junkie/gangster wannabe. For well protected targets, I don't have the necessary skills or experience or connections, do you see?

monoshono | 4 Dec '12, 16:14 | X | ^ This | Reply
- i do see
  
  but for the sake of argument, the person organising it wants YOU. what's your price?
  
  cat_race @monoshono | 4 Dec '12, 16:15 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - Depends on who they want me to do in. Who it is will determine the risk involved.
    
    For example, if it was senior figures in Iran asking me to kill Michael Jackson to distract from their rigged election, then my price would be £23 million.
    
    monoshono @cat_race | 4 Dec '12, 16:18 | X | ^ This | Reply
    - ok £23mill, cool
      
      cat_race @monoshono | 4 Dec '12, 16:19 | X | ^ This | Reply
      - If its just a pleb like you though
        
        £30k maybe?
        
        monoshono @cat_race | 4 Dec '12, 16:20 | X | ^ This | Reply
        
        ok £30k
        
        cool
        
        cat_race @monoshono | 4 Dec '12, 16:22 | X | ^ This | Reply
        
        stop that
        
        monoshono @cat_race | 4 Dec '12, 16:23 | X | ^ This | Reply
A billion £

meowington | 4 Dec '12, 16:15 | X | ^ This | Reply
- that's quite a lot
  
  what do you offer that a cheaper hitman wouldn't?
  
  Smyth2 @meowington | 4 Dec '12, 16:17 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - I'll throw in a blowie
    
    meowington @Smyth2 | 4 Dec '12, 16:24 | X | ^ This | Reply
    - :D
      
      msmonipenni @meowington | 4 Dec '12, 16:29 | X | ^ This | Reply
      
      splitterwill, Smyth2, and joeymahone this'd this
Advert for Sims on right

"Play With Life".

Brilliant

slavestate | 4 Dec '12, 16:17 | X | ^ This | Reply
Sliding scale based upon who the person is, what disguises I will have to wear, and how many energy bars I will need to scran whilst crouching in the undergrowth.

It is a competitive market place but I my work ethic and attention to detail make me the ideal candidate for the job.

This was a job offer wasn't it?

Jawstheshark | 4 Dec '12, 16:17 | X | ^ This | Reply
- scran is not a verb
  
  it stands for sultanas currants raisins and nuts
  
  monoshono @Jawstheshark | 4 Dec '12, 16:20 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - thanks, Ray Mears
    
    Jawstheshark @monoshono | 4 Dec '12, 16:35 | X | ^ This | Reply
Dunno.

I'd probably sub-contract it though.

Do sub-contract killers exist?

I got a bit squeamish plucking & preparing a dead duck, so I imagine I'd struggle to kill an actual human.

deadonthestairs | 4 Dec '12, 16:20 | X | ^ This | Reply
- i think i could probably do it if i didn't know them
  
  cat_race @deadonthestairs | 4 Dec '12, 16:22 | X | ^ This | Reply
  - I didn't know the duck.
    
    It had nice soft feathers.
    
    deadonthestairs @cat_race | 4 Dec '12, 16:24 | X | ^ This | Reply
    - it was already dead?
      
      cat_race @deadonthestairs | 4 Dec '12, 16:25 | X | ^ This | Reply
      - What was?
        
        deadonthestairs @cat_race | 4 Dec '12, 16:25 | X | ^ This | Reply
        
        your friend you were plucking
        
        cat_race @deadonthestairs | 4 Dec '12, 16:26 | X | ^ This | Reply
        
        What are you on about
        
        deadonthestairs @cat_race | 4 Dec '12, 16:29 | X | ^ This | Reply
A non jokey honest answer would be

I wouldn't do it.

Glad I could contribute.

moker | 4 Dec '12, 16:42 | X | ^ This | Reply
- no, that's ok
  
  thanks for playing
  
  cat_race @moker | 4 Dec '12, 16:43 | X | ^ This | Reply
I wanted to do this when I was a child

I imagined that i would be able to filter out jobs i didnt want to do, by making them much much more expensive (because they would be more difficult for me to do) so I would be taking my moral sensibilities into account, as part of the expense of doing it.

However I have far to much human warmth and empathy which means that I am totally priced out of the market

creakyknees | 5 Dec '12, 23:01 | X | ^ This | Reply

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