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Seeing your ex out & about

Aaron [Edit] [Delete] 101 replies 12:49, 27 November '12

We have threads on every other aspect of relationships, may as well have this.

How do you feel about it? I usually see her if we're both at home (family homes) as we tend to go to the same places etc. At first it was a bit weird (we were together for fucking ages) but now it doesn't really bother me. She was even out with her new fella last time and it bothered him a LOT more than me, they even had a public spat and weird texts were sent my way and errr'ting.

Got me thinking about this as I've just clicked that we're probably both gonna be in the same place on Friday, should be fun. Maybe it bothers me slightly as I'm thinking about it. WHO KNOWS.

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  • it's fine. i'm good friends with almost all my exes

    cat_race | 27 Nov '12, 12:50 | X
    • Your ex lives on my street.

      She's a great bunch o' lass.

      deadonthestairs @cat_race | 27 Nov '12, 12:57 | X
      • yeah, she's cool

        cat_race @deadonthestairs | 27 Nov '12, 12:59 | X
        • Can I chat up your ex that I met, if I ever meet her again?

          She was nice.

          Kitchmo @cat_race | 27 Nov '12, 13:22 | X
          • When did you meet his ex that you met?

            deadonthestairs @Kitchmo | 27 Nov '12, 13:27 | X
            • we're on about two different exes here guys

              cat_race @deadonthestairs | 27 Nov '12, 13:28 | X
              • Absolute playa'

                deadonthestairs @cat_race | 27 Nov '12, 13:33 | X
                andyvine this'd this
                • 2 of many my friend

                  cat_race @deadonthestairs | 27 Nov '12, 13:35 | X
          • yeah course you can

            cat_race @Kitchmo | 27 Nov '12, 13:28 | X
            • do you fancy her?

              cat_race @cat_race | 27 Nov '12, 13:31 | X
              • I only met her once, for a few hours and I'd only just broken up with someone

                But I was sad when you left, so I'm going to say yeah, I fancied her.

                Kitchmo @cat_race | 27 Nov '12, 13:34 | X
                • aw, she'll like hearing that, i'm going for a drink with her tomorrow while she's up north

                  cat_race @Kitchmo | 27 Nov '12, 13:35 | X
                • I KNEW IT.

                  hip_young_gunslinger @Kitchmo | 27 Nov '12, 13:42 | X
                  • i suspected it

                    cat_race @hip_young_gunslinger | 27 Nov '12, 13:44 | X
                    • I wasn't trying to hide it.

                      You should tell her, everyone likes being fancied

                      Kitchmo @cat_race | 27 Nov '12, 13:52 | X
                      • true dat

                        cat_race @Kitchmo | 27 Nov '12, 13:53 | X
                      • WHO ARE WE TALKING ABOUT

                        meowington @Kitchmo | 27 Nov '12, 13:59 | X
                        • my mate/ex who i brought for a beer with us

                          just before i went to NY

                          cat_race @meowington | 27 Nov '12, 14:01 | X
                          • Ooh yes.

                            i thought she was with someone, no?

                            meowington @cat_race | 27 Nov '12, 14:02 | X
                            • yeah she is with one of my best mates

                              cat_race @meowington | 27 Nov '12, 14:02 | X
                              • Probably one of the reasons I liked her

                                the unobtainable are safe to fancy when you're just broken up with someone.

                                Kitchmo @cat_race | 27 Nov '12, 14:08 | X
                              • is she in an open relationship

                                are you encouraging her to cheat on your best mate with kitchmo

                                meowington @cat_race | 27 Nov '12, 14:10 | X
                                • no she isn't and no i'm not!

                                  cat_race @meowington | 27 Nov '12, 14:11 | X
                                  • This started out as such a nice conversation about harmlessly fancying people

                                    Now Meow wants to cause infidelity and destroy others' happiness. I expected better than that from her.

                                    Kitchmo @cat_race | 27 Nov '12, 14:19 | X
                                    cat_race this'd this
                                    • I can't keep track of who's shagging who

                                      Everyone is shagging everyone lately and I CANT KEEP UP

                                      meowington @Kitchmo | 27 Nov '12, 14:33 | X
                                      • If it makes you feel better i'm not shagging anyone.

                                        Kitchmo @meowington | 27 Nov '12, 14:40 | X
                                        • and i'm only shagging one person

                                          cat_race @Kitchmo | 27 Nov '12, 14:40 | X
                                          • more than most around here

                                            (me included)

                                            Antelope @cat_race | 27 Nov '12, 14:43 | X
                                            • awww :(

                                              cat_race @Antelope | 27 Nov '12, 14:44 | X
                                              • no it's okay

                                                i don't need all that baggage atm

                                                *thinly-veiled i have no options so pretending i don't like casual sex*

                                                Antelope @cat_race | 27 Nov '12, 14:50 | X
                                    • Something about the Housemartin's song Caravan of Love.

                                      hip_young_gunslinger @Kitchmo | 27 Nov '12, 14:35 | X
                                      Kitchmo this'd this
                                      • I thought of you LOSERS yesterday when walking past the Screen on the Green

                                        there was a film about a man and his caravan. I can't give you any more details than that.

                                        meowington @hip_young_gunslinger | 27 Nov '12, 15:03 | X
                                        • You went to see a film about a caravan?

                                          you've realy embraced the life.

                                          Kitchmo @meowington | 27 Nov '12, 15:13 | X
                                          deadonthestairs this'd this
  • Is it not more an issue of you thinking about it

    because of the problems her fella had with you last time.

    It sounds like you and her are fine, it's him that has the problem.

    So, go along, chat to her, chat to him, spike his drink, take compromising photos of him, then post them on tinternet.

    xheathenx | 27 Nov '12, 12:51 | X
    • suck his dick

      cat_race @xheathenx | 27 Nov '12, 12:52 | X
      • whilst i admire your work

        i would not recommend this particular course of action unless;
        a) you wanted to
        b) it would make a funny photo

        xheathenx @cat_race | 27 Nov '12, 12:55 | X
        • there's something about sucking a straight guy's dick

          that i imagine would leave them with a real turmoil

          cat_race @xheathenx | 27 Nov '12, 12:56 | X
          • i think it's the ultimate post modern practical joke

            cat_race @cat_race | 27 Nov '12, 12:56 | X
            areyouarealdoctor, rainmaker, and JaguarPirate this'd this
            • A straight guy, sucking another straight guy's dick,

              even for comedy or instructional purposes, is gay.

              xheathenx @cat_race | 27 Nov '12, 13:03 | X
              • it doesn't have to be a straight guy doing the sucking

                cat_race @xheathenx | 27 Nov '12, 13:04 | X
                • http://tinyurl.com/6zqya67

                  TheComedian @cat_race | 27 Nov '12, 16:17 | X
  • This will happen at christmas

    But my life is going pretty well and I have a super hot boyfriend so I won't really care.

    Tillance | 27 Nov '12, 12:53 | X
  • I'm so non-confrontational that I just moved

    Easier that way.

    Epimer | 27 Nov '12, 12:56 | X
  • you all fretting again 'bout things that don't matter

    cat_race | 27 Nov '12, 12:57 | X
    • Not everyone can become emotionally detached at the drop of a hat c_r

      Antelope @cat_race | 27 Nov '12, 13:33 | X
  • Is this like when people

    put "looking for interesting opportunities" on their LinkedIn profile, where it says "employer." ?

    the_bread_museum | 27 Nov '12, 12:58 | X
  • It's not a problem.

    Bumped into each other and kind of had a clear the air in the summer, after a pretty nasty breakup and afters. Don't really see her around that much, but when I do it's not really a problem. Also my new gf is awesome.

    I bump into my exs sister more though, thought it might be strange to talk to her at first, but it's kind of like I can view her as her own person rather than just my ex's sister.

    TheSoundofBastards | 27 Nov '12, 13:01 | X
  • I only seem to bump into them

    A day or two after I've drunkenly unfriended them on Facebook.

    twentynine | 27 Nov '12, 13:03 | X
  • Depends on how/when the break-up happened

    and the intentions of both parties. If you have both ''moved on'' then exes can often get on well/be polite. If there is lingering love/hate then things can get messy. Whenever I have been in this situation in the past I have gone out of my way to avoid contact for a while. That can be difficult (emotionally and logistically) but I found it better in the long run.

    NoahVale | 27 Nov '12, 13:03 | X
    • ^this

      A cooling off period where you don't see each other at all does the trick I think.

      TheSoundofBastards @NoahVale | 27 Nov '12, 13:09 | X
      PickledOeuf and Antelope this'd this
      • Cooling off period

        That was the phrase I was looking for. Hard to believe I work in the insurance industry

        NoahVale @TheSoundofBastards | 27 Nov '12, 13:22 | X
  • flick the Vs at them with my hand still in my pocket

    japes | 27 Nov '12, 13:04 | X
    • so you're rubbing yourself?

      Aaron @japes | 27 Nov '12, 13:06 | X
      • whilst crying.

        yes.

        japes @Aaron | 27 Nov '12, 13:09 | X
        cocodaLOL this'd this
    • alright Alanis

      Smyth2 @japes | 27 Nov '12, 14:37 | X
      japes this'd this
  • you just have to realise that (tall) ship(s) has passed

    Jordan_229_2 | 27 Nov '12, 13:05 | X
  • I remember seeing an ex at our grad ball

    and she was having an argument with her bloke and generally having a shit time.

    Made my night that did.

    zxcvbnm- | 27 Nov '12, 13:08 | X
    • ^ even if you get on with your ex

      this is always great to see.

      Royter-Hatfood @zxcvbnm- | 27 Nov '12, 13:38 | X
      LordLuciusBanter and zxcvbnm- this'd this
      • Clarification:

        Not like genuine abject misery, just ha ha I'm winning sort of stuff.

        Actually no. I take it all back. Apols to the former Mrs Hatfood.

        Royter-Hatfood @Royter-Hatfood | 27 Nov '12, 13:48 | X
  • Depends don't it

    if enough time has elapsed it is really nice, catching up finding out how they're getting on.

    If not enough time has passed it is awkward and horrible.

    Kitchmo | 27 Nov '12, 13:20 | X
    PickledOeuf and andyvine this'd this
    • how did you feel when you saw my ex out and about?

      cat_race @Kitchmo | 27 Nov '12, 13:21 | X
      • http://drownedinsound.com/community/boards/social/4420768#r7183233

        Kitchmo @cat_race | 27 Nov '12, 13:24 | X
    • Especially if they start dropping emotionally testing questions into innocuous conversations

      *sips whisky*

      Epimer @Kitchmo | 27 Nov '12, 13:27 | X
      Kitchmo this'd this
  • Yeah I'm with C_R on this who really gives a fuck?

    wilykit | 27 Nov '12, 13:23 | X
    • The answer is, as is always the case with every question on here,

      it depends.

      deadonthestairs @wilykit | 27 Nov '12, 13:28 | X
      Kitchmo, ChintzyLacroix, Royter-Hatfood, PickledOeuf, LordLuciusBanter, and hedgehog this'd this
      • just agree with me!

        cat_race @deadonthestairs | 27 Nov '12, 13:29 | X
      • I honestly got confused and thought I was posting on the other thread about would you lie

        about who dumped who. Although I don't particularly care about seeing my exes out and about either.

        wilykit @deadonthestairs | 27 Nov '12, 13:47 | X
        • cat_race isn't going to sleep with you, you know?

          (he might)

          deadonthestairs @wilykit | 27 Nov '12, 13:55 | X
          cat_race this'd this
          • Certainly get a free blowie out of it anyway.

            wilykit @deadonthestairs | 27 Nov '12, 13:57 | X
  • implying that disers leave the house/basement

    Antelope | 27 Nov '12, 13:30 | X
    oojimaflop this'd this
  • Depends on how shit your ex was.

    If he/she was mega shit, you'd probably be angry if you saw him/her.
    If he/she was well nice and you ended on not too bad terms, it'll probably be alright if you bumped into them.

    meowington | 27 Nov '12, 14:01 | X
  • I pretended for a long time that one of my ex girlfriends was dead in order to stop people asking me about her.

    It caused no end of weirdness when we'd see her out and about with her new boyfriends in town, and I'd have to continue with my charade.

    keith | 27 Nov '12, 14:11 | X
    • *Arrghh a ghost!*

      Kitchmo @keith | 27 Nov '12, 14:16 | X
      urbanfox, Ichor, keith, and hedgehog this'd this
      • More along the lines of:

        No, you didn't. She's dead.

        keith @Kitchmo | 27 Nov '12, 18:35 | X
        • ^Not this/ Quotes fail

          Isn't that Sarah over there?

          No. She died.

          I was talking to her at the bar.

          No, you didn't. She's dead.

          It's probably the most mature break-up I've had.

          keith @keith | 27 Nov '12, 18:39 | X
          • i'd probably do something similar

            Mick_Squalor @keith | 27 Nov '12, 20:12 | X
            keith this'd this
  • I have broadly speaking gotten on ok with my exes, or simply never seen them again

    One didn't end great, she dumped me, I felt rubbs about it. Didn't see her for a month, then bumped into, literally as I was going to the loo at Afterskool. We were pleasant enough but it made me really sad and I had a shit night. #emo

    Another time I was up in Newcastle for a friend's birthday and I bumped into my first ex (she went to Uni there) in the o2 shop. She was all like coy oh how are you? Proceeded to tell her how absolutely fucking brilliant my life was. She was a junior doctor working a ridic amount of hours and not going so great. Made me feel like a big man

    LordLuciusBanter | 27 Nov '12, 14:26 | X
    • wow, a doctor you say ?

      she really fucked up there man, what a mess

      oh_gerardus_MERCATOR @LordLuciusBanter | 27 Nov '12, 15:59 | X
      deadonthestairs and Antelope this'd this
  • I just play this song in my head when I bump into mine...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0qDFuViH6M

    YEAH.

    GetOffMyLawn | 27 Nov '12, 14:31 | X
  • I'm totally cool with seeing my ex when I go back to the motherland.

    It's her that is a little awkward around me, I think it's my manly persona.

    Ichor | 27 Nov '12, 14:46 | X
  • Strangely all of my exes are married or getting married

    I was the last person they dated before their wives/fiances.
    When I found out my first love was having a baby with his wife, my heart sank a little. :(

    msmonipenni | 27 Nov '12, 14:47 | X
    • Things people I have gone out with have done

      - Got married
      - Emigrated
      - Died

      I'm getting old

      LordLuciusBanter @msmonipenni | 27 Nov '12, 15:18 | X
      • I've a mate who a few years ago had some kind of marriage-Midas touch

        ALL his ex-girlfriends had got married to the next bloke they'd met after him. And then it started happening with people he dated or got off with. It was hilarious (for me).

        Royter-Hatfood @LordLuciusBanter | 27 Nov '12, 15:55 | X
        • Yep. That's pretty much what happens with me.

          Date a guy. We break up, next girl he marries.

          msmonipenni @Royter-Hatfood | 27 Nov '12, 16:00 | X
          • Dinner?

            Ichor @msmonipenni | 27 Nov '12, 16:15 | X
            • Sure.

              Looking to get hitched are ya?

              msmonipenni @Ichor | 27 Nov '12, 16:18 | X
              • If you put it like that I sound like rom com character.

                I feel dirty inside.

                Ichor @msmonipenni | 27 Nov '12, 16:21 | X
  • Makes no difference to me any more- I'm dead inside.

    DaddyorChips | 27 Nov '12, 16:05 | X
  • i have met my Ex™

    three times

    - the first time it was fine until she started shouting at me. i told her to fuck off.
    - the second time she noticed i was smoking and then was outside crying; that was unrelated to me mind.
    - third time was great. her new man was cool, chatted to him for a while and then she left. not bad.

    not seen her since. looking forward to bumping into her with the puppy.

    justanothersheeldz | 27 Nov '12, 16:22 | X
    • you only met her 3 times?

      cant call her an ex then really

      TheKennedyCurse @justanothersheeldz | 27 Nov '12, 16:24 | X
      • hrm?

        we are no longer in a relationship. i have met her three times since. it's not like i called her Ex™ whilst we were dating, though that might've expedited the process.

        No cigar, son.

        justanothersheeldz @TheKennedyCurse | 27 Nov '12, 16:33 | X
  • Saw one at work a few weeks back.

    Had a brief chat. She is and always has been friendly enough.

    I then saw her parents in the pub a few nights later and her dad bought me a drink :D

    urbanfox | 27 Nov '12, 16:48 | X
  • Apparently my ex was throwing evils at me at a gig on Saturday.

    Exes have added an interesting element to the recent spate of emo-ish nostalgia gigs. Been a few times now that mates I didn't know when with the ex have worriedly nudged me and asked why a demented woman in the corner is glowering at me while slowly sharpening a knife.

    DanielKelly | 27 Nov '12, 17:23 | X
    • what did you do to her, Kelly?

      cocodaLOL @DanielKelly | 27 Nov '12, 21:33 | X
      • First he giveth.

        Then he taketh away.

        DanielKelly @cocodaLOL | 27 Nov '12, 21:38 | X
        cocodaLOL this'd this
  • Saw one at a gig last month

    I very maturely went to the other side of the club to avoid talking to him.

    cherrycola | 27 Nov '12, 19:55 | X
    Ichor this'd this
  • I was on a train in the seat across the aisle from one ex's Dad recently

    Mega awkward. We basically ignored each other until I got off, and there was a strange 'Hello'/nod type thing as I made eye contact. He never really liked me anyway, and it wasn't the best of breakups either with his daughter which didn't help things...

    Generally get on really well with most of my other ex girlfriends though, only the one above who I don't talk to or see any more and that's probably for the best.

    1_234589 | 27 Nov '12, 20:20 | X
  • I play in a band with one of my exes.

    I make sure every rehearsal and every gig are as awkward as possible.

    Mozalini | 28 Nov '12, 10:10 | X
  • so far, I have never bumped into any of my exes

    I have seen one of them from afar, twice but I've always been a 'safe' distance away or on a bus or something.

    I think it'd be genuinely awkward to bump into at least 2 of them but the other one I still get on with so that would be ok.

    hedgehog | 28 Nov '12, 20:30 | X
  • Couldn't care less...saw her on Sunday. We went for a drink...

    she told me she's started going to church again (Roman Catholic) which came as a bit of a surprise given that she was sexually abused by priests whilst at school in Ealing (London Irish/catholics types will know where). She then told me that it was a good thing we hadn't decided to marry because for her the catholicism thing was non-negotiable and I'd have had to convert.

    I told her that in my opinion the catholic church was guilty of a vast and coordinated policy of covering up child rape on a near-industrial scale and that it beggared belief that she would want anything to do with it, especially given her experiences.

    Narrow escape there.

    Alex-in-Ciderland | 28 Nov '12, 20:35 | X
  • I was thinking about this earlier

    And remembered how nice it is bumping in to an actual ex rather then someone you terrible, drunk adolescent sex with. I don't think I'll be going out at Christmas.

    Tillance | 28 Nov '12, 21:15 | X
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