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This week I've learnt that I am fucking shit as using a scanner. Left me feeling like a bit of a mong.
What about you?
always my stock answer.
I can wrap them but the wrapping paper is always slack and it looks really shit.
I also can't roll a cigarette. Is this considered an easy task?
i PAY MY SISTER TO WRAP MY XMAS PRESENTS FOR ME.
actually, never mind
Usually my wrapping is better than my present.
I might start a service.
I am SO bad it's just ridiculous.
My lazy nursery school teacher taught us the 'two ears tied together' method. I was always jealous of the more complicated way. Never been able to master it.
what the two ears tied together method is
but if it's quicker i am all for it
I can only click mine if they are above ny head. True.
Which is weird because I'm right-handed
People always say 'i'll show you, its easy' I know how to do it, i just can't! Curse these oversized hands.
I can do it easy enough now, but it took me ages to learn
Rolling cigarettes is an art.
Absolutely bollocks at any accent except deepest Derbyshire
and (presumably) don't persist with them anyway
but its sounds south african :(
tries to do an impression of our american boss all the time and it's fucking woeful
I can't seem to eat without getting it on my face.
Having more on my face than in my mouth.
follow instructions, keep my eye on it, taste it, all that - just doesn't work.
just go and buy some from the takeaway or use packet stuff.
perhaps we can help
it's literally impossible to get home-cooked rice to taste anywhere near as nice as the takeaway stuff anyway, so i'm happy to just buy that.
you're wrong there. have a good life
i trust people who cook for a living to make nicer food.
it's kinda why people eat out so much, champ.
You'd be pretty skint.
i make perfect brown rice on a daily basis buddy
I tried it and it turned out horrible. I can do white rice perfectly, but brown is a whole other kettle of fish.
(Not racist, some of my best friends are brown rice)
man, that must be a depressing life.
They're great. Everyone in Japan has one.
apparently i was tampering with it too much
I used to have the same problem as you, but no longer. Rice cookers changed my life. For the better. Marginally.
put rice in pan... fill with water so the rice is covered + an inch more water. heat pan.
check if rice is cooked. if so eat rice.
That's a definite potential point of failure.
A rice cooker just stops cooking when the rice is done.
not really... I check most food I cook whilst cooking... otherwise how do you know it tastes nice?
So I'm happy to just let the rice cooker take care of that side of things. You can do the rice yourself though, that's cool, just bear in mind not everyone's up to the task.
of come dine with me and you serve rice cooked in a rice cooker Id knock half a point of my score
This rice is too perfectly done, it must have been made in a rice cooker. I'm afraid I can only give the meal 9.5.
or conceal the rice cooker somewhere that you wouldn't see it.
Actually no, fuck it: RICE COOKER AND PROUD.
just take the half point hit man, im sure your pudding and great hosting skills would make up for it
as long as you leave it to steam for a bit
add twice the amount of water
to the amount of rice
stick on the hob until the water goes
that's it. done.
get some quality basmati in and you'll wonder why you ever put up with the pauper stuff.
but i do baked rice. it's actually amazing and impossible to get wrong.
the lines are just slightly different
Tie a bow-tie.
I'll tie your bow tie.
Useless it's in America.
Makes me feel like an idiot getting someone else to do it.
This thread has made me determined to learn to tie my own tie from now on!
I can't colour within lines too. Primary school was a nightmare for me.
If they'd asked me to do it in the interview I'd never have been hired.
Other primary school skill I'm lacking: I can't cut in a straight line with scissors. Just can't do it.
The two "an" sounds in a row just seem wrong to me.
Tying/untying, writing, picking up tiny things. I've got massive idiot hands.
You're a man of many surprises, Mr Lypsenow
do you know what I did the other day??
I rode for at least five seconds with NO HANDS :o
I figure this is me naturally reverting to type, having spent most of my life on council estates.
It makes me nervous.
DON'T MAKE ME NERVOUS, MATT.
I know my limits. not going to go up and down kerbs and round slight bends whilst I'm texting with two hands like the lad I saw the other day.
We were in a car behind him. It was a road with cars parked on either side so we couldn't get past him, just had to wait for him to finish rolling his cigarette so he could put it in his mouth and have enough control over his bike to ride a foot closer to the curb. Mental
Eggs are my favourite food too, it's a sodding nightmare.
--Mum, can you come and fry this egg for me please--
I'm going to be fucked when I move out next year.
Maybe your inability to fry an egg IS ALL IN YOUR MIND? '-'
A decent non-stick pan does too.
(Genuine question). I know a few girls who can't burp.
Cut in a straight line with scissors :(
Curl my hair
Paint my nails neatly
Apply make up without looking like a clown
It just ends up being REALLY thin.
Is it more unusual to be able to swim or unable to ride a bike?
Never get too shocked if somebody says they can't swim, but if they say they can't ride a bike, instantly baffles me/makes me question their childhood & parents.
^this but for swimming
fair enough if you can't ride a bike, but what if you fall in some water?
it's no where near as bad now but one of the main side effects of that for me was never being able to maintain an equilibrium long enough to build up enough momentum in order to ride a bicycle without face planting. I tried to learn for 3 years but could never make it to the end of my road so I finally quit whilst all the cool kids went off on their bikes for adventures :(
Swimming comes somewhat instinctive to the human, at least doggy paddle, a bike is super unnatural
if you put a 6 month old baby in water it will drown
like they're second nature. but I'm fucking terrible at swimming.
You know, when they put their fingers in their mouths. I'd imagine it can be useful.
Pretty easy by most accounts, but I'm useless at it despite having good general hand/eye coordination (racket sports, playing guitar, slipping a didge, etc.).
start with one ball in your strong hand
throw it to the other in an arc
throw it back
practise until you dont have to move your hands to catch the ball
then add another ball,
when the first ball is at the top of the arc on its
way to the other hand throw the 2nd ball underneath it
practise doing this until it is easy
then do it the other way round
then add a third ball, when the 2nd is at the top
of the arc throw the third ball to the opposite hand
practise doing this until you can do it without
dropping the ball.
then just keep going.
seriously, 10 minutes of proper effort & you'll be there
try again using golf balls.
no idea if that's better, it's just how i did it
I'm also fuck useless when it comes to folding, I never do it neatly whether it be sheets of paper or your mums knickers
i'm fucking rubbish at it. In fact, I'm not sure it should even count as something that's 'easy'
with no hand rail so you're supposed to just walk on them? It took me a lot of effort to be able to do it. I have very shit balance...
Hanging photos up on the wall
Again, like Yesiamaduck, dyspraxic as a child, never learnt. Did try and try but could never get the balance right. Have tried since on a couple of occasions, still can't do it.
Never been caught out by not being able to do it, but I do get worried that one day I'll be on a holiday or something and someone will recommend going on a bike ride or something.
Ironically, I love watching cycling and find the sport fascinating... but can't ride a flipping bike.
Fortunately though, I'm not a total div, as I can swim really well.
is more pressure than doing difficult things, just because there's a good excuse if you mess up the difficult thing. Messing up the easy thing just makes you look like an idiot.
And that pressure makes the easy thing more difficult to do. As a situation, it's way bad.