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A thread about jealousy
jealousy is awful, innit?
I had a fit of mad jealousy, back in the day. in hindsight, it was probably more about my insecurities than the ex.
anyway, when we first got together, she used to tell me about this guy who she went to uni with. he was great, according to her. loved to surf, a real party animal etc. already, I was beginning to HATE this chump.
for some reason (and I wish I hadn't) I asked her if she had ever slept with him 'yes' was the awful, awful answer. my heart sunk. this guy was everything I wasn't (or so I thought)
my head was done in for a couple of months - I was CONVINCED she was still sleeping with him - why wouldn't she be?!
I became a sneaky mother fucker, trying to catch her out sending texts and stuff. this shit was eating me up inside. it was awful.
one day I confronted her about it. it was almost the end of things as she said (quite rightly) that she didn't want to be with someone who didn't trust her. she cried a lot over the next few weeks, if I remember correctly. bad times all round.
it took a lot of self discipline to kick this idiotic behaviour into touch, but I vowed from that moment on that I would never not trust anyone again. my trust issues really stem from the way my dad would always let me down, but that's for another thread guys. not now.
feel free to talk about about jealousy - whether you've been jealous of a partner, or a victim of it
cheers. this is a great, thought provoking thread. they always are
oh right? a thread about nothing.
now that i've read it though
it's good that you decided to just not be jealous. good work.
http://tinyurl.com/3nwmskl
none of my threads are about nothing
well, except the jet lag one. that's not a thing. but that thread is like this one/ the other threads are about falvours of electricty and all sorts
I'm almost certain that you have been swapped in the last month.
not sure what this means?
*swabbed
I'm not jealous in the slightest
my missus was quite jealous in the early days but I used to do the sort of insensitive shit your ex did (ie talk about ex-partners) so I can;'t blame her for being a bit jealous.
fix
I'm not the jealous type really
although I was suspicious about how close an old girlfriend was with one of her ex's which led to me catching them in bed together. Does it count as jealousy if you're completely right about it?
No, jealousy is a manifestation of insecurity
You did fine. Unless you slew and skinned them in bed and wore their genitals as jewellery, In that case you've lost the moral high ground.
Nah I didn't slew or skin them, he was a pretty big guy and it wouldn't have gone well for me
Saw this Frank Skinner routine about jealousy recently...
Found it quite funny, but bedwetting Guardianistas might not.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MuvQt0KaSks
Can't watch this (blocked) but
if it's the one I think, it's very funny and quite painful to watch
This is brutal :D
I used to be a jealous and paranoid person
when I was 19/20 but then I grew up a bit and realised that being jealous and paranoid wasn't going to stop someone cheating on me, if anything it would probably cause them to do it more because I'd be mental and shit to be around.
19/20 is almost perfect
Imagine how insecure us 14/20s feel.
hahah 14 you total ugger
: D
Is this about eye sight?
I don't really get it if not.
he suggest 19/20 refers to attractiveness instead of age. hilarity ensues
Oh okay.
I thought it was something to do with having 20/20 vision.
this last part I think is very true
I've been out with jealous/ needy types before, and when you're being made ot feel like you're doing something wrong, you start to think 'wel, I might as well bloody be doing it then.' Or as my mum would say 'I might as well be hanged for a sheep as a lamb'.
Oh dear
I'm afraid I have fallen into that trap. Problem is, when the shit hits the fan, you get: ''See! I knew you were up to something!!'' and trying to say that you werent is futile.
oh dear
Even when I've been pretty much accused of doig things, I've never actually gfone and done them. never cheated. Although I have thought 'why the FUCK am I staying true to this dickwipe?' and come quite close....
Its weird
but it just clicked one day. They'd still cheat or not if I wasn't jealous or paranoid so i just kind of dropped it and got less mental. This doesn't mean I don't get twinges or little moments of jealous/paranoia but I think its natural when you're in love and don't want to be hurt/lose someone. I think I just became more confident in being communicative with my partner.
:)
i get jel of people's careers
but i don't tell anyone - just let it eat me up inside a bit
fun times
Had an ex who went out of her way to make me jealous
and then would accuse me of being jealous. That was a fun game.
I had a similar ex at uni years ago.
She would go out of her way to make me jealous, said at one point she was testing me, and then she'd be upset when I wasn't.
Great times!
There were some brilliant, brilliant 'games'.
Like the time she sat on a friend of a friend's lap, tousling his hair, approached me (I'd fucked off to the other side of the room to chit-chat) to ask if it made me jealous, and then screamed that she 'couldn't deal with me' when I replied, exactly, 'yes, a little bit'.
Being jealous is bad though, even if it is the result of a deep-rooted insecurity that presumably you didn't purposefully create in yourself, and is a perfectly natural emotion to feel. I CAN'T BELIEVE ANYONE WOULD EVER FEEL JEALOUSLY, IDIOTS!
how long did you put up with that before you binned her?
hopefully not long
Not a jealous sort
Once got accused of cheating because she found an odd, female sock behind a radiator that had clearly been there for years.
I think I was more insulted that she thought if I was cheating then I'd be stupid enough to let my mistress leave with only one sock.
Should have told her your one-legged mistress left it for you as a wank-sock
I have a sock issue at the moment
There are a pair that I found on the floor, half-under my bed. I only found them this morning. I don't know if they belong to The Arm or the other one, or if they've in fact been there for a while. I think binning them will be the best plan, yes?
They look like really nice socks (kind of cashmerey) and I'd keep them if they weren't about twice the legth of my feet.
bin them
willy warmer?
I think the sanest, safest thing to do
Would be to convert them into fingerless gloves and wear them on all future dates.
:DDD
I find jealousy one of the least atractive traits in a human
THis is massively arrogant, but I'm just not easily thtreatened by anybody so it doens't occur to me. THere's no [point trying to compare yoursle fto other people, exes etc. It's completely stuid (unless your partner is giving you good reason to suspect that they still lvoe them, in which case it's not jealousy that's your problem. It's the fact your partner locves somebody else more than you.)
Very very silly emotion. I'm totally cat_race on this one- just odn't let yourself feel it.
its hard to just not feel soemthing tho.
use logic
are you joking?
no
i just think hey they've decided to be with me for some reason so now i'll enjoy it. if something goes wrong that's a shame but i'll worry about that further down the line. right now acting jealous is only going to make me look less appealing. and then that's how it goes away
i meant that part where you asked someone else to use logic to answer a question.
i don't understand
Some people like people to be jealous
like DK and someone else mentioned below about girls wanting their boyf to be jealous of them. But then they are probably just insecure and need constant reassurance.
yeah i'm not having that.
i am fully ready to lavish full attention on someone. but that's just very daft
cat_race if I asked you to
would you pay me some attention in front of CG? ya know to make him jealous?
(i'm in manchester next week. Are you free on Wednesday eve?)
i don't see why you'd be trying to make him jealous but
yeah i'll pay you some attention
those people are mental though
They're confusing the kind of attention that you get from a jealous or needy partner with the kind of affection or validation that you should get in a healthy relatiomship (which of course is different for verybody, but which, when it crosses the line, is MENTAL). I'm going to say the word mental again for effect. MENTAL.
mentalists
make music?
you are the least logical person
no i'm not
what goes through your head to make you feel that, though?
I assume I'm the best person they've ever gone out with, so it doesn't occur to me.
(I do hope you realise this is completely tongue in cheek)
i'm no psychiatrist.
fix
Never really get jealous in a romantic way.
Get jealous of people being good at things though. Is that okay?
Both me and my gf cheated on our exs with each other
It made it pretty difficult for us to trust each other as we both knew what the other was capable of.
When we moved out of our last place, she found a woman's necklace down the back of the bed in the spare room. I had as much of a clue how it got there or who's it was as she did (i.e. none), but it was tough to convince her of my innocence!
I once gave an ex a different girl's necklace back apart we'd split up.
That was fun.
:D
YES
She didn't even tell me.
Then I had to ask for it back to give to the real owner.
apart?
*after.
Fucking hell.
i hope it was pearl?
sorry.....
that makes no sense at all
*skulks off*
I had a good variation of this:
*I went to wash your jeans and found these earings in your coat! Why are you buying earings for people?! Who is she?!?!*
*She is you, it is your birthday on Friday. I hope you washed the jeans on cold, or the dye will run*
Wowza.
If I found earrings, I'd automatically assume they were for me.
Even if they were on top of a cinema self-service machine?
I think she just genuinely forgot it was her birthday in a few days
and was having a bit of a shit time at work/pissed off she felt I expected her to wash my jeans. Stress does funny things to people.
Meo
If I bought earrings, they'd be for you.
I went to clean your car and found these emails on your laptop
Variation
Best friend's wife found a note written by a stripper on the stag do (a souvenir rather than a contact thing- he was humiliated on stage).
So she set about winding my mate up by saying there's been a telephone call on the house phone from (name from the card) and enjoyed watching my mate panic and shit himself that the stripper was stalking him.
when i went to coachella this year
i spent the whole time hanging out with these three people i met there, a couple and another guy.
spent most of my time talking to the girl, cos i had more in common with her, still in touch with her now.
the couple broke up a few weeks later and my friend told me last night that her now-ex had been sending her rage-filled weird jealous texts about me. who they'd both hung out with for a couple of days. months previously. which felt very weird.
anyway, i think my point is that couples need to communicate about what bothers them in issues like jealousy, and each side has to work out what they're comfortable with, where the lines are.
totally this^ about the last part
People are fucking mental.
totally this^ about people being fucking mental
Jealousy is a horrible emotion and 95% of the time it is just caused by insecurity.
.
I'm jealous of everyone.
Especially of DiSers with their good looks, relationshops, thousands of pounds in savings and £250 coats. Should stop posting really, every time I come on here I get so raj.
you are in a band tho
well jel of that
That's envy, I bet.
Christ, we all get envy! But jealousy's a totally different thing.
oh?
Envy is the ability to look at something somebody else has
whether it be a material tangible thing, or a qulaity that they possess, and to do a btrief measuring up against yourself, find yourself lacking and wish that you had what that person had, but WITHOUT YOU TURNING INTO A FUCKING BAMPOT ABOUT IT.
With envy, you can acknowledge and maybe even aspire. With jealousy, you feel on the back foot and possibly scared.
So yeah, envy is saying- ooh hge has that. I would like ot have that. Boo.
Jelaousy is saying- oh my god, if I don't get what he has and possibly better, then I'm going to suffer hugely in life/ lose things or people i love.
Jealousy in this case in usually more mental like
omg look at what he's got, what a fucking dickhead, I hate him, I really want that but I haven't got that so I hate him because he's got that *mental mental mental*
Jealousy makes you nasty
oh right then think i fall into the envy catagory
dont suffer too badly
but i do have a keen sense for sniffing out something not quite right that has served me well in a few relationships...intuition has yet to fail me!
I've had Jealous Guy in my head for the last half an hour.
I'm not unhappy about it.
If it's the, SUPERIOR, Bryan Ferry version then you're fine.
zzzzzzz.....
He also did the best version of A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall
Oddly, prior to Jealous Guy, I've been singing Love is the Drug all day.
Incidently, no. No it wasn't.
Nobody's perfect.
I like that this has ciome up under your post.
Did Nick say hello to you for me on Saturday? Apparently he was supposed to.
Nope. The bastard.
tell him we're going to set fire to his face when we see him
I am pretty good at surfing I guess
fix
I know a girl who tries to make her boyfriend jealous by...
going on dates. The best thing is it doesn't work.
you keep telling yourself that son.
hahaha
Imagine making awkward small talk with someone all evening and then being greeted when you get home with "How was your date, love? Put the kettle on and tell us all about it."
Never get jealous when I'm actually with someone, that shit's crazy yo.
I do (or more accurately, did) used to get mad jelz of guys who got with girls I fancied. Usually when it was friends.
That Joey's such a cunt
Mahone?
Bit harsh. He has a habit of ignoring people in toilets, but apart from that he's a great bunch o' lad.
Haaawwwwt girlfriend too
?
Thought he was still going out with Roz
:'D
Oh, BURN. She's going to kill you.
not the WORST habit, all things considered
I only asked if he wanted to freshen up, for fuck's sake.
:D
there is a film with wiley wiggins in it, the whole film is about him cheating once with a girl.
at the end, very subtly, his girlfriend finds an empty condom packet on the floor in the bathroom and a tear rills down her cheek. and the film ends. HANDLED.
That's R Kelly - Trapped in the Closet
Sorry, Thanks!
I like that film a lot
Wiggins and Bujalski is such a dream team
imagine Bradley Wiggins in a mumblecore film
just imagine it.
It's funny, I can handle it when a guy gets jealous
it's usually more angry and temper tantrum like.
Girls on the other hand when jealous get manipulative and nasty and a lot more hurtful.
protip: she WAS sleeping with that guy
dumbass