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One of mine keeps checking in at work on Facebook with comments like 'Am at work lol'. He's 46 years old.
You go now.
a life event someone had added to their facebook timeline last night which read simply "was legally declared blind november 2012"
i know that's not about my colleagues, most are ok apart from the girl who is permanently stressed despite having a very easy job in the grand scheme of things and the girl who laughs after every single sentence nomatter the context
nice girl.. think she was shy/nervous. got a bit grating though..
It's not a problem until you notice it and then it drives me fucking spare. I think we counted how many times he laughed on a 3 min call once and it was about 20. I think I used to do it, it's a nervous thing really. Obviously I'm pretty well adjusted now though, cheers
still annoying as fuck though, might put eyedrops in her tea by way of revenge
me saying 'dont be nervous!' after the 15th titter isnt going to make her feel at ease :/
eyedrops it is!
He laughs really really loudly (at nothing) and usually either claps his hands or bangs his hand on the desk. Had no idea people actually did that in real life.
shouldn't be using ''LOL''. Just doesnt seem right
Too my left is Luke. He has the same name as me and is the same age as me and shares lots of interests with me (he is not a mirror) except he likes FOOTBALL and I like VIDEOGAMES but we both love film, music etc
In front of me is a guy that is a super try hard, really annoying, can't speak properly (he said he was 'being general' when he meant 'being generous' earlier) and he really wants to progress, I hate him.
The rest are a mix but mainly fine. There are the lads and the girls that they constantly try and flirt with who put up with it which bewilders me a little because the former are really crass and the latter aren't.
Then there is a guy who goes to Army cadets and bullshits with such a degree of proficiency that he puts SilkySkillz to shame. He's done everything in the army even though he technically isn't allowed to because of his rank, has drank 36 pints in one day once and he is a massive grade A cunt.
I could not deal with that. This place is polite and PC without being daft about it. Casual racism would drive me insane
used to claim he was "not even that rascist" and that the problem as far as he could see it was that "they make you rascist". I hate it when people make me be rascist.
i'm guessing a kitchen
sexual harrasment law
o_o how can you end that with 'etc' i need more details?
Are absolutely terrific. Great at their jobs, and top fun to banter around with
The people were at war with life,
Often causing trouble and strife
The hate, the games the trouble feared
Was often thought of by the old dears
The fears of the people were often found
Not in any normal shape or sound
The silent trouble was causing death
Until the fear was not left
A Saturday night was a time to worry
People moving in a hurry
The hurry caused the problems often
Never ever being forgotten
Words came trying,
To change forgotten times
But to late to stop,
The guns and knives
The guns and knives
People realising they needed,
To change the times
To change the times would
Take a lot,
All the guns and shooting
Hard to be forgot
A while would pass
To spread the word
To spread the facts
That everyone years ago heard
Moving back to better times
People getting on with better quality lives,
Weapons would then not be the accessory of the peasent
People moving on to be far more pleasant
The child was born
With feelings inside
Not knowing that it
Had a little something to hide
Hide the feelings the child therefore did
Often telling a mighty big fib
This is something that often happened
Until the childs personal tentions slackened
Slackened it did, till the
The child still thinking,
They did not have a clue
A clue oh yes they did now no
Causing emotions to go to and throw
The child no longer knowing what to do
Because oh yes they all now knew
To do it did
Know going to live wild and free
A last being able to give
A smile of glee
Pros: makes the toast
T hates everyone, because at over 30 he's not earning very much despite 5 years' hard work at the company. People get promoted over him and now he's just an angry shell of a man.
P is French, and after three years of casual racism managed to get a deal working from home. He seems happier now.
G works harder than anyone and is underpaid. I know i make the same as him in this company which is mental as he's a) awesome and b) he's my boss. But there you go. I hope he gets promoted further soon.
D is brighter than everyone in the building and has four successful businesses he's secretly working on.
N got bored of the jokes about her northern accent and has quit
I am leaving.
I have a colleague that connects its powerful speakers to his laptop and use the google translate "voice" to speak with us.
Imagine what it is to be working in a large openspace and suddenly you hear the voice of a sensual woman screaming: "Tony, send me your last month sales report... Thanks.".
Especially any of them who might be reading this.
My boss came in 2 hours later. First thing the guy says to him, loudly over the office was 'NICK WAS 3 MINUTES LATE THIS MORNING SO I LOGGED HIM ON, THAT'S WHY MY REPORT IS LATE'.
and he just said in a sad quiet voice 'sorry'.
I work with a team of PHP developers. They are so brainy it's scary but I feel so sorry for them when they have to work with other people on non-programming related tasks. They process solutions in their heads sooo quickly, so it's almost an automatic...that won't work, that won't work, nor that, ah that will...do this. But the rest of us divs never take their word for it and we end up taking up loads of time trying our all the solutions they by-passed only to find out they were right all along! Bless them, they must get so frustrated like, 'I made it really easy for you...I told you what to do'
and on her post-it notes she or someone has drawn a swastika. I was going to mention it but then couldn't find a way to work it into the conversation, especially if she didn't draw it...
some of them are good or just alright really nothing to report
one of them always looks for validation and can't do her job when the littlest thing is worrying her so that's annoying. i only do one shift a week with her but it's bad having to do her work as well as mine.
one guy who works in a different department always hangs around where the girls are after shifts and stuff and tries to get them to go for drinks and sleep with him. and he's a sleazeball and he's having an affair with someone at work. we all know. his girlfriend and kids don't.
oh and theres this one girl that always hints she never asks for stuff when she wants it just hints and it gets right on my nerves
And for lunch she always eats smelly mackerel fillets. She used to have a black boyfriend while simultaneously voting for the BNP also. When I pointed out the conflict she laughed for what seemed like about 5 mins non-stop
Asked to borrow a tenner from my boss at the end of his job interview and she still hired
Claimed to have written a successful series of children's books but couldn't remember the names of said books
Claimed he used to be a stripper and would do stripper type dancing (without taking his clothes off) in the front of the shop
He would almost always drink from a fruit shoot bottle which smelled really weird, I don't even think it was alcohol
He lasted about a month and last we heard he was "living in the woods" with his dog Scooby. I hope he is okay & that last bit is just a rumour started by some twat.
stripper type dancing
Just now the HR Manager's sister called, not realising that the HR Manager was still on maternity leave. He almost had a melt down trying to work out how to go back to her and explain this.
but obsessed with pay grades and job descriptions. Theyre conciously rooting them out for young people who will do anything to keep their jobs and SHIT IS HITTING THE FAN. Capitalist created recession in action right there.
And get your employers to give their jobs to a capable, conscientious young individual (icouldwinarabbit from the internet)
I can get you a job. No probs. We have a 'recommendation' culture here.
Depends what this 'job' is. (Not really I have no morals).
Can you get me one in a few months? Ta.
if i refer you i think i get loads of money
We even have a regional office in Gateshead! Its all coming up rosy.
But they don't even interview people here!
If you're interested I'll keep you updated.
A1: decent guy, but talks in "funny voices" for too long at a time
A2: horrible. constantly slags off other people in the organisation who've been promoted over her. stresses me out so much with her utter misery
C: nice enough, likes to travel
O: super well dressed guy way older than me who works way harder than me but cos he started a week after me is still a temp whilst i've been perm for a year now :/
J: ex-poet, makes up quizes by reading wikipedia articles and just reformating statements into questions that no one could possibly answer eg "here's one: what percentage of water in the US is consumed as coffee in the usa. anyone? anyone? it's 80. fancy that"
G: nice, always says "alright chris?" in the same way every time we end up alone
E: temp, actress, bakes
?: new temp opposite me, super rude or maybe a bit autistic or both
R: plays in a gamelan orchestra. didn't invite me to join the office coffee sharing system
R2: the other guy in the office who gets records delivered all the time
T: plays in an indie electro band and likes good films and is a vvvv good manager in terms of letting me take days off etc but should probably manage me a bit more
J: boss, reminds me a bit of LLB
I just noticed you were talking about yourself is all
Prefer it to a windowless room of three.
It's alright. No dickheads - Which makes me think I'm the dickhead.
Football bores are absolutely minimal.
1 woman who says my brain isn't operating at its normal level today, or a similar phrase implying the same thing every day. news flash lady - your normal level is the below par one
she also talks about psychic hats & once threatened to punch me.
i think she lies about her age.
1 bloke - decent chap, i like him.
is patronised buy his manager a bit. they are like an old maried couple at times in that way. decent tase in films/ music etc, always recommending cool links/ films/ books etc
his manager - she went to the world cup final in 66, but wasnt that interested in it
nice enough, apart from way she treats nice bloke
has lots of rows with 1st woman above
lovely lady, very good with time off etc, very fair, great manager
other woman in team - the baby of the team at 29
fun, have a laugh with them. have really good argument emails about stuff with them
plus 1 part timer - another thoroughly decent woman. goes to football home & away, jives
good blend really.
constant source of amusement in the team.
A - nice enough and pretty hot
J - nice enough
C1 - boss, pretty nice, doesn't give a fuck, lets you get away with stuff because she's waiting on early retirement or some shit.
C2 - deputy boss, used to be dead nice, but had a temporary other post that she loved, so when she came back to our team, she became bitter and jaded.
J - a gigantic, idiotic, whinging super-bitch who is more male than female now. Also really ugly!
A - constantly moping, walks like the living dead, a major depression on everyone and stresses us all out because she's so miserable looking. Been off sick for six months - starting back next week, much to everyone's collective worry.
K - been doing A's job while she was off sick. Absolutely no problems here: really nice, pretty funny, we're always having secret chats via email about everyone else. Asked me out once a long time ago and that was a tad awkward for a while, but fine now.
C3 - an apprentice who's just started, but is super annoying and a massive know-it-all. Everything that's discussed, she suddenly has insight into and supreme knowledge of, but if you ask her to do anything she says 'I'VE NOT BEEN SHOWN THAT' in a really irritating voice. Also sits and stares at people while they're working.
But I'm the one who's always texting, looking at the internet, coming in late, and trying to do as little work as possible, so what can I say?
but I absolutely hate him. He's incredibly annoying and talks shit all the time. He also wears t-shirts saying things like 'FART NOW LOADING - 75%', 'GIVE BEER - HELP AN ALCOHOLIC' and 'I LIKE GIRLS THAT LIKE GIRLS'. He is 25.