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this thread is inspired by thewarn.
andyvine is fined by accident, mistaken for someone else, and over five series attempts to be put through to the correct member of the council customer services department to have the decision overturned.
WITH MODERATE CONSEQUENCES
Andyvine is travelling Europe but is constantly getting into dangerous (but hilarious) situations where many many people are hurt and/or die. But somehow, at the end of every episode, the phone rings at Andyvines mums house and she declares to the family 'ANDYS FINE!' and they all laugh oh ho ho
Andyvine has a vine that talks but only he can hear it. And he takes the vine everywhere and uses it to seduce the ladies (it never works)
This trusty vine *does* work
Also, I imagine whenever cat_race walks on set everyone would do a big cheer, like they do when a minor celebrity has a cameo in an American sitcom
Andy discovers that he is the long-lost brother of Tim Vine and Jeremy Vine. Now that they're together, they can begin their pilgrimage and they learn that their individual skills (fast-paced jokes, current affairs broadcasting, and forum membership) complement each other.
I'd put it on BBC1 at around 6:30pm on a Saturday night....and it would rival The Smee Comedy Workshop that would be on ITV1 at the same time.
and told him that she had the same surname so they might be related. He just went "oh" and walked off. Ever since then whenever she saw him on telly she just went "very rude man"
Pig herder Andy (played by Toby Anstis) is known for being a total bastard in the village. But when one special pig, Big Dan (played by Nicholas Lindhurst, befriends him, his life is changed forever.
Andyvine wakes up after a wild night on the tiles and soon discovers he can urinate expensive red wine. He starts on an adventure to find the cure to his disease but also market and sell the wine in the mean time.
BBC3 Tuesday 10pm.
Thick Of It-style comedy set in Ottoman-era Turkey.
Comedy set in a Manchester coal mine in 1923. Andyvine is the team leader for the worst coal mining team in the coal mining biz. In one episode, they find a cat down the mine. It moves into Andyvines hair.
comedic yet heartfelt series in which andyvine yearns deeply for the love of a good women, only to be snubbed with ever increasingly ridiculous excuses
Erectile dysfunction hilarity starring DiS user
late-night version of the above
Martin Clunes is a zombie with an elevator repair business.
period drama consisting entirely of cats dressed up in tiny corsets and pantaloons.
in a caravan?
desperately hoping to see this piece. WASN'T THERE!
I have his book though. Its ace.
as far as I know.
waiting to happen
Like Mr Magoo but wot with hearing instead of sight.
With hilarious consequences. Or not.
Charles Darwin and his oft-overlooked brother, Miriam Darwin, are transported to surf-rock era California, and form a band called EvoRUDEtion.
Starring Ian McShane as both brothers using green-screen
PO takes on yet another hampton. Maybe a French hampton.
IN fact- what the heck's a hampton?
Moker and his friend Steve Latte go into business by co-financing a coffee shop, which they call Mr Moker and Mr Latte's Fine Coffees.
Starring John Virgo and David Boreanz
Mild-mannered college lecturer (Keith) is repeatedly frustrated by his resemblance to a notorious and dangerous convict.
The second season would deal with a hardened convict (Keith) and his repeated frustration at being confused with a cuddly middle-class ponce.
medieval blacksmith mark shields makes shields for nobles while pondering the futility of war. in a recurring joke he is always 8 minutes late to work because of leaves on the bridleway.
starring leonard rossiter
Madonna, played by Kara Tointon, struggles with age.
Ant and Dec have just opened a vegetarian restaurant in Plymouth, committed to their no-meat life style. But when Italian girl Bruschetta walks into their lives (played by a heavily-tanned Sarah Dunn), will their resolve be quite so strong?
KiK tries to get up our of his chair and go for a walk. with hilarious consequences.
Kik builds a den in his toilet with all his needs. Several years supply of digestive biscuits, 25 back Issues of Nuts Magazine and more Newcastle Brown Ale than you could shake a stick at. However he gets too fat and his bumcheeks start to weld to the toilet seat and therefore is stuck.
Hit comedy set in Kansas. Monday nights, E4, 11:25pm.
Quite angry drunk and stoned man is rude about lots of women then gets shot by the FBI.
After waking up in a pub loo, a confused memoryless IT geek finds himself as the new pub bouncer, banning anyone who dares to cross him, often with violent consequences.
Brainy and well meaning IT geek continuously gets it wrong with chaotic and haphazard consequences, often, nay always, culminating with someone exclaiming "Oh Theo!" before the credits roll.
Geeky triplets Theo, Leo and Ne-yo Graham-Brown in rucksack-wearing, pub-shitting shenanigans
short lived jackass inspired series in which disser cocodaLOL is attacked by increasingly venomous reptiles
Fearless journalist and indie bedwetter was desperate for a new tenant...however, he certainly wasn't expecting it to be a theoretical subatomic particle! Madcap slapstick comedy, starring David Mitchell.
I enjoyed this.
After a terrible climbing accident, Verbal wakes up from a coma to find he can't think before he says things. He quickly loses his job after pointing out his female boss's mustache and his friends start to steer clear after he constantly insults them.
cat_race travels around the world talking to gang members, trying to get them to change their ways.
series cut short after the host is killed 3 minutes into the first episode.
Not the second half, obvs, but this would be excellent TV. c_r could be like the new Louis Theroux
you all fucking know i can help that's why
Theme tune: #WARN! [saxophone parping] WARN! WARN! WARN!# etc
featuring shucks as consumer affairs / skapunk expert
each week Brusma sleeps with one of his friends Mums, ends on a your mum joke that is more fact than fiction
Comedic reworking of I Claudius.
Imported, with bad subtitles
Evil Sean Adams eulogises for Pinball Fortress (RIP).
Angus Deaton hosts a show that asks; what will much loved DiS boarder brusma be like in 5 years?
Follow Silky's adventures on the London buses as he passes notes to strangers leading to unprotected sex. Starring Robin Askwith.
Popular board member decides to become a bedroom recluse in the hope of coding software for his new computer. Hilarity is few and far between.
Spin-off series titled VamOS shelved after poor reception.
dubstep aficionado Kenny Dope attempts to reverse the flagging fortunes of the Seagulls' reserve side. Fed on a diet of £5 bread and obscure vinyl, the journeymen reach 17th in the Isthmian 3rd division
Frustrated architect Mark E (marckee) is the owner of a cheap marquee hiring business. Every episode he provides the marquee for a different function but, against the wishes of the customer, adds more and more ridiculous architectural features to the marquee (with the help of his hapless assistant, meths) until it inevitably collapses on the astonished attendees. Then meths pulls a face.
Meths moves in with a really happy ghost.
Following the daily adventures of a workaholic lisp-stricken Parking Warden Laurel and Hardy Enthusiast.
A joint Spanish/German production finally reaches Blighty. Diser Jordan is desperately trying to raise funds for his record label - and selling his counterfeit framed photograph of an Archbishop seems his only way. But the question is: how will he sell it?!
Look out for special guest cat_race and his now famous punchline whenever jordan tries to sneakily sell him the picture: 'NEINTU'
cringing at the 'pay off' of the whole thing just made my entire face invert.
You're a monster.
CHILDREN'S SITCOM SET ON A PISSING MOON BASE
I think you're broken
Gareth is a lovely guy that likes to cook for all his friends. Unfortunately the massive UB40 fan ruins all his meals by using Reggae Reggae Sauce in EVERYTHING.
A unique mix between Come Dine With Me and Bodger and Badger, this culinary comedy will have you laughing all the way to lavatory.
I've lost it in the office. Tears, everywhere.
Tim Vincent plays a detective who opens a cafe in-
oh i can't be bothered.
starring meths as a renegade math teacher who challenges and inspires his students to think for themselves by abandoning the curriculum, instead opting to demonstrate the inherent limitations of pedagogy by having them debate apparently nonsensical topics constrained by completely arbitrary rules.
Farcical comedy set in a North London restaurant run by two hapless brothers.
Smee and his various male relatives compete for the attention of 30 single girls. No like-Smee, no light-Smee! Hosted by Paddy McGuinness
comedy set in a builders merchant where the Wza frequently loses his temper trying to explain the difference between concrete and cement to naive customers
Classic comedy duo the Smee brothers are living in a flat together...only to find that their new housemate is none other than sports broadcaster Steve Ryder! They take kindly to this at first, but as the veteran tv personality continues to show repeats of his grandstand specials and hours, hours of footage showing his immaculate hair. Will a cross-country, drug-fueled motorcycle holiday reconcile their differences?
Chalk and cheese housemate comedy. Smee want's nothing more than to watch TV but has to put up with a room-mate who insists on bringing strangers home for group sex.
Chalk and cheese housemate comedy. Smee want's nothing more than to watch TV but has to put up a room-mate who insists on having weed-fuelled reggae jams
A professional assassin takes a contract to eliminate French president Charles de Gaulle in a bid to retrieve his old passwords.
There's not enough chairs for the upcoming Smee Comedy Workshop. What will happen? Will they get another chair? Tune in to find out.
P.S They get another chair.
Vincent Kompany and his wife spend Christmas day playing the Gravy? game at Casa Smee. No hilarious consequences involved.
Bored office worker Robert McAdam spends his days atoning for the scripting errors found in his favourite music board social forum
After his band fails, megastar Darcy packs his bags and moves to London to pursue his dream of performing ballet at the Royal Opera House. But how will this relaxed jack-the-lad cope with the rough and tumble nature of the capital's hectic streets?
When a farmer learns that his livestock are dying from a rare form of sexual frustration, he drafts in a local girl with an unusual talent to cure the heard.
Contains disgusting scenes of a bovine nature.
A once charming man was transformed into a horrible, twisted and pale figure after years of sitting in a dark room and posting on a mildly popular music forum. Now out of the blue, he's been offered a trial at Newcastle United? Will his dreams come true, or will his insistence on calling Fabio Coloccini his 'precious' prove to be his downfall?
that whenever I tell a story, it sounds like a twee band's version of Get In the Van. So yeah, a sitcom like that.
Like if Victoria wood fronted black flag yo
takes me all of ten seconds to get rid of it with the board improvements. OH THE MINOR INCONVENIENCE
Because I have the biggest headache ever and it makes me want to cry.
After tricking duhbrained Fearne Cotton into thinking he's a fashionable Irish rock star, Balonz's scheme is rumbled when spanish racing driver (and avid follower of DiS) Fernando Alonso recognises him for what he is.
Starring Fearne Brittain and Fernando Torres
How about if I set it in Australia?
you won't believe the capers that -dan- gets involved in once he decides to make a living robbing drug dealers
DiSer takes law degree, majoring in TOP BANTS.
japes takes you on a journey through his life of sexual misfortune, and how his unlucky sexual endeavours with men caused him to become a cyclops.
Sequel to Meths' Elated Spirit
Take a look back on this heartfelt life of one DiSser and his quest to seal the deal with someone's mum, it's a comical journey into the past from his first post to the day he was finally banned.
JFC, you people.
fapps tries to organise a catholic only football league, with sectarian consequences!
After encountering (and refusing) the largest penis in London, an enterprising business-lady sees a gilt-edged opportunity to make money by renting it out to slack-fannied cougars.
With hilarious consequences.
extra points for ''slack-fannied cougars''
abandoned after the pilot episode.
girl with severe mental problems thinks shes a grey hound.
office-bound DiSer, dad and all-round good egg seems to have the world at his feet. But, he has a problem: he can't help himself from copying in triangle wall supports into his emails. At first it's a bit of a laugh, but as he continues to copy these structure-holders into increasingly banal excel-based emails, how long until they just collapse out of desperation? And what does Colin, the junior office line manager, have to say about it all?
DiS's FIRST EVER gay porno. Pre-condom classic features hot guys, mammoth cocks, and explosive fucking, and what Evil Sean Adams calls "one of the hottest group sex scenes in gay porn history."
technically it's a form of abuse, but ultimately the abuser comes across ineffectual, laughable and with small genitals.
Microsoft release a program allowing users to create their own fawning secretary-like thing instead of that bastard paperclip.
Follows the antics of a largely dysfunctional East Anglian family as they toil in the face of rising city centre rents.
Starring the now a-bit-infamous Marcofella trying to open up a new confectionary shop on Canvey Island, Essex. After 18 months of unemployment Channel 4 gives 10 no-hopers a bucket of cash to start their own business and the audiance is invited to watch them fail miserably so we can feel better about our own pitiful existences.
Will he rise from the flames like a wonderful man-angel, or will he go mental on mars bars and drive to Dundee in his bare feet, who knows? There's only one way to find out - TUNE THE FUCK IN.
Featuring that fucking annoying woman on channel 4 who tells everyone what to do to fix the economy.
Oh, and the theme is that song that goes 'sweets for my sweet, sugar for my honey....'
jesus my spelling is terrible today.
Everyone's favourite social bucaneer gets bitten by a vampire and must learn to live a life without daylight... oh wait.
culture clash comedy; NV stars as a staunch public sector worker transferred to predominantly muslim parisian suburb. will he be able to win the hearts of local residents whilst still enforcing french headwear policies?
Forza (Dawn French) and Borza (James Corden) are a bereaved Polish mother and son living in Manchester. Pops (introducing Eamon Holmes in his first dramatic role) has recently popped his Cracowian clogs due to heart disease brought about by chronic obesity. Forza and Borza make a pact to get fit and run the London Marathon for the British Heart Foundation. However, things aren't helped by the nonsensical advice they receive from their excitable fitness coach Ady Aichdee, more commonly known as 'The Cat'.
Can The Cat help the erstwhile Poles to get the proverbial cream? As long as he keeps them off of it, he might just have a chance...
follows me overr 24 hours. pretty dull, wopuldnt recommend really
John (Matthew Kelly) is a sick man. He is a spiteful man. Despite this, he runs a successful discount shoe store in Birmingham. And this is how he came to find himself in this position...
Following the demise of King Adora and Envy & Other Sins, John's small west-midlands indie promotions business 'Kipper Tie Productions' went down the pan. He even stopped posting cantankerous diatribes on internet messageboards. Needing to get himself out of a rut and make enough money to pay for his woodbines and Television X subscription, the wily old geezer clocked that there was no Shoe Zone in his local area and opened a discount footwear outlet in the premesis of an old Holland and Barrett. Following in the steps of 'Wellworths' and 'Llondis' he ripped off a well known high street chain calling his shop 'JD Trainers'. His USP was that he catered for the majority asian and caucasian communities in Birmingham, rather than simply modern black teenagers, like JD Sports. Despite this, he hired a young second generation Nigerian assistant, Tiny Tim (Tinie Tempah) to help him out at JD Trainers.
Over the next few months John witnessed a roaring trade, yet only paid Tim the minimum wage, which, with a large family to provide for, was simply not enough for Tim to get by on.
Following the liquidation of rival JJB Sports, John started raking it in like never before - soon Birmingham was a sea of Asics and Pony. Tim had to take some time off to care for his ailing mother (Floella Benjamin), but despite his new found wealth, John refused to give Tim paid leave, even though this was in direct contravention of statutory leave entitlement law.
With Christmas approaching, it was all Tim could do to stop himself crying as licked his dry lips while gazing at the forbidden Bernard Matthews drummers through the frosted window (keep the door shut while browsing FFS!) of the freezer compartment at the M&S garage on the Pershore Road. Instead he trudged to Llondis and spent his last £1.29 on a packet of Saxo Sage & Onion stuffing - to share between all 17 of his young siblings, and his sick mother.
The series opens with John being paid a visit by the ghost of footwear retail past (Dave Whelan), from whom he learns a valuable lesson (if you make loads of money, reward your staff and invest in saleable stock rather than spending it all on Mauro Boselli). Will John change his ways? Will he up Tim's hourly rate to the living wage of £7.45 recommended by Ed Miliband (Samuel L. Jackson)? Will (despite being a converted Sikh due to BBC policy of promoting minority faith), he show up on Christmas Day at Tim's flat with SOAWJO? Through the coming six weeks of this dark comedy (somewhere between Open All Hours, Black Books and, naturally, A Muppet's Christmas Carol) we shall find out...
Starring meths as an affluent jeweller who loses his business and turns to drugs, before entering a rehabilitation program where his sponsor is erstwhile gameshow host Richard O'Brien.