So, the few dates I've embarked on turned intimate of late.....and now I'm not so sure. I like the woman, we get on well, she makes me laugh, similar outlooks, except she's not a music nerd, nowhere near it in fact, she hardly knows anything, but should that matter? Bluntly put, clothes on I really like her, clothes off I'm not so sure. This will sound terrible and shallow but it does matter, doesn't it? You need to feel a phwoar factor with someone new rather than a "hmmm, that was OK, quite nice, but nothing special at all". What if bulgy bits and other stuff start putting you off? What then? Christ, I'm no perfect specimen but i do keep fit and trim and I like all that. What if new sex feels all awkward and not right? Carry on and live with just liking the person as a good companion and good company and a good laugh?
Last night after lights out but laying there awake til the alarm goes off, unable to sleep at all, thinking things over and over, wanting to just get away to my own place and routine comforts......except my place is a 2hr+ journey away (long distance - a whole new thread in itself)
I'm confused. One year after a failed 11 year relationship (plus a kid) and I'm still confused and unable to move on. What's it all about eh. Hang on and wait for someone more 'my type' or accept that at age 40 things will be a lot different, expectations lower, blah blah.
This will be a regreted post I reckon but to hell with it. My minds a runaway mess of emotions and it needs a break.