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Fuck you, chumps.
Still not seen one myself, the CUNTS
GO HANG YOUR TAIL IN COWSHIT, LESSER SPOTTED WOODPECKER
EAT FUCKING IRON SLAG, WATER PIPIT
DIE IN A WINDFARM, YOU FUCKING HAWFINCH DICKCHEESE
What is it with these Common fuckers? I had to go to fucking Italy to see a treecreeper and it was a SHORT FUCKING TOED one, Common Treecreeper is false advertising for a shit, shit bird
Should be renamed Stone Cold Fucking Impossible To See, Also A Bellend Et Demie
Sandwich Tern? Put you in my fucking sandwich and FEED YOU TO THE PIGS you CUNT
STUPID, STUPID NIGHTINGALE
as a Turtle Dove? WANK OFF YOU PONCE
makes me want to bury a young family in burnt sewage and shoot crossbows at them until they stop screaming
that's about it tbh
except to say that every Wood Sandpiper in the world had best shove its beak so far up its cloaca that it suffers fatal intestinal aneurysms, RIGHT FUCKING NOW
Red-Necked Phalarope, may thy wings fail and thy descent be swift, upon the windswept shores of Arran may thy final rest be found, you twazzock
I mean, your name just SAYS IT FUCKING ALL
Nor have I seen a Long-Eared Owl. I think they're both MADE UP
than when contemplating the sheer mind-scooping uselessness of a Whooper Swan. Fuck off
and much like the Woodcock, it doesn't need a great deal of embellishment. Both total cunts, mind
like the Dotterel and the Ptarmigan. Just...like, what the fuck man. What the fuck. Kill yourselves.
to stuff a somehow still-living Capercaillie with high explosives and then stomp that fucking detonator and laugh and laugh and laugh as feathers rained down
I can't mark either of you down for sure in my checklist coz it's ABSOLUTELY CHRIST-BUGGERING IMPOSSIBLE TO TELL YOU APART. Dear ornithologists who designated the Scottish Crossbill an independent species JUST SO BRITAIN WOULD HAVE JUST ONE PIFFLING ENDEMIC BIRD, you are GAPING ARSEHOLES and I hope you are already dead
yes, that's right
the motherfucking European Storm-Petrel
jesus christ will you check that fuckhead out, five or six inches long, dark-feathered, low-flying and spends its time out at fucking sea IMPOSSIBLE TO SPOT WITHOUT INFRARED AND A BIG FUCKING BOAT
you're WORSE THAN MANX SHEARWATERS and fuck me, I'm putting my back out saying that
GREAT GAY SHRIKES R GAY
Red-Backed Shrikes are merely DICKFESTIVALS
oh FUCK aren't shrikes TOSSERS, just like in the Animals of Farthing Wood animated TV series. TOSSERS and SHITBILLS
Crex Crex, the rare and haunted waif of the blown fields?
I hope it chokes.
but CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT NOISY SHITFORBRAINS CUNT CUUUUUNT
except that all of these total deviants are only getting forgiven as and when they appear, identifiably, in my field of vision. except the Temminck's Stint. you, my friend, will always be the prizest guntmuncher. peace.
and you're not just having a massive breakdown here
You're both off the list, congrats