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Why isn't this a thing?
Salt & vinegar batter!
but I'm not sure about a range of batters.
You can get those Young's/Birds Eye/Own Brand posh frozen fish that have various different batters on them. But I've never heard of it being done in a chip shop.
I am appalled. It is because of attitudes like your's that The North should cecede. What's next? Flavoured water?