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need to cross reference against that other thread
would like one at some point, bit scared of the concept tho. I don't really want teenagers, but i guess you are pretty attached to them by then.
daughter (15) son (13).
great bunch of lads. You'd like them.
all the girls i know say being a teenage girl was really shit
and I am now a semi-moody adult. It depends from person to person I guess.
My kids aren't especially mood-swingy.
Pros: great company, same interests as me, polite, smart
Cons: if they've got issues, you can't just make it all better with a cuddle like when they were toddlers. Been though the self-harm scare, bullying, negative body image. That shit makes me sadder than anything.
you're like a super hero. how the fuck
if it was that difficult, people wouldn't bother.
that's the kind of stuff that i dread for the future if i have kids.
my own parent's weren't particularly good at guiding me through my teen years, i'm not sure if I have any idea of how to deal with these issues if they come up. I guess you just do your best?
years of taking care of the child and bringing them up will put you in good stead when those kind of things arise
from my own (possibly unreliable) memories my folks were great when i was a nipper, and then it kind of went a bit, not wrong, but, well, LESS GOOD, when i was a teen. Like they just didn't really know how to guide us. I'm kind-of determined to not do the same but also not sure i have the skills tonot make the same mistakes. y'know?
Overall they were jolly good child raisers.
the other hard part is letting go a bit and giving them space. My wife finds this really hard. You spend so long controlling everything about their environment it's hard to let go.
But this is why teenagers are designed to be dicks, cos they have to fight their way out of your control and find their own life, as parents aren't very good at letting it happen naturally.
we've contributed to their insecurities etc too.
In the same way you can raise enormously self-confident kids who are selfish douches, you can also raise sensitive, polite kids who have to fight against self-doubt.
You can't win 100% - people are complicated and how they were raised contributed enormously.
Hope i can be one of them one day.
i probably worry about it a bit too much.
Seems like a lot of hard work. Ahm oot.
bit needy pal.
Sorry for the self indulgence!!
(i realise that by posting this, i may draw more attention to it...but fuckin hell...)
IGNORE ME PLEASE
I of course jest. Congratulations RR :)
upcoming 2nd kid : )
A daughter who is 7.
man, she's an angel 99% of the time. That said the little cow woke up 3 times a night for the first 10 months of her life which of course took it's toll. This is the enjoyable bit before it all goes horribly wrong again in a few years no doubt.
and then I think of all of things I used to get up to as a teenager and I know I couldn't put myself through all that as a mother.
I also tend to pick incredibly laid back men to go out with so I reckon it would be a constant battle and I'd be the baddy all the time (much like my own mother)
I could never give birth. I want to adopt a baby and call her Lilly and we can live like Cam and Mitch.
i used to be terrified of it (and more specifically, the pregnanc/ growth thing itself), but the more I see my friends (not like, in the flesh) give birth, the more envious I am of them, growing a life inside them and bringing it into the world.
I'd also like to get off my tits on gas and air and poo myuself indiscriminately. And I'd get a designer vagina while they were stitching me up (although I hope I wouldn't need stitiched because I'd rub olive oil into my perineum three times a day during pregnancy to make it supple and stretchy, like an elastic band.)
I get creeped out by both the living thing growing inside me (thats REALLY weird when you think about it) and it would really hurt and I have a very very low pain threshold. I can't even handle having a big poo.
I'd be worried they'd go 'ohh no we're all out of gas and air' and i'd go 'well this ain't happening then'
hevaily pregnant with twins (her first kids). she's so anxious about everything. She is HUGE. It's quite unlike a single pregnancy. There's a total party going on in her gut! I say an arm or a leg jut out the other day. It was kind of cool.
but my wife was always quite philosophical about the pain of child-birth and it being part of a positive process etc.
but assuing a straightforward birth, there's no reason why, if you trust your body, it can't sdo what it needs ot do. It's why we make our own endorphins and pain-fighting hormones.
(I'll still probably say- fuck that, gimmee an epidural.)
Ok, Ive decided. I'm having a baby. Year after next :)
then i'll have one
I can't handle pain. I don't trust my body. It won't work.
I mean, she's not a wuss at the dentists like I am.
Hard pushed to think of another way of knowing, aside from going to her work and smacking in the head with a rake.
lets say 3. not at the same time, though.
if you had a kid now, you'd be pension age when it was 21.
I'm 37, so doing the maths....37 + 21 = not pension age. but yeah, need to get my skates on
1974. a great year.
Would like to.
but apparently it's really difficult unless you're Mr and Mrs Joe Banal
not quite so many hoops to jump through. the money is OK aswell, if that's your bag.
and this is a massive PLUS, you'll really be doing an amazing thing for some little bastard who's probably (definitely) had a really miserable life.
I'd like to do it a lot, really. It's just whether I'd be able to cope with a severely behaviourally challenged child. I probably will be able to some day.
big respect fro people who do it - but it's not for me at all.
i'm amazed that people do it.
and probably in ten years time it'll be much easier still.
If and when someone I like decides they want to be in a long-term relationship with me, I'd definitely think about it.
would be quite natural to be freaked out by that, tbf.
I'd like some though. I think I'm ready.
one. a female. 6 months.
completely ballsed that gag up up. tits.
...well, it's pretty gross and invasive.
I've sold mine since the last time. Kind of regret it now.
we're married now