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Who's watching this then? The invisible man?
Might as well throw a pound coin out the window.
In response to "where's mum?". Every bloody time.
But I don't see anyone else laughing, do you?
Says it at least twice whenever he's behind the wheel for more than 30 mins.
(tbf, this one's a mum-ism)
Every time he sees a thistle.
Growing up in Scotland was tough.
'As one onion said to another - that's shallot'
Still uproariously funny after 40 years....
Me: And he said...
Pops: Andy? What was Andy doing there?
My dad thought it was HILARIOUS to tell me when I had just started my period that the fox had ripped open the bin bag and dragged them up the street.
WELL FUNNY DAD.
Oh no. Mentally I have a fox ripping open a womb. Oh dear.
I think I get my humour from my Dad :/ My Mum doesn't think we're funny. But then you've seen my Mum's humour.
but he turns the tv up really really loud/puts on subtitles if I say one word to my mum whilst he's watching tv
I love how similar our parents are.
Fucking hate people who start talking while I'm watching television.
My Dad says 'Aww what did Will do to them'. LULZ
because our cat is called Will. Sometimes he covers the cat's ears.
This is a classic in which my response was 'I don't know, you were there, was I?'
He'll say: "Your food is getting cold!!" and think that he's hilarious.
Is this a dadism? I've made the point that I tend to eat my food as soon as it is served, thus making premature cooling unlikely, but he doesn't care.
I've also forwarded this to my brother so he can study up.
Me: How Long's Dinner?
Dad: ... about 9 inches..
Voice on phone: 'Good afternoon Jane speaking'
Dad: 'Oh hello Jane Speaking, how are you?'
He thinks it's well funny, I think it's funny because he thinks it's funny. Golden.
(you're standing in front of the television)
whenever he has to carry something
everytime i was going out as a teenager, if there was a girl with us he would wink at her whilst saying it.
Make sure you lock up properly.
Be careful when you cross the road.
Have you cleaned your teeth?
Did you wash your hands?