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she was a few years above me. one of the older kids while i was one of the youngest. total babe, very popular. i remember one specific incident where i was sat in the hall at lunch time, on my own (i had very few friends at that age) i was reading in the corner of the hall (prime spot during lunch), discworld or something else awful. and her and two of her friends came over and sat down around me and started talking to me because they knew i was scared of girls. obviously i got scared and ran away and they started laughing because they knew they had won the psychological game and secured the prime seating environment.
also one time a girl asked me to marry her (totally different girl) i was well scared and ran off and everyone laughed!!!
i forgive them both though.
but I feel what it tells us about Anna Friel is true.
being young was hard. way harder than now i can think properly
I have a ballin' collection of shoes. #overcompensatingforchildhoodtrauma
You should sell your story to the Daily Mail.
so i can't put myself in her bad books
but suspect she's a total dick.
she may well be different now. dunno.
I always thought she looks a bit pig-faced
so if she hadn't been a cockerney and she'd been from Ooooooldham you would have got a small child to fight your battles with 16 yr old Anna Friel for you? Your web of lies is falling apart
to be fair though, lily is probably tougher than me but yes, she would still have been at primary school at the time
Anna Friel's 36.
are you telling porkies again?
and there isn't that much gap between us anyway. i'm november 1980 she is (according to wiki) july 1976. totally at crompton house CoE at the same time
being very pale i had to have fake tan put on. i put on too much and resembled an oompa-loompa. I was 15 and unpopular enough at school as it was.
first year of college
had to go hairdressers
hit my head on a fancy looking chair. looked a bit of a tit.
i wasn't swooning over him or anything, it was just really hot
That was meant for the wrestling leg break thread.
Bit of a manic depressive fuck-up/attention-hungry idiot/complicated mixture of the two (delete according to your opinion on such matters). He came to work and spent the morning kicking off with his bank on the phone and in person about why his account was empty, and they managed to work out it was taken on-line.
As his memory returned it transpired he's actually got drunk, decided to kill himself, gambled all his money on poker-sites and passed out.
We had an "alternative" christmas play at primary school, and they made me be the announcer for each scene on my own wearing just a hula grass skirt and flowers around my neck and do a little dance on each one in front of every kid and parent there. Like 300 people. The end song was singing "mummy, mummy, mummy" to a weird egyptian version of "money, money, money" by abba while pranicng around like a cat
Im sure of it
at a Cub Scouts' service. I was wearing my Cubs uniform - grey shorts, grey socks.
i must have successfully repressed it because i can't think of anything
and I was dancing on some steps, in front of a load of people. I was really going for it and after a while I decided to sit down and take a break.
When I sat down I sat directly on top of the person sitting on the step behind me's beer bottle.
I kind of painfully bounced off it.
I could have dropped through the floor.
Another time; at the same club: There was a tall guy who was going really apeshit on the upper dance floor. A really mental track came in and built up, then the beat dropped and everyone went mad. The tall guy went so mental that he pulled half the suspended ceiling down. It was hilarious.
Honestly, doctor, I just went to sit down and there happened to be a beer bottle on the step/chair/bathroom floor at just the wrong (right?) angle.
**avoids eye contact**
but this one time, one of the arm straps on my heavy book-laden rucksack broke, and my bag swung out towards a passing middle-aged lady's big, fluffy golden retriever, who got scared, leapt out of the way and pulled her with it.
she shrieked a bit and regarded me with a look somewhere between surprise and outright terror.
stuck with me for ages, that.
threw up on myself as my mate refused to move to allow to vomit anywhere else, spent the whole day smelling of sick and having people being nobs to me
Though one of the many involved me at age 16 wearing my first thong. I went to a movie with a group of friends, including a boy I had the biggest crush on. It's the 90s, I am wearing white platform baby doll shoes and a new dress. It's been raining. We make our way towards the escalator, which will take us down to the movie hall, when I slip on the wet floor, flying forward and landing in an almost belly flop kind of thud on the floor. In my winded, pained moment I haven't noticed that my dress as plopped up over my back revealing my very white bum cheeks (Thanks, of course, to my new 'Shouldn't have bothered' knickers) My best mate in a panic and an attempt to recover what dignity I have left, sits on my protruding arse like a comfy cushion.
but didn't you also hide when your housemate was knocking on the door?
or it could have been someone else. i'm not sure
he sounded really angry. As if i'm gonna answer the door to someone that angry.
2 stick out
1. Aged 19 my then gf's mum walking into her bedroom with her 80 year old neighbour to use her photo printer to discover me licking her daughter's voluptuous breasts. Further misfortune caused by it being the first time it had happened so I was saying something stupid like *I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M FINALLY SUCKING YOUR MASSIVE TITS!*. So embarrassed I rolled off the side of the bed and hid under it for about 2 hours
At my birthday FA Cup final/Eurovision BBQ last year I was hammered and having a competition with joeymahone's gf to see who could lob the many accumulated glass bottles the furtherest out of the garden and into the communcal green area. Lady a few doors down came out and shouted at us. Battered, I thought it hilarious. Running round the next morning hungover to high hell picking up the bottles whilst trying not to puke, violent maroon in the face in shame was less fun. I had to walk past their door and front window to get in and out of my flat. I ran past every morning and night for about a month
vanishing while they watch. but then you just staying there for a couple of hours anyway
Had to psyche myself up
when i was not even in the driver's seat.
To explain - we were parked up by a newsagent near their house. mrs ccb's dad pops into the newsagent; i'm in the passenger seat; mrs ccb and her mum are in the back seat. it's raining. rain is coming in through the electric windows. i lean over to turn the key to activate the windows. i turn it too far, turning on the ignition. the car is in first gear and lurches / stalls into the vintage VW beetle in front of it.
first boyfriend used to stay at my mum's with me on breaks from uni, when he was leaving to go back one morning he slipped a note under my pillow telling me the ten dirty things he was going to do to me upon his return.
i, blissfully unaware, went to work, and when i came home learned the cat had taken a pee on my bed and mum had changed the sheets, leaving the note neatly folded on top of my pillow.
we never spoke of it, but it still makes me want to crawl into a ball and cry.
make a cat pee on your bed?
i don't even want to think about it
the cat probably peed in disgust
then to hide under the bed when your mum and elderly neighbour enter the room, just as he planned?
my mum found my vibrator in my drawer when she was tidying up and sorting through them.
I came home to find it neatly sitting on top of a pile of clothes in the drawer. :/
She then proceeded to give me the conversation about 'how masturbation was totally normal, and even she.... MUM SHUT UP
You're going to Hell
One involving an ex-girlfriend and photos and her family and stuff.
Rules are rules.
The wounds are still too raw.
The teacher put us all into pairs and I ended up with someone equally as shy as me, supposed to come up with a scene involving a parent and their naughty child, didn't end up coming up with anything because we were both hopeless and didn't want to take charge of the situation, got asked to perform it infront of the class, didn't accept "we didn't really come up with anything" and improvised something nonsensical and at one point I shouted a name as if I'd invented a third, invisible character. Hope that teacher's dead now. Fucking bitch.
Me pretending it was 'a virus'
had to do a speaking thing describing what we'd done on work experience for GCSE english and i thought i'd be able to improvise it. spoke for about 20 seconds and it came out all garbled and weird and then i just went 'that's it' and went back to my seat. blushing just typing this
Wasn't sure what had occurred so I...
...so I put my hand down my pants to check.
It was poop.
My best friend (who is still one of my best friends) witnessed the entire debacle. God bless him for never mentioning it.
now I go lazy style if there's even the shadow of a potential o-ring failure/
into water, not death. Nothing incentives you to jump more than realising everyone will know you've pooed.
Another time, I stayed round a gf's house. Started sleep walking and tried to get in to her nan's bed.
but most recently I was at the Apple Store having one of the geniuses look at my laptop as it wasn't backing up properly. He determined that it wasn't my laptop but instead the external hard drive. He then opens Safari to show me an online cloud service where I can back up my laptop. The embarrassing thing? The last window I'd had open in Safari was a artsy sexy Tumblr blog. I grabbed my laptop from him and he laughed. I'm sure he'd seen worse but wow. Mortifying.
im really used to making a wally out of myself.
It was my grandas funeral, and we were all gathered in the room, whilst the coffin was still open, (just before they closed it) saying our goodbyes.
My granny was obviously last to say something before they closed the coffin. The room was silent, everyone crying and in shock.
Meanwhile... my ex was standing next to me, and went to console me by putting his arm around me... But as he done this, he whacked a massive lamp off a table and it went flying, crashing into the wall.
It was just such a tense quiet moment that i imagine this would stick out as an embarrassing story for him.
My family were okay about it. It was kind of funny to be honest.
Did you realise it was him immediately?
At university there was this girl in one of my classes that I had a massive crush on but had never spoken to.
One morning at the bus stop, the bus was coming so I picked up my bag and slung it over my shoulder. It was heavy, full of books. The girl was standing right behind me, and as I swung the bag, its weight tipped me backwards and it caught her full in the face, knocking her into the gutter. Buckle made a small wound on her cheek & everything. Then we got on the bus together.
I guess it provided an opportunity for me to speak to her at last, but she was a real cow about it.
Had to give a speech, and decided beforehand that I wouldn't prepare anything but just say a few impromptu words, off the cuff and from the heart as it were.
There were 400 people and I choked. It was a nightmare.
and somehow found pictures my long distance girlfriend at the time had sent :/ it was mortifying and i don't think they ever quite saw eye to eye after that.