one of my favourite DiSsers sent me this. thanks chickenbones.
basically this woman wrote this book about optimists and pessimists and found out that although optimistic people only 'feel' like they have more control (obviously there is actually no difference) it can lead to health benefits and being more persistent when it comes to the things you work at in life. she also basically says that you can choose to feel however you want to and that you can train your brain into thinking certain ways and that, over time, the way you think will begin to reinforce itself.
this is exactly like just pretending to be confident if you are not confident. just go out there and act like a confident person would. you'll see it's not so bad after all and then, well who knows.
i'm glad you all are coming round to my way of thinking now :)