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A bird in the hand is worth a few pence maybe, depending on the bird.
teach a man to fish and he'll get bogged down in rows about quotas
might cause worm holes, might be sewn at the speed of light, might be best walked off, science simply doesn't have the answers yet.
All work and no play makes Johnny a good Kalvinist
You have a penny but wash your hands.
will probably become quite boring and predictable, vary it up with an orange or banana
Go instead where there is no path and incur the wrath of the National Trust.
boils at the same speed as an unwatched pot but time may seem to go slower since watching a kettle is essentially a boring activity. By the same token, if you leave the room and forget about it, you'll have to come back in and put the kettle back on to reheat it anyway. Anyway, where's my fucking tea?
Yeah you're looking at a book mate.
Before you judge a man, try walking a mile in his shoes... At least that way you'll be a mile away and you'll have his shoes.
unless you're in a film, in which case you will inevitably be killed by some kind of criminal organisation who want their briefcase back. Or your nuts housemate.
avoid any awkward visits from social services.
unless it's non-fiction and the cover effectively summarises its contents.
All day long you'll have people calling you a tramp.
as the skill really wouldn't be of any practical use to her. And it's quite self-explanatory.
but yet doesn't go down very well when someone tells you they have a serious disease.
is an indication of incompetence and is actually quite disrespectful of other people's time and own problems.
because it doesn't exist.
but may not exist
are probably in negative equity. Who'd buy a glass house in this market?
its deaf (or dead..)
Is a pretty good debut. Shame they didn't go on to do anything of much note afterwards.