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I can't really think of any arguments against it.
and you're their carer
and they're proper grown ups with proper emotions.
new of Montreal album confirmed
Especially after 4 years away from home. Honestly making me feel insanely low at the moment.
So yeah, great times! Free meals! etc. etc.
Commuting to and from London every day. Spending over an hour travelling knowing I'm going back to my parents house is soul destroying.
but I've annoyingly gotten really comfortable being at home again and I like it and oh god moving out again feels like a massive task that I'll probably keeping putting off for ages oh god.
Not up to your usual standard
I hear you
aka: shagging in the vestibule area.
and whilst its nice to have food cooked for you, stuff done, have a cheaper lifestlye, I'm 22, I don't want my mum doing that (I do but I shouldnt)
Also the lack of privacy/having to explain what you're doing constantly etc is unbearable
Think about it from your parents' point of view. They've raised, fed and clothed you for almost two decades and are probably sick of the sight of you. Hearing you plod down the stairs in the morning or slamming the front door when you get home from work or uni probably makes them think of the sound of nails being hammered into their own coffin.
Let your parents enjoy their autumn years and piss off somewhere else.
is completely stupid and should not be done
i once had a naked girl in my bed and couldn't do a thing about it
Moved out the same day.
those paper walls always confuse the white chicks
it's really quiet
and live with my parents. you're just not doing it right.
anyway, as much as i am desperate to get out of my parents house (i look at gumtree flatshares and sigh on a weekly basis), i'd much rather not be in crippling debt. If y'all gots a problem with that, you can eat my farts.
the whores thing, i can imagine that would be tough
if your family are mormons.
wrong with it if you're unemployed and have nowehere else to go or are saving up the money to move out on your own. I just can't imagine anyone being past the age of 18 and actually wanting to live with his or her parents. I lived with mine for about six months when I was 23 because of unemployment. I couldn't get out of their house fast enough.
I technically do this, but I'm at home an average of one day a week because I work away so it doesn't make financial sense to move. I was considering moving a while back, but then work said I'd be spending most of the rest of this year away so it didn't seem worth it paying rent somewhere I'd never be. Can't do this forever though.
whilst my mum's watching Corrie can I?
And pretty much all of the (sensible) suggestions in this thread so far...
But have enough pride to make it a temporary situation
Not ready to move in with my boyf full time just yet and it doesn't make sense to pay for rent on a flat when I'd only be there 2 nights a week.
My parents are okayish to live with but they live in zone 6 and they keep letting cats live in my room and there are hairs everywhere. Kinda pisses me off. They pick me up from the station sometimes as well which is a bonus.
Its not ALL bad but I can't do it for more than this year. I need me own place and to be able to play music out loud (not allowed) and to sleep in the same bed as my boyf (also not allowed).
I think if you're over 18 (you are , right?) that shouldn't even be an issue. Although religion etc... ?
Its just the way my parents are. Not religious at all, just a NOT UNDER MY ROOF mentality.
When you're older and have your own house and they come to visit you should force them to sleep in different rooms.
I'm now intrigued a to what other arbitrary rules meowington's dad insists upon.
and SEE other people have this same prob. I guess its just they wouldn't like to think of me in there getting fucked whilst they're in the next room, which is understandable. I'd be the same way about my kids. I'm 23, only ever had long term boyfriends but don't think its a massive issue as I'm not some teenager who can't go stay elsewhere to sleep next to my boyfriend. I don't like having people over anyway unless my parents are on holiday (which is when they encourage my boyfriend to come over) so I've never been pissed off about it. Its just normal.
which was a bit odd.
it's embarrassing more than anything else.
I think they are just as weirded about me having sex as I am about them having it. Which is fair.
yeh....that is a wee bit weird. Could understand it if you were a teenager probably.
Not your house, not your rules.
Not sharing a bed isn't a huge deal. I guess it can reach a point where it's daft (like if you've been seeing each other for bloody ages or liver together usually), but people are funny about sex and especially funny about sex and their (GROWN UP, CONSENTING) children. Never resented being directed towards a separate bed, never felt like challenging other people's sensibilities on the matter.
When its my house, I can sleep in a bed with whoever I want. When its theirs, and they don't want me to, I'm not going to disobey them or get shitty with them because of it. They obviously have a reason behind it - I've never asked because I don't really have to. Its the way I've been brought up and if its ridiculous to respect my parents in their own house that they've paid for us to live in for 25 years, then so be it. I don't care.
Do you live in the future?
There's also little or no stigma attached to it in the vast majority of cultures / countries. Not sure why it's such a big deal here...
reason being got offered a good job just round the corner from theirs, and figured i could live there for a while to save money for a deposit on a house or some shizzle. we get on fine. nae bother.
I don't think you're telling the truth.
£0 in the mortgage deposit fund.
Two good friends of mine, same age as me, moved back into the parental home after graduating and have stayed there since. Each has about £10-15k in the bank despite earning either the same or only slightly more than me.
There are no winners, only different kinds of losers.
ANYWAY I just went away for a wedding and stayed in a flat with my brother & parents and my parents continually went nuts because I hadn't tidied my room. FFSSSSS
Also I know someone who is 48, lives with his Mam and still gets £10 pocket money a week off her despite having a job. And he fucking spends it. At least save it up for a mampresent you twat.
statistically I doubt it's that unusual:
You go to uni but drop out
You come back home to live with your parent
You end up suffering from serious depression
Couple of years go by whilst you are getting your shit together
You aren't qualified enough to earn enough money to live on your own
All your friends are in relationships/renting with people already
You have an expensive hobby which justifies your existence
How do you suppose people get out of this situation easily?
I think people are very lucky to have capitalised on the small window of opportunity of like 17-20 where you are given an easy pass to meet vast amounts of similarly aged people from similar socio-economic backgrounds who all need to partner up/share a place. I wish I knew now how vital those few years are to giving you any sort of options in your life.
As it stand I'm in my mid 20s and my options are fast dwindling on this front, especially with my band which is my one major achievement and commitment, taking up most of my time and money.
I'm also afraid that I probably wouldn't be tolerable to other people now.
You are a good motivator.
I don't want to end up in that position AT ALL.
my 20s living with my parents saving for a flat. I saved a lot but found keeping up with house price inflation very hard despite earning a lot. I refused to rent as I don't want to pay someone elses mortgage for them. I finally bought my flat and moved out at the age of 30. Sad, I know. However, I now only have about £6000 remaining on my mortgage now, no mortgage at all basically. The whole thing is a balance between how you get on with your parents, your need for total independence and inevitably money and how much you have. I sort of "sacrificed" having independence during my 20s for a very nice and comfortable lifestyle that I enjoy now in my 30s. It's easy to take the piss out of people who are old yet live with their parents but money is hard to come by. I could have rented in my 20s but then I'd never would have owned my London flat. I'd be renting for the rest of my life.
That option is only open to most desperate these days.
And if you had money, which mine didn't, the amount you needed to be able to buy a place was a lot less than it is now.
My grandparents lived in the family home when they were married for a couple of years (and my dad was born 9 months to the day after their wedding) until the council estate had been built, and it was pretty rare for people to be able to get a place as soon as they were married until the post-war housing construction boom.
And she was trying to reason with me that "in her day", most people couldn't buy a house, they just got a council house, and the only ones who could afford to buy a house were "the ones with the decent jobs, like social workers...oh, like you. Hmm. You really should own a house by now".
that the economy wasn't great in the early 1980s but the amount you need for a deposit wasn't as great as it is now. Rent wasn't astronomical back then either. I know someone that lives alone and who pays about a grand for rental for a one bedroom flat in London. My own place would go for around £900. If you're single and live in London, moving out and not flat/house sharing is very hard. Understand that the people who live with their parents at the ages of 20 or 30 rather wouldn't. They just don't have the cash to move out.
So i don't really think it is straightforward.
have now. I was able to book holidays on a whim. Mortgages/rents tend to curb that ability.
I have chosen to spend the last year at my parents' through choice. Not just financial choice either (although, in hindsight, I don't know how I would've survived elsewhere) but because they live in a very rural environment which I grew used to over the years. When I go into work/find myself a place, my surroundings will be markedly more urban, so I'm just savouring it for now, whilst sacrificing part of my independence.
Their house is pretty huge and on three floors so it wouldn't be claustrophobic but just wouldn't do it. Have saved enough to cover rent/bills for a year even if I lost my job tomorrow.
Interesting third category hasn't been mentioned...quasi independent types whose parents cover their rent, car payments/insurance, bills etc etc. There are more of them about than you'd think, I imagine it's even more common in London.
Don't know how you do that without feeling like a weird low-self-esteem giant fucking baby
I'd love to live with my mum again at some point. Anyone who has a problem with that can get to fuck.
People (especially british) are so funny about this issue. Living away from the family home is an important part of adulthood, but it's not the be all and end all. I'd rather live in a lovely, safe, loving environment than some fetid dump with a bunch of gauche pricks. I'm lucky, though, in that I'm friendly with my parents, they enjoy having me home (or act well), they have enough space for us not to be cramped, I have lots of friends who live near them, they support and encourage me to have friends over and party, there are good jobs in commutable distance and it's basically lovely. I love it there- they have my dogs. I lived with them a bit while saving to buy a house after uni and again when I left my husband. My sister and her bf lived with them for years after they graduated and struggled to find jobs. My sis is back with then again after the ceiling fell through her glasgow flat. I wouldn't rule out a stint back with them in the future. Absolutely nothing wrong with it if your family are good with it, you all get on well enough, you're able to have some kind of independentand life and you're not afraid of conpromise.
Not sure about dates but probably from ages 23-25.
Although the first year of that I moved into my mum's house on my own whilst she was in hospital for a year then the second year was just me and her whilst she was getting back to full health.
It's a bit of blur now, but I remember kinda enjoying it in a strange way. Got on better with her than I ever did before.
Probably helped me 'grow up' a bit as before then I was just kind of floating around without any responsibility.
living with them isn't at all an ordeal. In fact, me and my boyfriend are moving back in with them soon to save money that we wouldn't be able to save living together on our own. I'd rather live with them than my previous housemates who were an absolute fucking nightmare.
Bless them, but you couldn't get me to live with my old dears again for all the fingerless gloves in DanielKelly's gym bag
I've never mentioned a gym bag.
Living with them again, would just be too much.
Cons: sharing a bedroom with siblings/lack of space/less freedom in general
pros: saving money/my family is pretty cool/having my cat around/family home is in London so it's aight
1) Living in Southport
2) Living with my Parents
I want to do neither of these things.
Not over here though.
I left home when I was 18 to go to uni, did all that, lived in various bits of the country, ended up returning to the nest for various reasons (including finances of course).
I feel like it actually did me a world of good. After uni I dived head first into a lot of commitments I probably wasn't mature enough to handle. But I look at what a mess I was for the first six months of coming home, and the person I am now, and there's a world of difference. I got my shit together. Not completely, but enough.
The other thing was that I got to spend really, really precious time with non-parental family that I wouldn't otherwise had. My nana had to be moved into a care home and I was there to help out with that, and go and visit her loads in her (very) old age. At the other end of the spectrum, my step-sister has two awesome young kids, one still a baby, one three years old now who I've been able to watch grow up and form a real bond with. She's bringing the older one up to visit at my new flat this weekend and I can't wait. I also, during that time, rekindled an old friendship with a local friend, travelled around the country lots, met some amazing people, had an important relationship, developed the job skills that landed me the one I'm in, and found time to do some freelance writing. And none of this would have happened if my life had 'gone to plan'.
I love having my own place again, and I realise this is all a tad sentimental, but as someone who's just left an adult-living-at-home-again set-up, I felt at one point like it was more than a year of my life wasted. I now think that it depends a lot on how you approach it and what you take out of it.