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wondering what to do, earlier today I was shaking - nearly had enough. :|
i go along with the general vibe and lie through my teeth by not saying what i think. Im actually a dirty stinking snivelling coward, and i put up with ridiculous shit which i dont agree with at all, but I havnt had the guts to stand up and so what i always thought was right, always live by other peoples rules, and because of that hide myself and mind from what im doing, so im shit at the pretend life
...but more agressive
and he's my enemy?
don't give in, it can be hard to fight the push and pull of your own ambition and standards for yourself vs what others expect but you're doing a good job just being yourself. Most people on here will attest to you being friendly and open-minded so you are doing fine.
Hope you feel better soon!
plus they are removing a travel allowance that i get plus other tax rebates are going, so i basically am probably going to be screwed financially too.
All my fault...its all very well saying nice things...i've gone the middle route and succeeded at neither
to justify my existance
"I did not stay at an xxx designated corporate hotel such as the Apex Waterloo as the accomodation I stayed in is much cheaper" Im staying in the eurohostel......always done that....spend bout £35 or less a night....get dinner cheaper from supermarket......so how am I rewarded for that? for saving money for the client and therefore not bumping up the price of stuff for people in the end? by having to do more work to justify every expense that is not done in the 'corporate/profligate way' I also have to explain that 'I do not have a corporate AMEX card' on every sodding expense that I submit.
Im even required to spend time justifying £0.02 phone calls on my account unless i just pay it myself.....what reward or thanks? do i get? Get told Im not a team player, dont do 'giveback' got 3 hours sleep for this week and last week cos i had to communicate with offshore testing....i wont see a penny ot for that, plus i got told off for not doing 'my corporate career work' for my Personal Development Manager.
Oh and why havnt I done any online training in the last 3 days?
.....cos Im shagged and at the end of my fucking tether thats why
cos its my fault
your current employers sound like dicks
I'm sure there's lots of other places that'd want you
I wouldnt want me :|.
I don't / havnt practiced the 'professional vernacular' I can hear the hollow ring of lies when i try to indulge in that nonsense. I cant even write a glowing self assesment for my current company, the way they want me to do it makes me want to vomit and punch myself for saying such things
I'll employ you in my entrepreneurial enterprise.
much less corporate nonsense and you can probably get a job just by being clued up and nice.
I know it can seem intimidating entering the 'job market' after having been at the same place for a while and I totally understand the feeling of not believing an organisation would hire the self you feel like at that moment. But you are doubtless way more employable than you imagine - once you get out there, it'll become clear.