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what are the chances that you'll actually go ahead with meeting them?
and under what circumstances will you cancel?
'we should do something sometime' then it's 50/50. it gets a date, time and location it shoots up to 95% likely to happen (or maybe higher)
i won't cancel things unless i feel like shit.
*we should do something this week* (without a specific date/time/location) then it shoots up to 75/25, i guess.
Is a form of social bullshit that I can't be bothered tolerating anymore. Like this on a facebook wall:
`Happy Birthday! We should meet up soon!`
Cool. What a non-commital load faux-sentiment that is. At least ask when someone's free or suggest a potential future time/place. That sentiment is empty in itself...
sometimes when i say it we follow through and sometimes we don't. you're bloody mental
...the people who genuinely mean it follow up with actually trying to arrange something. Mostly, though, it's empty rhetoric.
In my experience anyway. But we've already found out in this thread that I know some pretty shitty people...
If I've said that I'll do something, even if a better offer subsequently comes up, I will still do it.
The times things have fallen through are usually because I've been ill (proper ill, not just tired, or sniffly, or a bit hungover), or stuck when long-distance transport screws up.
...if I say I'm doing something, I'll do it. No exceptions other than illness.
Or maybe I just know some pretty shitty people. I don't know...
as it would massively upset me if someone did that to me.
And there have been various instances in the past where I have been incredibly upset by it. But, such is life.
I'll only cancel if I don't feel well or I have no money or I'm sad.
If you agree on a time and place to meet up, you do it (barring circumstances beyond your control).
If you've explicitly said "maybe" (like if they're going somewhere with a group of friends and have invited you along or summats, but you don't properly commit and just say you'll try and get along, or whatever, and then don't bother) that's not really flaking is it?
and then people are like "oh that means no doesn't it" and then you have to be like w"well you're turning into a no because you're making me not want to be near you SO FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING CUNT"
that happens sometimes
people are much more likely to be flaky when it comes to attending a party / gig / something like that where there are loads of people and their absence won't be missed so badly
Unless someone in particular is specifically counting on you to be there.
But proper plans to hook up and do something should be honoured.
not the end of the world but yeah, annoying.
ditto arranging a meal out - esp. if you have to keep calling the restaurant and changing the numbers
group meals are a nightmare at the best of times.
and you can reasonably expect people to come when they've said they will.
I'm thinking more about stuff where it's more a case of a "yeah, maybe" in response to a "we're doing X, give us a shout if you fancy it".
Ducking out of a booked place at a table is classic shoddy flaky behaviour.
Told them last night that I couldn't make an event next weekend because I was going somewhere else (that was arranged about a month ago) with some other friends and I'd totally forgot it clashed with this other thing.
Well... you'd think I'd set fire to their families or something they way one of them reacted. I nearly walked out the pub.
Also, regarding what cat_race said about the saying "maybe" thing - and then someone saying "that means no doesn't it" - happens all the time. Sometimes I just don't want to do the same stuff! SHOCK HORROR.
Sorry, rant over.
to go to the beach on Saturday, when actually if I think back I knew, he knew, we both knew this wasn't going to happen.
We just didn't contact each other the next day until the evening and had no hard feelings. Usually I just ignore texts or calls and my friends know me well enough to understand that it ain't happening.
Maybe that makes me a bad person. Don't particulary give a fuck.
dont turn up.. friend calls or texts you, you dont answer or reply...?
Im glad im not your friend..
^invented the cadburys twirl
so I try not to do it them. (I cancelled on Meo last night)
I had a better offer anyway.
(a date with my sewing machine)
I just can't be arsed and agree to stuff so people leave me alone
Backstory: I'd made contact with an old friend via facebook after a ten year gap. After a couple of false starts, we finally managed to hook up. Me and mswza went round to her and her blokes place for the evening and it worked out fine. Was really nice to catch up - her bloke was nice and they seemed to hit it off with mswza. A friendship rekindled. Lovely stuff.
A bit of time passed, during which they have a kid. And then maybe two or three months or so after that we arrange to meet up. We settle on date for some unspecified baby-friendly activity in Glasgow. In the week before the date there were a couple of fb messages of what we might do. Nothing fixed, but that doesn't matter cos we've got plenty of options and can decide on the day. Not wanting to be to needy or crowding-out about it, and it defo being her call on responding to the back and forth messages, I await confirmation of a time of arrival on the date we'd arranged. Nothing. No confirmation either way that they were our weren't coming to town. No real problem, cos we're only ten minutes away from the station. But when you keep an eye on your messages and nothing has arrived by midday on the day, you kind of know it's not happening. But it's difficult to poured the issue and find out why. And so you just leave it like that: hanging in the air... with the odd jovial facebook 'like' from her on one of your photos every now and again. But picking things up after the event and ignoring it all is not so easy cos facebook won't let you start anew by shaking off your message history - the old thread of unrealised planning is always gonna be directly above any new carefree message you want to send.
Fuck you, flakers (explained, or unexplained).
Fuck you, facebook.
Blame it on the baby, whatever... But the weird non-event thing sits really oddly - and there's only so much chasing that ought to be done. Don't want to be pandering to a flaker, but it's a fine line that and cutting your nose off to spite your face.
...there's absolutely no excuse for this.
But then again, life is nothing but an endless stream of `finding out who your friends are`, I guess.
I kinda feel more sad about it than I should. In reality it's no real biggie cos, on the one hand, I barely have anything invested in the friendship. But it's a shame, cos it's a mate from ages ago who had moved up fairly locally (kinda in parallel, but initially unbeknownst to me until fb) and it's be nice to pick up on that common ground. In theory we'd be a great pair of couples - apparently nuff stuff in common, and a similar life outlook etc, but in practice, perhaps not so much.
Oh man this hits home and I've never seen it articulated before.
Fri night spent with person one - good.
Sat avo, drop into cafe where person 2 worked to arrange meeting up later and staying at his house. He says small problem in that he's supposed to be going on a date to the cinema but we can all meet up after that. Ok, not best pleased but whatever, can meet a cOuple of hours later than planned.
Go to person threes house for tea and chat. Get text from person two saying sorry but he really wants to take this girl home to, I quote, have sex all over her face, and could I find somewhere else to stay tonight?
Cunt. Haven't spoken since.
I hate it so much when people flake on you because something better comes up. It feels you with this toxic mix of self-doubt and impotent anger.