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than the argument between whether you sit down or stand up to have a wipe after a number 2?
While in reality, I seem to be constantly outnumbered by those who stand...
we are the antithesis of each other
Stand up for your wipes
Like they simply cannot conceptualise anything other than their own stance, and refuse to believe it's even possible.
how are you not wiping shit all up your ass crack? that's why our balls are where they are, because when your hand reaches the balls that's your body's way of saying "you have reached the end of the anus"
must suck 4 u
can do the deed sitting down without their wang bashing up against the rim of the toilet bowl.
For all the crying people do about dirty toilet seats, it's scientifically proven that there's more bacteria on your mouse. The rim of the toilet on the other hand is as filthy and godforsaken a place as Mordor or Hull.
but if there was one post I wish I could take back today, this is it
In the same way you do whilst sitting down to go about your business.
you're still reaching your hand in awkwardly between your legs, trying to navigate around the balls. it's just madness.
Like a rest. Rest it on the top.
"like a bellend clapper" ......DONG!
maybe when you are two years old, but grown adults? this place....this awful fucking weirdo farm
do you realize when you stand up you just...you make everything worse?
that's how I wipe cack
you know you know
only shitballs don't do it like thaaaat
would you stand outside and reach in through the window to clean it?
It's weird, but still not as weird as men who choose to piss standing up when there is the option of a seat.
Speed, not having to faff with belt and buttons, or retucking a shirt, and the fact that most public loo seats look like people have missed the bowl, the pleasure of getting to aim at something... the list goes on.
1. It takes like a second to pull down your trousers, you dont even have to undo the buttons.
2. It takes like a second to tuck in your shirt. You could even do it on the way to your next destination to pass the time.
3. This wouldn't be the case if everyone didn't stand up like idiots.
4. Sitting down frees your hands and mind to pursue activities far more entertaining than aiming piss.
5. The list doesn't even exist.
you're a man who sits to piss?
you are the truly the weird king
First things first: take a good look at your creation.
Wiping posture: more of a squat than a stand, tbh, but it's definitely impossible to do a proper job sitting down.
Direction of wipe: smelly bridge to coccyx (with a cursory coccyx region reverse direction check wipe at the end of the procedure).
Number of sheets: Two or three at a time foldedso as to create a square (not a multi-sheet glove cos I'm not female), folded and reused if not too soiled, folded again if possible (the nugget of paper reaches the parts flat sheets cannot).
And ^that, you bunch of fecal-freaks, is a textbook post-shit procedure.