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they talk about football a lot and i don't have much in common with them but they're no harm
then my boss pissed me off so I'm not too happy now. She hounds me if I make a mistake which is a bit harsh, I've not even been here 4 months yet and have never done accountancy in my life.
I've worked in several accountancy firms in the past and imho the miserable/po-faced/whiney/boring/wankerish count tends to be pretty high. As does the weird count.
not sure what though. Maybe I'll become a gardener.
But they all probably think that of me, and they all seem to like each other. Even the really annoying fucker in the corner.
although a girl behind me just told me to stop sniffing, I wish hayfever was contagious; I'd go over there and sneeze right in her mouth
what does it mean? like stuck up or something?
it's that look of concern or discontent. Everyone in my office does it.
i'm concerned he might have hurt his ankle
not at you
literally no men and all the customers are women too. I think i will have fogotten how to talk to men after a while, not that i ever knew how
I work for a charity with a huge amount of overseas work. But as I work in brand and marketing people treat me like some kind of devil, despite the fact that it brings in the money for them to live in their fantasy development bubble.
I always have the development set poem in my draft items for the day where I crack and finally give one of them both barrels (probably the day I leave)
The Development Set
‘Excuse me, friends, I must catch my jet
I’m off to join the Development Set;
My bags are packed, and I’ve had all my shots
I have traveller’s checks and pills for the trots!
The Development Set is bright and noble
Our thoughts are deep and our vision global;
Although we move with the better classes
Our thoughts are always with the masses.
In Sheraton Hotels in scattered nations
We damn multi-national corporations;
injustice seems easy to protest
In such seething hotbeds of social rest.
We discuss malnutrition over steaks
And plan hunger talks during coffee breaks.
Whether Asian floods or African drought,
We face each issue with open mouth.
We bring in consultants whose circumlocution
Raises difficulties for every solution –
Thus guaranteeing continued good eating
By showing the need for another meeting.
The language of the Development Set
Stretches the English alphabet;
We use swell words like “epigenetic”
“Micro”, “macro”, and “logarithmetic”
It pleasures us to be esoteric –
It’s so intellectually atmospheric!
And although establishments may be unmoved,
Our vocabularies are much improved.
When the talk gets deep and you’re feeling numb,
You can keep your shame to a minimum:
To show that you, too, are intelligent
Smugly ask, “Is it really development?”
Or say, “That’s fine in practice, but don’t you see:
It doesn’t work out in theory!”
A few may find this incomprehensible,
But most will admire you as deep and sensible.
Development set homes are extremely chic,
Full of carvings, curios, and draped with batik.
Eye-level photographs subtly assure
That your host is at home with the great and the poor.
Enough of these verses – on with the mission!
Our task is as broad as the human condition!
Just pray god the biblical promise is true:
The poor ye shall always have with you.’
and then smash the place up while the Dead Kennedys Holiday in Cambodia plays.
1) pick picture of starving child, starving dog, plump cancer survivor from clipart
2) add caption - GIVE NOW or THIS IS SERIOUS NOW
3) finished before midday