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Genuinely don't see the appeal.
Convince me otherwise.
And I thought I'd seen everything
as unreliable in court
As in, mid-40s or something.
Each to their own, but i think you should live your life a bit first. Would like to get a bit more life experience myself before it was up to me to raise another person.
Virtually all of my mates had kids before their mid-20s, and most of them seem pretty happy. Can see the benefits in becoming parents young, but it just really wouldn't be for me.
Think more people should adopt, though, tbh. Think the 'continuing the family line' stuff's a load of old bollocks.
basically in that I'm now mid 30s and my kids are at school and fairly low maintenance/independent whilst a lot of my 30 something friends are dealing with nappies and sleepless nights.
They don't grown on trees you know.
Every last one of them
My eldest daughter is 7 and went to complain to a customer services dude in Tesco at the weekend, 'Why do these pajamas say FOR BOYS on them? Girls like pajamas with skulls on too!'
She's so awesome.
but I am very scared of having to push a baby out of my vagina and I don't want my belly button to become an outy.
I think it would hurt a lot and I heard they sometimes just slit a knife down your vanilla strip and bust that right open to get the baby out.... I feel faint.
i also recently learned that after pregnancy the shape of your hips will be permanently changed and also your nipples will go darker AND NEVER GO BACK
Don't think is as bad as getting kicked in the knackers though.
If you ask a man would he like to be kicked in the knackers again, no one would say yes.
You get a baby when you have a baby.
Women claim there is no worse pain. Clearly there is.
My hips are pretty big as it is?
I don't want really dark nipples
I like my body and vagina the way it is :(
SRSLY though....when do you have to make a decision? i'm only 23 but I reckon when I get older, i'll well want a kid and just put up with the worry and pain, right? maybe when i'm 30?
can't believe you get away with posting stuff like that meow
[still time to up your hit rate]
Here is a new pic of me....its a bit embarrassing though as I don't have any make up on!!
They both know I think they are mental. Anyway, one of them is fairly normal, albeit a massive fatty, unable to drink, tires easily. The other one, this kind of shit is all she talks about now. Fucksake. They're both due in September. I have told them that I intend to avoid them like the plague for the entire month in case they go into labour in my immediate vicinity. I'll see them straight after they've had the baby and no doubt I'll be a soppy mess, but if they start having that kid near me I am out of there.
ask them if they have dark nipples yet
and goes south from the navel.
The moany one is always talking about how she thinks her belly button is going to pop out soon. The other one is just like 'nah, nothing like that's happened' which makes the moany one even moanier. 'S funny.
They'll love you for it
It'll be like having a puppy, except it'll know how to use Lego.
I.... <abandon reply> I'm going to stop right there, you'll be relieved to hear.
fanny-based chats though.
No there's not! (well, I should probably get knocked up in the next couple of years. Before I'm 40 anyway.)
THIS BLOODY WEBSITE.
A gun hand, you know.
Miss that dog :(
I'm no longer scared of it, but I still like my freedom. Biologically, I think I've probably got over the most of my broodiness (watching friends have PND and marriage breakdowns onc e kids arrive has helped that. a lot.) So. I can definitely see the appeal in not having them. I think on balance I think I'd still quite like nippers though. I wouldn't want an only child, so i guess two would be good. Not sure i'm up for pregnancy and birth though. If you were able to grow them on a petri dish, then I'd be more inclined to do it, but I have a trim torso and I like my vagina the way it is thanks. Might adopt. A monkey.
(Or equally likely, will be announcing my pregnancy in the morning thread in a couple of months. WAAAh.)
don't care about the ***, making human beings is amazing
and if you read my train of consciousness you'll see that I'm actually up for it and PROBABLY GOING TO DO IT SOON.
Plenty of time
Me and meow and our vagina admiration <3333
and crave constant attention
it's 'easier' if they have a brother or sister to play with - unless one or both is a psycho
also, whether you have one or three kids, they all crave constant attention.
I have friends who have two girls aged 6 & 7 and they can disappear and amuse themselves for HOURS without bothering their parents at all
then again I have other friends who have a boy and a girl 6 & 5 respectively who harass their parents CONSTANTLY with each complaining about the other
I think I'd just like to have two BECAUSE I DO, in the same way that many people would prefer to have one, or three. Tick tock and all that though- i might only manage to squeeze one out and I guess I'll just need to be a better parent to make up for the lack of sibling company.
of sibling company. Mental. Kids have friends you know, they don't necessarily need brothers or sisters. It really annoys me that people who don't have children make snap statements on parenting when they have absolutely no experiance of it themselves. But you're not alone in that. Someone told me the other day that people who choose to have one child are selfish. Again mental.
yes I have one child. And its a constant irritation to me that people have been conditioned to think only having two or more is the sensible option. Sometimes cirumstances dictate that you will only have one child. People constantly ask "ooh when are you having your 2nd"
maybe we won't, its none of your fucking busines really is it and a bit rude to assume we will in the first place !
wasn't me that said your kid is gonna grow up to be a prick
I know only children who are lovely. To be honest, I don't think it matters how many you have. I also agree wholeheartedly that how many you have is no-one's business but yours and it's rude of people to be asking.
And no, I'm not angry, just explaining my annoyance of something.
I think I remember you getting seriously exercised about this issue once before (and I think I was actually defending only children at the time. I am nothing if not inconsistent in my posting.) We are only the sum of our experiences, and while I know that it's perfectly possible to raise a wonderfully rounded only child (and quite lovely for them too, not to have to share their parent's attention) I also know that a) I am one of two girls in our family and I LOVE having a sister. I would love my child to have a little sister or brother; and b) all of the only childen in our extended family/ friends group are unmitigated mentalists.
So pardon me for being baised, but my bias is no less valid than your own bias.
I don't think it's necessarily mental to think that having an only child might require a bit more parental input at times. Again, taken form my own epxeriences of growing up with my sis and the two of us amusing ourselves for hours whilst mummy pruned the roses with her hipsflask and read Jilly Cooper books.
here's the thing- once you start having kids, the whole world has an opinon about what you should or shouldn't be doing and I think you have to develop a bit of a thick skin about it all. So long as you know that your wee one is a delight and not a brat, what does it really matter what stupid interfering outsiders think?
(not you) comments on your situation flippantly without actually knowing anything about you it really grates my gears. Yeah, I probably should develop a thicker skin..
I have empathy and intielligence and plenty of life experience in these matters from friends and close family ot be able to form a reasonable judgement on the mater.
Judgement - only children are more often than not a PITA.
I'm yanking your chain.
You've talked about your child on here before and she does sound like an adorable little thing. I'm sure you're doing a grand job and I can totally understand that it grates when people make generalisation. Just... pick your battles, yes? Because I'm sure she doesn't need you fighting her corner on this very silly (and ultimately highly subjective) debate.
oh how I love these boards.
I think there are two potential problems with only children
> lack of emotional understanding due to less interaction with other children
> over-protective parents creating needy/spoilt traits
Both are fairly easily solved if you think about them. And both are down to being a good parent. Problem is, parenting is something that is assumed by some to be natural when it's actually like any other skill. The only guidance some people get is remembering how their parents were with them - not always a good way to learn.
Is always taken to mean "only kids whose parents don't bother to integrate them with other kids, or have any friends or live round the corner from kids the same age so end up weird".
But then there is a near endless stream of absolute bollocks said about children, so don't get me started.
I know lots of only children. They are no more or less weird than anyone else.
SOME OF MY WEIRDEST MATES HAVE SIBLINGS
Only children rule.
few of my friends have them. Always feel uncomfortable holding a baby. Just a bit...uhmmm ya take it back now thnx.
Of course that will probs all change. At the minute I'm happy just milling about, occasionally being productive and drinking lager.
don't think anyone cares either way.
then a pain in the arse from 7-18. Undecided.
Because I can't think of any circumstances (for me) in which that would seem to be a better decision than "no ta, I'm alright with no babies, cheers" in light of all the changes and sacrifices that entails.
The idea in the abstract doesn't scare me (much), but the reality of it doesn't appeal to me.
Not in a completely happy loving and stable relationship?
I just don't fancy kids. Or want to have any of my own. Arf.
that you never knew existed and would be impossible to replicate with anything else.
happy with nieces, nephews etc. Then when my lad came along it all changed.
I absolutely get where you're at - kids are hard, hard work. But it's alos the best and most rewarding thing you could do.
had a Chicago Town stuffed-crust pizza last night after football and I don't think I can be happier than at the moment I first bit into it.
the vagina distortion and pain are both temporary, as is the nipple darkening (mostly)
but I am fucking petrified. I can't help that. I'm sure wanting a baby that bad one day will overcome that fear but for now, its just not there.
*inspects nipples closely*
but I don't want fuck up. Most people on here would be awesome parents. Go and have kids, guys.
Go and mate.
It could be considered a minor classic. Certainly the natural exchanges between the two principle pale actors are worthy of praise. As is the way the film captures what it means to be a young delinquent will little to do but hang around during the summer heat.
Seeing other people with kids gives a false impression, it's much better and they're much less annoying when they're yours.
That said, the notion that your life is somehow incomplete without them is stupid.
Well. I say that but.... My friend doesn't like her child. She couldn't stand it as a baby. Only barely tolerates it as a toddler. I guess by the time she goes to school she'll have achieved a happy ambivalence. I mean, she loves it, but she just doesn't really like it. She is crazy about her six-month old newborn though (my godson. he is a corker, to be fair.)
I do worry that I'll just get totally fed up with my baby after a week or so.
I think a lot of people do it because they feel it's just the done thing. fortunately most of those people love and look after their kids properly, but yeah- risky stuff!
she can then take the photo to b&q and then will make paint in that colour and then you can use that paint to decorate the baby's room as a reminder of the sacrifice that has been made. she thinks i'm a lunatic.
Cracking idea, though.
and do the match. Less lunacy involved.
Only problem I foresee is if you have boy. Unless her nipples are blue, in which case job's a good un
pink for a boy. If they are neutral-coloured nips e.g. yellow or white, then you won't have a problem.
We should judge. We're here to help...
I like kids but I find 99% of new parents utterly cringeworthy. New Dads that push a buggy round town like a drone or people that put pictures up of their kids asleep on Facebook I find completely abhorrent. The same goes for people with "baby on board" stickers in their cars - cos without those signs in the window I'm more likely to want to crash into you! I also hate being the centre of attention and becoming a Dad will mean that everyone will start wanting to give me advice about the best types of nappy or food when I blatantly won't care and if I do, I'll do the research myself. I also don't see the big deal over when a kid takes their first step or utters their first words - everyone does it eventually so don't get into a tizzy unless they never speak or never walk!!
but it's also perfectly natural when all of life's priorities up until sprogging suddenly get changed. I think it's quite sweet but i do switch off quite easily now when in the company of some of my more evangelical parent-friends. fortunately I think most people realise fairly quickly that the rest of world simply IS NOT and NEVER WILL BE quite as desperately interested in every detail of their offspring's existence.
What? It's good to take your kids out for some fresh air and stimulation... unless I'm mistaken.
though that might be sleep deprivation at work
I'd have them all lined up against a wall and shot. Pushing prams and staring. Fucking disgusting. Should be women only.
women pushing prams usually have no change of expression wheras men do in comparison. it's very good they are doing their part
you stupid tosspot. Women pushing prams usually have no change of expression whereas men do in comparison. It's not that hard to understand is it brainiac?
or stress/anger. men i spot will be blank if they a lone pram pushers but normally expressed if with the wife.
source: loads and loads of prams and youngsters where i live & work
I stand corrected
wasn't to convince other drivers not to ram you off the road, it was to alert the emergency services to look for a baby if you were in a crash.
(I'll check snopes, but i'm sure it's bollocks and that the paramedics are more focussed on looking for signs of human life rather than searching for a piece of laminate).
In the days before the internet, did nonsense just go unchallenged? What a world it must have been.
stickers that were for paramedics
I bet you do
seems like a great idea beforehand but then you have one and it consumes your life and everyone thinks youre a wanker.
I can't imagine having to fill the time between now and when I die without them...
I announced to my family that I never wanted to have children, just cats. I briefly thought I wanted a kid with my ex when we were totally ~in love~ and discussing our future. Damn hormones.
Let's be honest, I can't handle dogs let alone children. As per the discussion of only children earlier in the thread, I think this has something to do with it. I have much older half siblings but they were out of the house by the time I was 2. I didn't grow up with any baby cousins or anything. I've never changed a diaper in my life and don't hope to!
it totally changed him and his priorities over-night, matured him and has made him more tolerant of others. I love my niece to bits, she is the coolest person in the world to me, she is round our house quite a lot and no matter what kind of day I've had it's impossible not to be happy around her and the hours just fly past! This is probably only a tiny fraction of what I would feel if I was a parent, insane!
I'm realistic though and don't expect to ever have kids of my own but for whatever reason it really is special to know there is a new younger generation sharing some of your DNA and experiences. People who say it's selfish to have children, whilst having a point logistically maybe, are just crazy. Embracing the joy of shared thoughts, memories, nature, similarities is the best thing being human has to offer.
When they become precocious and spend all their time transparently trying to impress people - stomach turning
When they become teenagers - :s
Then you have some neurotic sad adults who are your children - :(