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Pooing in the dark

tippimit [Edit] [Delete] 20 replies 13:01, 26 June '12

The light was out in our windowless toilet last week. When the torch ran out of batteries, we used a candle as a light source. I went in for a number two, listening to the radio on my phone, when the romantic piano ballad "She's Always a Woman" by Billy Joel came on.
The candlelight and sad melody, contrasting with loud toilet noises reduced me to tears to the extent I found it quite hard to catch my breath.

Has anyone had a similar experience?

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  • Can't start a fire without a spark

    Balonz | 26 Jun '12, 13:02 | X
    DaddyorChips and meowington this'd this
  • Get a fucking grip.

    andyvine | 26 Jun '12, 13:04 | X
  • my friend doesn't have a light in his bathroom.

    was there on saturday and had to listen for the tinkle of urine on water whilst starting a piss. I wasn't about to sit down. I'm not a girl.

    moousee | 26 Jun '12, 13:06 | X
  • No, but I'm being sponsored to poo in the dark for a week

    so I know what it's like to be blind.

    Zapsta | 26 Jun '12, 13:44 | X
  • I witnessed the aftermath of a poo in the dark at a beer festival

    it was more of an explosion than anything. Up the walls, on the floor...

    CillaCrack | 26 Jun '12, 14:00 | X
  • wonderful return

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FySvx00cvzw

    ehwhat | 26 Jun '12, 14:01 | X
  • I'm afraid I don't understand.

    monoshono | 26 Jun '12, 14:19 | X
    • Take a shit in the dark?

      slavestate @monoshono | 26 Jun '12, 14:21 | X
  • LOOKING FOR THE ANSWER

    shithawk | 26 Jun '12, 14:26 | X
  • I seem to recall Charlie Simpson from Busted hated pooing in the dark.

    He always insisted on pooing with the light on and even when so far as to write a song about it.

    But then the record company found it a bit weird and made him change what it was about.

    theguywithnousername | 26 Jun '12, 14:30 | X
  • My dad bought a special cabinet which you wave your hand under, and it turns these little lights on

    that are not to bright to hurt your eyes in the night but allow you to see things. Its pretty handy for nighttime toilet trips.

    meowington | 26 Jun '12, 14:48 | X
    • NIGHTLIGHTS.

      Icarus-Smicarus @meowington | 27 Jun '12, 03:34 | X
  • Took a shit to Mozart's Requiem the other week

    drcoffeebean | 26 Jun '12, 14:56 | X
  • We have one of those motion detecting light things in the work loo

    Sometimes I wave my hands in the air like I just don't care

    DanielKelly | 26 Jun '12, 15:02 | X
  • Thanks poo fans.

    tippimit | 27 Jun '12, 00:10 | X
  • Not really a pooing in the dark story, but a being-reduced-to-tears pooing story, so I guess it has some relevance to the OP

    The place: Tokyo, Japan. The time: 9.55 on a Sunday morning. I'm downtown, and squeaking for a shit, like totally got the turtle's head. I'm standing outside a department store that's about to open, and when it does, I'll be going in there, heading for the toilet and seriously unloading. It's touch and go, the peristaltic contractions are fluttering and I'm sweating slightly, shifting from foot to foot.

    Finally, a guy comes over, unlocks the doors, opens them, and I file inside with a few other early shoppers, resisting the urge to elbow them aside and break into a panicked sprint. I've been here before and know that the toilet is way across the other side of the store, so I start heading for it at a fast but dignified walk. The floor I'm on happens to be the perfume/cosmetics/lingerie things floor.

    Now, the thing about Japanese department stores is that they like to greet the first customers of the day. So as I make my way past all the various displays where they're selling pricey hair products, Chanel No. 5, silk knickers etc, everyone walks around to the front of their counters and makes me a beautiful deep bow.

    Suddenly it strikes me as hilariously funny: here I am, on my way to take the filthiest shit imagineable, and I'm being ushered along by beautiful, immaculately-groomed Japanese women who are all lining up right & left to smile, bow and welcome me on my way.

    I manage to maintain my composure until I reach the cubicle. The sense of release that follows - shit out one end, tears of laughter out the other - is pretty magical.

    blisters | 27 Jun '12, 00:21 | X
  • erm

    when I was a teenager I seem to remember that I had to take all my clothes off for number twos.

    I really have no idea why

    creakyknees | 27 Jun '12, 00:30 | X
    • pooing in the dark therefore presented certain problems

      like where are you putting your clothes, nowadays this is not a problem and yes it is good

      creakyknees @creakyknees | 27 Jun '12, 00:31 | X
  • My dad grew up in a house with no bathroom windows

    To this day he puts the light on when using the facilities in daylight (despite a bathroom window)

    urbanfox | 27 Jun '12, 00:57 | X
  • I imagine it heightens the senses around the whole process

    Liek that restuarant in the dark. Just with poo instead of food.

    Songs_about_ducking | 27 Jun '12, 10:34 | X
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