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'you have a secret admirer' - an unwanted attention from colleagues thread

incandenza_ [Edit] [Delete] 64 replies 23:28, 29 May '12

in work this morning, a couple of (annoying, stereotypically Manc & girly) colleagues let me know that I have a secret admirer ('yoooou have secret /admiiireeeer/...').

now, because I'm not dense, I knew straight away who it was, and later, I had this confirmed by one of the colleagues.

I am not into this person. I'm not even into the idea of being with a colleague, for obvious & rational reasons.

I'm also a bit rubbish at letting people down. doesn't help that letting this girl down will make things awkward.

why couldn't one of the girls who I've served and felt a fleeting, vague, 'flirty' (yuck) connection with be a secret admirer instead, and come in to buy stuff regularly, and gradually it reaches the point where I can ask her to go see a film or for her to ask when I clock off?

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  • Haha, you're gonna have to marry her.

    SenorDingDong | 29 May '12, 23:29 | X
    blimeycharlie, TheSoundofBastards, Antelope, andyvine, monoshono, and Yesiamaduck this'd this
  • You work at Sainsbo's, right?

    I think I fancy someone at your work. (From 2 years ago.)

    deadonthestairs | 29 May '12, 23:31 | X
    • which one?

      moousee @deadonthestairs | 29 May '12, 23:32 | X
      • The one next to the Ritz.

        deadonthestairs @moousee | 29 May '12, 23:33 | X
        • I'm not aware of the females whom work there.

          moousee @deadonthestairs | 29 May '12, 23:37 | X
          • Total babes, the lot of 'em.

            deadonthestairs @moousee | 29 May '12, 23:38 | X
            • I'm not sure I work with any babes

              unless you mean Jim, Sainbo's veteran of many year, and totally hot stuff.

              incandenza_ @deadonthestairs | 29 May '12, 23:42 | X
              • there isn't a single babe?

                moousee @incandenza_ | 29 May '12, 23:47 | X
                • Monica who works weekends, maybe

                  there was a girl called Phillipa who just left. she was kind of nice.

                  and my fellow recent recruit Robyn is okay.

                  no-one who really falls into my personal babe parameters, mousee.

                  incandenza_ @moousee | 30 May '12, 00:01 | X
                  • wait wait

                    this Monica, is she half Brazilian?

                    TheKennedyCurse @incandenza_ | 30 May '12, 09:21 | X
                    • half Brazilian?

                      I just assumed she had family in the subcontinent, but yeah, maybe (I'll have to ask).

                      she's also a bit of a metal girl.

                      incandenza_ @TheKennedyCurse | 30 May '12, 11:56 | X
                      • if this is the Sainsburys

                        near Big Hands then I know her, I used to work with her at the cinema. I'm assuming it's the same one she definitely left to go to Sainsbury's

                        TheKennedyCurse @incandenza_ | 30 May '12, 12:29 | X
                        • it's the Deansgate one

                          on Deansgate.

                          incandenza_ @TheKennedyCurse | 30 May '12, 12:44 | X
                          • this may well not be the same person

                            TheKennedyCurse @incandenza_ | 30 May '12, 12:45 | X
                            • I love how we're all talking about different Sainsbury's.

                              I say 'love', I don't really mean it.

                              deadonthestairs @TheKennedyCurse | 30 May '12, 12:58 | X
                              • Like

                                3 different Sainsbury's, as far as i can tell.

                                dirdyboy @deadonthestairs | 31 May '12, 02:17 | X
        • Are you working on Friday

          I'm going to come and stalk you

          andyvine @deadonthestairs | 30 May '12, 12:05 | X
          • nou

            maybe I'll get overtime on Friday.

            haven't knowingly been stalked yet. maybe people are stalking at all the wrong times?

            incandenza_ @andyvine | 30 May '12, 12:49 | X
  • Make up a girlfriend.

    Lets her down gently innit.

    moousee | 29 May '12, 23:32 | X
    Gorkys_Forever this'd this
    • Yeah, this.

      Either that or pretend you're gay.

      blimeycharlie @moousee | 29 May '12, 23:34 | X
      • the latter might be more believable

        there are already, like, three gay chaps.

        also, masculinity, I don't exude it.

        incandenza_ @blimeycharlie | 29 May '12, 23:45 | X
        • Ah. Probably best not to pretend you're gay then

          as you could end up in the same situation, but with one of the blokes.

          blimeycharlie @incandenza_ | 29 May '12, 23:50 | X
    • I think you should take her out for dinner and then never talk to her again.

      coolerthantv @moousee | 29 May '12, 23:36 | X
    • this is the kindest and best solution

      Gorkys_Forever @moousee | 30 May '12, 18:35 | X
  • Yeah, it's never someone you're actually interested in in this scenario is it?

    Irritating.

    blimeycharlie | 29 May '12, 23:33 | X
    incandenza_ and Icarus-Smicarus this'd this
    • well

      when i was at high school i secret admired a hottie. she then told one of my friends that she also secret fancied me. a few days later, i asked her out, and we "dated" for 4 months. i got to see her breasts.

      justanothersheeldz @blimeycharlie | 30 May '12, 09:31 | X
      • This is literally what's happening to me literally right now

        (not literally)

        Former colleague who I secret admired but I had a gf. When we split up a few friends met for a drink, she told me she used to have a crush on me. Turns out she still does. Boo yah

        andyvine @justanothersheeldz | 30 May '12, 12:00 | X
        • ^5

          justanothersheeldz @andyvine | 30 May '12, 12:05 | X
          andyvine this'd this
  • girl i don't even fancy was waiting on the corner for me to walk her home the other day, made some excuse about how she thought some creepy man was following her but I was following her so I know it was made up.

    she said she was doing an exam about the may 68 riots in Paris and I was like - obviously - "oh yeah. the situationists! on the poverty of student life! raoul vaneigem!" etc. and she said they haven't even looked at that stuff.

    if only she was into indiepop music and had a less awkward frame, i would surely be snuggling up beside her right now.

    fuckyeahdubstep | 29 May '12, 23:37 | X
    • why is her frame awkward

      where is untrue to come up with a joke about frames

      sexy_girl @fuckyeahdubstep | 29 May '12, 23:42 | X
      • legs too long + doesn't eat enough.

        fuckyeahdubstep @sexy_girl | 29 May '12, 23:43 | X
        • a skinny girl with long legs?

          they're the worst

          maybe you'd be good for her?

          Body_In_The_Thames @fuckyeahdubstep | 29 May '12, 23:46 | X
          • they're too skinny. there's no distinction between the stomach, thighs and knees.

            well done everyone, you've made me look like an american apparel store manager. it was just a throwaway comment, she is mostly just really dull

            fuckyeahdubstep @Body_In_The_Thames | 29 May '12, 23:47 | X
      • Awkward frame?

        I can picture her now.

        (is this right?)

        blimeycharlie @sexy_girl | 30 May '12, 00:05 | X
        Icarus-Smicarus, Antelope, andyvine, and automatik this'd this
    • you were the creepy man?

      moousee @fuckyeahdubstep | 29 May '12, 23:48 | X
      blimeycharlie, Cementimental, and andyvine this'd this
  • Link her to this thread.

    Steved | 29 May '12, 23:40 | X
  • shopwork is a lonely life

    zapstaman who was on the bus with me the other week http://drownedinsound.com/community/boards/social/4341127
    came into the shop the other day with a new haircut and a shave, in slightly related notes.

    sexy_girl | 29 May '12, 23:41 | X
    • you work in a shop? what kind?

      yeah, it is a bit. but sometimes there are lovely/smiley girls that look at my eyes and what I *hope* is a look of enigmatic warmth and respond (maybe) by blushing a bit and talking in that way that girls sometimes talk.

      the eyelash-fluttery way.

      there is a girl who does a literature masters, and we get along great, but she has a boyfriend in Leeds, and we only get along up to the subtle but noticeable point of aloof disconnection, the drawing of a line depicting convivial friendliness / heartfelt connection.

      did I mean convivial there? yes. yes, I think so.

      incandenza_ @sexy_girl | 30 May '12, 00:03 | X
      • one of these

        https://www.tcd.ie/CAPSL/TIC/assets/img/misc/book.jpg
        Actually knowing what they study, remarkable. My favourite customer was one who said, out of nowhere 'this should be free, (or vat free can't remember) because I'm a singer.'
        me: what do you sing?'
        'I'm a music teacher for tots at (tells me time and place) and also (some other specific time and place of a thing on a sunday)
        i joke that i will go along to the one for tots and he asks whether i have tots myself with some concern, and he recommends i go to his thing on the sunday.
        then he never came in again (i assume from pure shame)

        sexy_girl @incandenza_ | 30 May '12, 00:17 | X
        • you work in a book?

          gonna leave this thread and never come back, out of pure shame.

          incandenza_ @sexy_girl | 30 May '12, 00:37 | X
  • always ends well

    Body_In_The_Thames | 29 May '12, 23:44 | X
  • That sounds sad

    tbf, when you're working full time in a shop, you could be working with the fittest girl imaginable and you would be completely unattracted to her. Or at least I would be. I think it's just the drudgery and encroaching depression of it all. I mean, I would be lying if i said i hadn't thought about shagging one or two of them occasionally, but actually ever going out with anyone you work with in a shop just sounds horrendous.

    still_here | 30 May '12, 00:19 | X
    • am I the only person who wants to marry the fuck out of someone at most jobs that I've had?

      moousee @still_here | 30 May '12, 00:23 | X
      jp88 this'd this
      • office jobs?

        I agree with s_h*, work is so degrading/soul-destroying, and a huge part of attraction for me is circumstance.

        wouldn't be into her if we only ever met during epic sunsets, tbh.

        *not on the shagging bit. I'd never dream of getting with someone who didn't make me feel feelings other than 'I want to get with that, oh yeah'.

        incandenza_ @moousee | 30 May '12, 00:33 | X
  • definitely this

    thank you for corroborating my best instincts.

    incandenza_ @wishpig | 30 May '12, 00:27 | X
  • this sort of stuff's often just an ego trip for women, tbh.

    my advice would be to nip it in the bud early in a way which enables you to forever be the chasee, probably by just saying something like "Look, i'm sorry, but you're really just not very attractive at all" infront of at least one of her mates.

    forzaborza | 30 May '12, 01:07 | X
    • ...what purpose does the mate serve?

      also the jarring difference between your subject line and reply.

      incandenza_ @forzaborza | 30 May '12, 01:33 | X
      • agreed on the 'ego trip' idea, kind of

        why does anyone ever talk about fancying someone to other people (other than the object of affections).

        aside from genuine advice.

        you fancy soandso? oooooh, dish dish dish! fucking pointless gossipy dithering.

        incandenza_ @incandenza_ | 30 May '12, 01:38 | X
  • Yeah I hate when this ever, ever happens

    automatik | 30 May '12, 01:58 | X
    mute-branches and brusma this'd this
  • I GOT SOMETHING TO TELL YOU

    http://youtu.be/UjB5X4wrYsE

    Luis_Carruthers | 30 May '12, 03:50 | X
    this'd this
  • I'd feel really uncomfortable if someone in my work had a crush on me

    I am the only female in an office of 12 men.

    meowington | 30 May '12, 12:10 | X
    • Nah, I work in the city so they can just go outside and see real sexy ladies

      im a massive munt in work

      meowington @georgiabeth | 30 May '12, 12:20 | X
    • Thankfully I don't have this problem as everyone at my work despises me

      LordLuciusBanter | 30 May '12, 12:23 | X
      Epimer this'd this
      • Work?

        *Year 9.

        pichaelmarker | 30 May '12, 18:51 | X
      • I went out with someone I worked with a few years ago

        Fun: clandestine amour around the workplace

        Not fun: breaking up with her in the evening and then having an eight-hour shift together, just the two of us, literally the next morning

        automatik | 30 May '12, 20:32 | X
        • HAH!

          I mean, that's awful, I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

          but this is what I'm thinking, re: workplace relationships.

          although I'd definitely flake if there was someone I actually wanted to be with.

          incandenza_ @automatik | 30 May '12, 20:36 | X
      • :( I dont think I've ever had a secret admirer

        creakyknees | 31 May '12, 09:05 | X
        • ahh, it's not all that

          plus, how do you know? maybe they just harboured they feelings and never sent them out to sea, per se?

          incandenza_ @creakyknees | 31 May '12, 11:22 | X
          • they

            obviously I meant 'their'. though I am totally hood.

            incandenza_ @incandenza_ | 31 May '12, 11:24 | X
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