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Henry Winkler Biopic.
Club 18-30 documentary from the perspective of Dave, Greg, and two people called Steve.
The little brother of Maximus Meridius has one summer left to lose his virginity. Rated 18 extreme violence.
The story of David Cameron embarking on a documented journey to get figurine of himself in Hamleys.
Killer with an M.O for delivering illiterate facebook posts on victims' walls stalks a group of attractive young people.
Maximus is on the Lash, hunting for Shabs and Bants
see above ^
I feel like the Universe just broke.
teary drama showing the strifes and struggles Paul, a working class man encounters when owning a clock shop.
Jeff Bridges is a massive to cunt to several cowboys.
Following the death of their Pimp, Three Prostitutes go out for revenge...
Leonardo DiCaprio is unable to successfully get inside anyone's head. Hilarity is not forthcoming on any level.
After an unfortunate automobile accident, Al Pacino goes on a rampage
Infamous porn documentary banned in the UK
action filled movie from the beginning about William Wallaces desire to lead his men in to battle. And what are they fighting for? Thats right FOR THE RIGHT TO PARTY. Follow William along a whirlwind of adventures where he raves it up BIG TIME.
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away... Luke Skywalker finds himself in a sticky situation, with a long Road to walk along.
Will Smith goes around repeatedly messing up Tate gallery exhibits, assisted by Gene Hackman
There were dogs in the suitcase all along...
Margaret Thatcher stars in a rip-roaring Sci-Fi rollercoaster of a movie.
Al Pacino faces off against De Niro, a hat is involved but whose wearing it.
but i am
De Niro reprises his acclaimed role from Hat. Traumatised by the death of Pacino he tried to rebuild his life but everywhere he looks people's headwear serve as a horrible reminder of his past.
Kevin Bacon is crippled by gangrene
Moody minimal arthouse flick. More of an animated painting than a traditional film.
from Abe Lincoln to the Civil War. From the uprising of slavery and how it effected America. EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT AMERICA ON THIS SPECIAL 37 DISC EDITION. Get yours now!
The film of the war.
Matt Leblanc is unable to sell real estate on any of Jupiter's moons. 18: extreme sexual violence.
Feature length Michael Moore documentary where he searches for the beginnings of a subculture
The sequel to the acclaimed doc Finding Emo.
Brutally touching documentary about the struggles of an elderly model railway and gardening enthusiast, as dementia tightens it's grip.
Usain Bolt biopic.
Days before his assassination, Lincoln hits over 30 restaurants in only one week, unable to control his hunger pangs.
Urinal based thriller. Keanu Reeves has a bomb attached to him that is activated the moment he starts to take a slash. to stay alive he has to keep a steady stream of piss at all times.
...Are you... me?
An insight to a close group of friends appreciation of the abbreviation of words. Contains extreme violence.
Keanu Reeves has an embarrassing problem.
Something about Chris Rea
a botched poker game leads Vinnie Jones and Mr Sockie go on a series of jobs for Harry.
Alfred Hitchcock presents a terrifying tale of a nagging woman who just won't shut up.
Will Smith infiltrates the KKK wearing a disguise, join him on his quest to change their mind about their hatred and the finally when he reveals his true colour
A film about a film about a jacket. Kubrick's lost masterpiece.
Francis Ford Coppola's stirring anti-war film
A massive stoners sees life through new eyes when he kicks the habit
Guy Ritchie directs a Joe Satriani bio-pic with a fantastic title sequence. Stars Vinnie Jones and Goldie.
Maggie Gyllenhaal and Cementimental star in this grim tale of harsh twisted wrongness.
*wavs, I guess, if we're gonna be strict about it
An Agoraphobic Dr directs his sidekick Watson from his window to solve such crimes as speeding, littering and petty theft
Fuck it: I'm off
a comedic film about the difficulty of opening Baked Beans tins at night.
deported from country to country and feeling sorry for himself, Tommy Lee Jones finds himself walking along the road to nowhere with a shit load of heroin. Will he ever find true happiness?
Ellen Page gets pregnant during a game of the well known card game
Thora Birch and Scarlett Johansson vie for the attention of Steve Buscemi as hosts in the cut throat world of late night TV phone-on show presenters.
Magical childrens movie about two young friends who go into the forrest to find out the TREES ARE MADE OF BUBBLEGUM! Fantastic light-hearted family drama. Contains scenes of a sexual nature.
Heath Ledgers Wake
Summer sale time at B&Q
William Shatner catches a cold and sniffles for two hours.
... also available for bahmitzvahs
Thriller, charting the exploits of an ordinary working American who stumbles upon a prostitution ring gone very wrong
Chilling prediction of England in the near future, after greater devolution of power to local government has enabled a populist matriarchal uprising to take hold in West Yorkshire led by misandrist lesbian separatists intent on driving out all men over the age of 40.
Quirky boy-meets-girl romcom set in the ancient Asiatic city
Austerity: we're all in this together...
Laugh-out-loud comedy in which Cillian Murphy struggles to hold down a job due to his dreadful time-keeping skills and early-onset Alzheimers.
A grammatically suspect tale of the beautiful homoerotic love between two amateur mountaineers
a group of chavy cockney soldiers search Normandy for Private Ryan, a lad that owes one of them a tenner, and they're going to give him a good kicking if they find him.
4Chan still largely single.
A pig is brought up in an entirely fabricated version of reality, and becomes increasingly paranoid that the world is watching.
Boat scene at the end is somewhat preposterous but a tearjerker nonetheless.
The Big Man Upstairs returns to Earth as a David Bowie-inspired glam rock star in the 1970s.
The trials and tribulations of aging roller derby girls with prosthetic joints.
de Niro stars in another shite comedy
Adult Entertainment Movie. Contains unsettling scenes.
Whatever you do, don't sit down.
A story about the events leading up to inevitable pain Antonio Banderas suffers from wearing his boots for far too long.
Collymore and his mate go dogging
A math club based raunchy comedy where it isn't just the numbers being taken down
a binman rescues a teenage girl whose parents were killed in a police raid.
A story of smalltown ambition that grows into slightly larger ambition yet is still decidedly modest.
Takes place at a rave attended by the most superficial people in existence.
in a distant future on an abandoned planet earth, a wall.
A meek and alienated little boy finds a stash of methamphetamine. He has to find the courage to defy the authorities and learn to fly a BMX
Cary Grant is in a phone booth, with Katharine Hepburn's sniper-rifle trained to his forehead. She lets him have one phone-call. He dials in the number of the person he trusts the most...but on the other end of the line is...a leopard! Heavens!
Launch pad fire kills all crew members before the rocket even takes off
Just when you thought it was safe to speed on the highway, it was. Rob is pretty easy going about it.
James Cameron's incredible racist musical take on Romeo and Juliet.
Just a DvD with loads of alternate endings.
The future of the euro-zone
Female skateboarding docu-drama.
quite tall man described
Appropriately voyeuristic adaptation of the cult comic about a self-obsessed retired superhero unashamedly vying for the viewer's complete attention.
A young man from New Zealand has to deal with mummy issues, new love...and a Biblical deluge of Special K
When a fucking big kitchen extraction system gets all clogged or something, can that kid who was Short Round in the indie films save the day?
documentary following a man in his early 20's with only one passion. A passion for THE ARMY.
Psychological Thriller revolving around an intense children's game
Matt Dillon and his gang of addicts criss-cross the country ransacking Allied Carpets warehouses until he decides to go straight - but Axminsters aren't as easy to give up as he thinks.
One word. Made of water. It's called water.
a film about my mum. <3
An orphaned boy arrives at the door of the Trio, his destiny is to deliver hovis bread on his bike, can the trio help t'lad get up t'hill
Los Angeles citizens with vastly separate lives collide in interweaving stories of race, loss and redemption when they all contract a mutilating rash.
Fernando Rey and his middle-class chums only want some privacy to cut scars into their wrists, but struggle to retain their dignity as they are continually denied even this
Leaves it too late in the film to make a positive change but the fake orgasms are triffic.
Jewish religious gets framed for murder. With hilarious consequences.
sensitive documentary shows the lives of some horrible octopus faced monsters and the men who love them.
A beer-swilling twentysomething sports science student gets cockblocked. Cursing, he girds his katana...
When a boy wishes to be bi at a magic wish machine, he wakes up the next morning and finds himself in bed with a lady and a fella. And they're not ma or pa.
Young children team up to perform a vitally important operation to remove Arnold Schwarzenegger's appendix. Contains scenes of excessive violence and unnecessary incisions.
70s act Boney M have really let go
Creationist action flick, directed by Roland Emmerich
Evolutionary prehistoric golfing documentary, directed by Kevin Costner
Can a plucky underdog lump of naturally occurring solid aggregate of minerals and/or mineraloids challenge for a boxing title?
In the not too distant future, Sam Rockwell is a dairy farmer who likes to chat to his animals in the way they are accustomed.
Infamously bad film about a young footballer who sees his world fall apart when his friends begin to betray him one-by-one.
Moving Sundance Festival nominee about a bird and his trainer.
Al Pacino IS...Bigwig
Bitumen on Bitumen action.
Andy reacts to negative reaction to a change of spelling of his name with a peaceful prostest.
in case that wasn't clear and you thought that was a careless typo
William Hurt and Joaquin Phoenix play a pair of aggressive MCs who - as it happens - were dead all along.
A young girl seeks the help of a professional assassin to take revenge on an energy company for their extortionate prepayment meter tariffs which she believes contributes to fuel poverty.
Johnny Depp stars as indie band member Alan Starhawk, who gets mixed up in a Mexican cocaine smuggling ring.
A biopic of the blind egyptian sun god who became a succesful blues musician.
'Arry tries to teach an immature Mr Ford some manners in this buddy comedy to end all buddy comedies (also features a talking financial advisor dog)
bloke tries to get the rights to yorkshire tea or sumert, ya tart.
A group of characters get rich through racism.
A series of interconnecting stories in various countries, each of which has somethign to do with a really hot pig.
Francis Ford Coppola's acclaimed film follows the character of a father who, on the day of his daughter's wedding, does a series of odd things including:
- Spitting at birds.
- Burning an effigy of Enya at the wedding reception.
- Saying 'please' where he should say 'thank you', and vice versa.
- Claiming to be Vangelis and brutally slaying anyone who disputes this.
- Winking seductively at empty seats.
Wee Oirisih filum set in County Cork abowt geng violence ya big bollocks.
Thrilling story of tween girls playing "Never have I ever."
scientists on a remote station in Antarctica run out of food and slowly starve to death. Incredible special effects.
James Bond has to battle against a threat within Mi6, he never thought it would end up being his manager.
Andy Warhol's timeless film about the fish of the Chelsea Hotel.
First day on the job and it wont stop raining. Miserable day all round for rookie cop.
A big cute friendly shark makes friends at the beach, We're going to need a bigger hug
A mishmash of fish swim off to try and find a one-finned cod, last seen wearing a Funeral for a Friend band T and listening to early My Chemical Romance.
A hero police dog is shunned by the forces and left to carry out demoralising school visits. He angrily takes revenge by going after the officers who let him professionally rot away, can Officer Dooley (played again by an ageing James Belushi) track him down and make him become (Innocent) Mans best friend again
Robson Green finally makes the leap to the big screen in this Channel 5 funded blockbuster.
M loses her job at Mi6 due to Bonds constant shenanigans. Bond has to grow up and get her job back.
An informative look from the Russian side Of Rocky IV, with key interviews leading up to the main bout
Maltese snooker player Tony gets a colonoscopy.
After a tiger escapes from Moscow Zoo, the Rocky foe is called in to stealthily sneak up behind it, then punch it in the face hard lots of times.
Greed, deception, money, power, and murder occur between two mobster best friends and a trophy wife over a digital wrist watch.
Poor cash-in sequel following the action as the curse spreads to the halls of Buckingham Palace after a royal servant buys the watch from an antique shop in Chinatown.
Belle, whose father is imprisoned by the East, offers herself instead and is brutally executed.
Brandon Lee returns from the grave to settle an argument with his wife about just who left the bloody oven on.
Bolton defender Tim reflects on his bitterly short Premiership career.
A heinous rash and its aftermath are recalled from differing points of view.
You could've set it in Jamaica if you'd spelled it properly.
A Really really great Ox
One single talking Car slowly goes insane in a lonely world.
A cheeky ladybird's tiny fib escalates with hilarious consequences!
After being caught by the police on several occasions 'servicing' his car, Caractacus Pott played by Dick Van Dyke, takes up residence with the child catcher, join them both with dealing with the prejudices and backlashes they face from the community after both being sentenced for sex crimes
christopher nolan directs this dark tale of a telecoms engineer bent on ridding the city of sub par broadband speeds
Oliver is a poor orphan boy... and a bit of an idiot...
lindsay lohan struggles to cope with high school life as a transvestite
After becoming obsessed with Last of the Summer Wine, Richard Dreyfuss makes a pilgrimage to Morecambe to make contact with Dame Thora Hird. Contains mashed potato.
A Child becomes a millionaire through enlisting his mathematical dog.
Kevin Spacey shacks up with a suburban American family, insisting he's the Pope
a helpful guide to a better sex life
A lovely princess is trapped in a tower but her prince charming cannot save her unless he solves a series of increasingly difficult geometry problems. Thrilling!
only way an inmate can break the monotony of prison life is through online auction sites
A church's idea to double it's christening revenue gets off to a slow start.
A French television presenter makes a macabre discovery in his home - two Nurofen and a sinister note. A mysterious and unsettling campaign of pain relief begins, culminating in a confrontation with a disenfranchised immigrant who downs a whole tube of aspirin in front of him. It turns out that when they were very young, they not only knew each other, but the television presenter had a habit of hiding the Calpol whenever the immigrant's migraines were at their most piercing. Contains ambiguous final shot involving their own kids and a Band-Aid
She comes from an inaccesible world of wealth and class. He's an outdated form of civic public transportation.
Can their love conquer the obvious physiological limitations of their relationship? Clearly not.
Colin Farrell hops around a town square looking worried
[user banned by wishpig]
white men cant ump
Follow Steve Bucknor (Cuba Gooding Jr.) on his quest to prove he is the best cricket umpire in the world. Also starring Nicholas Cage as Billy Bowden.
A young girl finds something that shouldn't be there.. A third nipple
Wayne and Garth leave the basement in order to make a documentary about a limestone hill in the south west of England.
misspelled biopic of everyones favourite ex blue peter presenter
Angry residents confront neighbouring chemists demanding they sound-proof the buildings where they conduct research into new explosives.
She's from royalty, being wooed by suitors from far and wide.
He's a landbound mist rolling in from the sea containing the murderous ghosts of a wronged leper colony.
If she kisses him, will he turn into her Prince Charming?
Silence of the labs
PhD student snaps whilst writing up his thesis and proceeds to kill and eat every research scientist in the building.
A sultry women (Basinger) has a pest control problem, mice keep eating her Dairylea. She hires an assassin rat (Rourke) who she has an affair with. The scene of him munching her Gorgonzola reamains banned in Italy.
Insane, mind-expanding trip through exploding frogs, haircutting rituals, secret world rulers and a group of middle-class adults seeking enlightenment only to find that the mystical peak they have ascended is being used as a training base by the GB Olympic cycling team
harmless prankster Norman Bates likes nothing more than dressing up in women's clothing and simply scaring the shit out of motel residents when they're in the shower.
brad pitt and morgan freeman struggle to find anything decent to watch on netflix
Simba grows bored of his humdrum savannah lifestyle, so he goes and beats the shit out of a warthog and a meerkat before blowing up his parents' lair
Brave Spartan King Leonidas takes a dramatically under-manned army in a frankly idiotic attempt at defending his kingdom.
Heartwarming tale about a princess of a wide area network.
The heartbreaking prequel about a local area network serving no discernable purpose in a pre-historic age.
Will Darren Fletcher stick to his GP recommended diet and be able to resume his playing career?
David Fincher's procedural drama following crack squad of copyright lawyers as the investigate and prosecute The Pirate Bay.
Neil Codling from Suede stars as a soldier in the American Civil War. Hilarity ensues.
The lads adventure weekend in the yorkshire dales is ruined when Paul is sick in the morning after a heavy night out in Skipton. They do the decent thing and cancel the caving expedition.
Peck and Hepburn return in an incredibly dull romcom, that is not at all hindered by religious Middle-Eastern sexism, because apparently "The modern Omani woman enjoys a wide array of civil and political liberties".
Michael J Fox and Christopher Lloyd head home and watch some Portuguese football.
Follow the fictionalised account of Bill Giles, Mccaskill and 'Fish' in an economically depressed Glasgow in search of that big forecast that could make them all rich.
Featuring Robert Carlyle as 'Kettley'
Frank comes out of retirement to fight Karl Lagerfeld at Paris Fashion Week.
Porno remake of the Patrick Swayze classic.
Pickfords help Father Christmas shift his stuff.
Ray Winstone, everyone's favourite Sex Beast, is an abusive Deptford alcoholic who can only communicate through glyphs etched onto butterfly wings
Jane Horrocks stars as a socially anxious gripping tool with hidden talents
Truffaut's classic featuring a French schoolboy who does not know how to respond politely to praise
I ain't gettin' in no drain
The inhabitants of a remote Scottish island strip a shipwreck of its cargo and make the lightest, fluffiest meringues.
Shop clerk Ash mistakes animated characters for deadites. With frankly upsetting consequences.
Terrible remake of John Carpenter classic with action relocated to the West Indies.
Sarah Jessica Parker stars in this ill-considered anorexia comedy.
and you're already in my top three posters.
Arnold Schwarzenegger wears a stole.
Clark Gable gets all 6 numbers on the main draw and decides to move house
sci-fi mystery which reveals the secret behind KennyDope's fictitious child
Indiana Jones needs to escape the Nazis, so he inappropriately uses a sacred object as a form of transport
a sound engineer has a tricky night
Charlie Kaufman's harrowing Vietnam war epic in which middle aged screenwriter C Cough Mann (Nicholas Cage) desperately tries to sell his harrowing Vietnam war epic script to director Stan Lee Cubic.
part robot, part vegetable*, 100% unstoppable
*technically speaking i believe it's a fruit
italian food which gets bigger the more it lies
Jim Carrey stars in this comedy romp, where every single thing he stumbles across provokes a tenuous scatalogical reference.
An army general discovers that just by making one leg shorter than the other, he can chill out more.
is a 1985 science-fiction movie set and filmed in and around Holmfirth, West Yorkshire.
a film which claims to show that Robert Mugabe has done wonderful things for his country
an Otter called Harry discovers an underwater cave, full of delicious fish
the Italians riot cos Claire Danes decides to move house
vagabond befriends an ancient japanese military commander
A married woman realizes how unhappy her marriage really is, and decides to embark on a string of affairs with opportunistic restaurateurs around the world.
arnold schwarzenegger and danny devito form an unlikely bond whilst working in a campbell's soup factory
About a mischievous boy who's just started a catering apprenticeship.
After a bitter divorce, an actress disguises herself in jeans and a Morrissey tour t-shirt to spend secret time with her children.
after an unfortunate accident charlton heston must retire from chariot racing and take up a job in human resources
The aftermath of China's planet-destroying Death Sar virus
the rising popstar kidnaps a baby, with animatronic consequences!
A revealing account of Captain Haddock's adventures. Based on the graphic novel.
very clever :D
Documentary. A man gets lost in the street and is savagely beaten while searching for his favourite roll-ups.
'Young Albert' enlists to serve in World War I after his beloved hose are sold.
A flasher in Portsmouth decides to earn money by charging for his services.
Adam Sandler gets a magic dog who can do whatever he wants. Shot all in one take
James Stewart spies on his neighbours from his home inside the head of a giant.
New York City, a neighbourhood nuisance is arrested for anti social behaviour, nuff said
but i feel it could double in size once the day shift gets going. starring will smith.
Jaden Smiths in an aspirational feature length
An Irish mammy grows 4 extra limbs but finds that even this doesn't make raising 8 children any easier.
A group of college friends have a reunion on a mountaintop. Jeff Goldblum is the first to get pushed off. William Hurt snickers. Who will be next?
Docudrama about Canadians who like to run through shopping malls naked.
Jeff Bridges plays an aging Hippie who bowls for both teams. So to speak.
Students sent to detention are mauled by a young grizzly bear.
After a deadly virus strikes the water supply, fathers around the world become zombies, killing their promiscuous daughters' boyfriends.
Terrifying 50-yr-old men walk the earth, wearing tan chinos & deck shoes, cracking terrible jokes and air-guitaring the solo from Sultans of Swing
The unreleased personal sexual escapades of Princess Diana.
French woman raised in a whorehouse wants to get married at a Japandroids concert.
Second part of the Princess Diana sex tapes.
you got me again.
a thrilling tale of golf and veloceraptors based on the 18 hole course Isla Sorn
"It's Godzilla meets Happy Gilmore" one critic said
The violent story of a man with tinnitus and his 3 mouthy daughters.
Michael Eavis joins forces with MTV powerhouse Butthead (of Beavis & Butthead) in an attempt to set up a music festival in the USA and all is well until Bono pulls out his back just weeks before the festival is scheduled to start.
Brooklyn hoodlums by day, gang members dance at a gay nightclub at night. (Musical)
Tale of a APP designer going by the name of Gilmore trying to come up for the perfect APP on Apples Ipad
Documentary about the Hells Angels and their love for Harley-Davidson motorcycles
Wiki fact - Misspelling of title is due to legal issues where Harley-Davidson didn't wish to be associated with the Hells Angels as they thought it would be detrimental to their new family friendly image.
A girl with a messiah complex crashes parties of the rich and famous.
A tale of an ageing snooker player [John Virgo] currently Cueless, so he goes to the shop and buys a new cue
Story of a black detective who shits his pants when he gets into a jam. Theme song is still pretty great.
A real time Movie, in space & in the morning!
Prequel to Charles Dickens 'Christmas Carol' this incredibly graphic Movie is a deep thought provoking social commentary following a poverty stricken attempting to conceive for a child they cannot possibly afford to support.
I'm off. x
The public are aghast as various inanimate objects are inserted into the big-chinned football pundit.
Eric Clapton dons THAT mask and goes on a killing spree.
a young Christian Bale must stop Kofi Annan from achieving world domination
Carey Mulligan stars in a coming-of-age story about a teenage girl in 1960s suburban London who has trouble learning grammatical articles
Michael Cera stars as a young man battling to defeat his girlfriend's seven evil range of hills consisting of chalk and limestone in Lincolnshire and Yorkshire.
Richard Dreyfus plays a high school music teacher struggling with a nasty infection
A dark twisted sequel to Tron where Clu creates a Street Fighter 2 tournament against Tron.
An in depth analysis of the physics of river barriers
Bruce Willis helps Haley Joel Osment track down evil Jedis; turns out he was dead the whole time
After a 'hilarious' cameo in the above film, civil partners Darths Maul and Sidious get their own action/comedy offshoot.
Typically misguided Hollywood 'gay' humour aplenty from the Adam Sandler production team including a cringeworthy camp look at the camera from Sidious whenever the subject of Maul's double-ended lightsabre comes up.
I think this amy be the worst film ever conceived.
in the ill advised 'threequel' a newly single Darth Sidious is appointed to the US Senate where he struggles to hide his sexuality in the face of political corruption; turns out he was dead the whole time
American army servicemen in Cuba with crippling OCD wake up every morning, make their cereal and then can't help but watch the bits float around in the milk. For hours.
In Charlie Chaplin's first attempt at psychological horror, the little tramp gets a job as a test subject for Sigmund Freud (playing himself). As the film, inspired by German expressionism, descends inside the tramp's mind we finally discover the origins for his strange walk and his obsession with kicking policemen up the arse.
Chaplin returns to comedy for the sequel! Freud accidentally debunks his own theories and desperately tries to re-prove them before it's too late!
A child's astonishment at the schools sports day.
brightonb / kennydope stars in this film about kids, ipads and eating boiled eggs.
single parent gangster Ray Winstone struggles to balance the responsibilities of child care and debt collection over the course of an evening
a wannabe superhero takes on nazi germany
Sacha Baron Cohen's famed mockumentary featuring a spoiled child trying to come to terms with the poverty of the Eastern world
follow up mockumentary featuring the 2nd largest city in the Czech Republic. Not as well received as Brat
Al Gore makes a complete fool of himself alongside Martin Freeman.
Sacha Baron Cohen is accused of scraping the bottom of the comedy barrel as he makes 90 minute movie about an amusingly shaped tuber.
Pats on backs all round.
documentary: a look at the everyday tribulations facing bisexual forest animals.
After world war two the allied powers relocate the European Jewish people to Australia, and a fence is erected to control the effect that this growing populoation is having on the local eco-system.
Will Smith stars as the harbinger of the french apocalypse
Pop-culture referencing thriller following the tensions within a group of computer programmers who have just committed the biggest hack of their career.
Film about a fucking stupid elephant.
Still a shit title
An impossible friendship blossoming in the midst of the most horrific war the world has seen. By the one think on Bruno's mind is: why is Shmuel always wearing that 'What's the Frequency, Kenneth?' t-shirt?
good work, everyone :D
KennyDope realises too late that Apple are, very literally, the future
5 hour epic in which German sailors jump out and frighten people
the lonely life of a german spammer
A retrospective account of PM Thatcher's wild coke and hooker binges during the 1980s.
After the collapse of Stark Industries, and a discovery of financial irregularities in the pension fund, Tony Stark has to leave behind his Iron Man suit, and adopt a new identity as a used car salesman in Reno, while trying to prove his innocence and build a new suit from parts of old Cadillacs.
A carrot with the ability to ignore the three laws of root vegetables causes havoc in Chicago
A young boy living in a train station in 1930s Paris needs a loving embrace
Eels frontman plots to take over the world
Art-house concept piece consisting of a 3 second still of Guy Pearce looking puzzled.
The duo must return home from the Quick Stop convenience store using 3-wheeled transport
Will Smith stars as Jet Li in this riveting biopic.
Jess Eisenberg comes to realise that in a very real way, he is the coin stuck in the cetacean intestinal tract that is his parent's marriage.
A group of prostitutes avenge the death of their pimp in this gritty revenge thriller.
Dr. Dre loses his eyesight in a gouging incident with Snoop Dogg, thus heightening his other senses, and giving him the ability to smell a hit
Ricky GErvais's daringly un-PC sci-fi comedy pokes fun at society's attitude to the handicapped and is in no way a cynical excuse for him to laugh at other people's misery (honest!).
Liam Neeson tries to help some Jews. Some Nazis find out and douse him in petrol.
James Bond finally meets his match... in the form of crippling arthritis.
Captain Sensible gets the band back together for one last gig.
Des Lynam runs for President
Newly inaugurated President Des Lynam struggles in his first term of office due to a complete lack of political experience.
Fire Walk With M - James Bond's latest challenge
The Fat And The Furious - Morgan Spurlock's latest documentary on American Dietary fads
My Left Foo - A curious film in which Dave Grohl shows us his new drumming technique without using his hands
The Thin- A shapeshifting alien causes havoc in a weight-watchers retreat in Alaska
The Hills Have Yes - Landslide victory in a rural setting for the democrats
Ad Max - Mel Gibson drives around the Australian desert trying to make sense of the Fosters logo on his roof
The Itch - Joan Collins visits an STD clinic after a wild weekend
Bi - Tom Hanks makes a wish at the fairground and is soon making out with everyone
Airspray - Divine in one of his latter roles espousing the need for a cleaner, brighter smell around your apartment
Plane of The Apes - Heston has his work cut out trying to wrestle the controls of a DC10 from the cold dead hands of Dr Zeus
The life and times of the former England manager.
A tough cop's (Sylvester Stallone) seemingly frail mother (Estelle Getty) comes to stay with him and progressively interferes in his life whilst believing she is an owl.
Jason Statham is on a computer, feverishly ordering his favourite albums and songs of each year from 1960 onwards. But what will happen when he reaches 2012? Featuring an uproarious scene where he discusses in full public view the relative merits of US and UK post-punk with Amy Smart
something about radiohead/weezer albums?
Macaulay Culkin embarks on S+M relationship with Joe Pesci. Involves kitchen appliances, blow torches and MicroMachines.
Seth MacFarlane animates his favourite US commercials.
Have I Got News Or You?
Angus Deayton has taken a hostage. But is it today's broadsheets or your own body?
Lena Dunham sits around writing her journal.
it's the same show, with slightly less drama
Mcnulty is REALLY pissed off.
How Clan is your house?
Kim & Aggie go to several student lodgings, finding out whether people can trace their ancestry back to pre-clearances Scotland.
a group of people discuss the little nuisances of life and decide to form a rock group about them
Hugh Laurie discusses the finer points of lawn care
Bryan Cranston really smells
A man talks to his mum at length about his own birth
Under the single-minded leadership of
their Colonel (Alec Guinness at his
best as the officer driven slowly mad),
British prisoners in a Japanese P.O.W.
camp plan the wedding of their newly insane officer and a tree.
A moving drama about the life of a woman in 19th century London who gives birth to an Elephant
a postgraduate student, who doesn't play by the rules but gets results, battles with the tutors over his theory that elephants played a much larger role in the causes of the First World War than was previously thought.
follow the ecapades of this cheeky downtrodden dog who lives in a resovoir.
Bruce Campbell in a career best performance as a private investigator (with a really big chin) who uncovers a web of corruption and murder in 1930s LA.
Action/comedy featuring the adventures of a roughed up heroic piece of bacteria living in Michael Keaton's face.
Cronenbergian body horror about a virus which mutates the facial features of the people afflicted with it so that they resemble those of football pundit Jimmy Hill.
a mighty oak dreams of becoming a distance runner, in vain, because it's a tree.
because of the brilliant central concept. It MUST exist already.
made by some film student, somewhere.
because you just film some arty shots of jogger running past a tree, and dub in the voice of the tree. guaranteed A.
projecting existential angst onto the bark
something something Games Workshop.
No "with rising prices of rent in city centres, kurt russell works his vest off to set up an all day warhammer tournament for under 15's in Croydon"?
Snake Plisskin is sent by the government to play bass guitar for 1990s pre-google named indie punk band and from there must create artistic differences in order to split the band up.
Sigourney Weaver finds herself cloned on a secret military station in the outer rims of space, and asked to explain some tricky legal jargon on a contract she'd negotiated 300 years previously. Ron Perlman fusses over indemnity clauses.
Family go on holiday to a remote log cabin only to find out that the dad is really mean and won't let them do anything fun.
without going into unnecessary incest. Congrats
Jim Carrey goes around completing tasks to a good standard.
Frustrating game of hide and seek in olde days
Richard E Grant suffers an existential crisis after a succession of buxom new recruits appear unwilling to go the extra mile to win that promotion.
David Cameron discovers the secret to eternal life whilst on holiday in the Seychelles.
Jodie Foster tries to save a powerpoint presentation onto a memory cartidge, only to discover that it's read only.
Michael Crichton-penned techno-thriller about a memory cartridge that develops opinions on world affairs.
Woman dates decapitation victim.
He comes from a wealthy family and is about to be married into aristocracy.
While practising his wedding vows in the forest he puts the ring onto a skeletal finger that happens to be sticking out of the ground.
However the skeletal finger turns out to actually be.... an upturned root!
but I'd like to point out how damn clever this one is. If I'd put this up last night everyone would have been completely on my dick.
A bounty hunting scam joins two men in an uneasy alliance against a third in a race to find a fortune in gold buried in a remote cemetery, which, unfortunately for the Bad and the Ugly, is heavily weighted in favour of the only involved who happens to be omnipotent
meta comedy about a 1980s skinheads struggling to construct a plot for a film based on a new of range of stuffed toys.
...and given the spelling I'd imagine one of them is Jewish ala Ryan Gosling in The Believer?
the comma negated my search :(
Robert De Niro and Al Pacino finally appear on screen together, have an amiable chat over lunch in a nearby diner
Harrowing animated documentary in which reputable journalist Martin Bashir meets charismatic ex-Scotland manager Walter Smith. Banned in Lebanon.
A man experiences a personal crisis as he nears the end of a three-year solitary stint mining helium-3 on the far side of the Earth's moon. He goes a bit mad and thinks he's a cow.
Like Aliens, but set as a prequel.
Michael Cain is confused to find himself in deep space trying to have sex with hostile creatures from another planet.
by eating Peruvian college rugby players?
A stunt driver tries to make the world men only by running over ladies.
The Fonz battles the undead. Guest appearances by Potsy and Chachi.
Jay and Silent Bob enter the murky underworld of illegal boxing in London - with hilarious results.
Johnny Depp struggles with an itchy arsehole and bollocks after sleeping around following his break from Vanessa Paradis.
[I couldn't possibly do justice to this, can someone else fill it in?]
Green Day drummer divides critics and audiences by prattling on about nothing in particular for 2 and a bit hours.
Tragic docu-film about a paralysed man and his attempts to re-ignite his sex life.
a nostalgic look back at the writing of the Criminal Justice Bill.
Snaks On A Plane
- Samuel L Jackson complains bitterly about having to pay for an in-flight meal.
- Part man, Part wind instrument, all cop
O'Malley the alley cat attempts to tell the filthiest joke wait this doesn't work
As a birthday present, Tom Cruise gets to spend the afternoon at a race track, but the weather puts a dampener on proceedings (literally).
Old jewish man spins a yarn of frustration
wrightylew compiles a list of rules for how to deal with zombie attacks and embarks on a hilarious bants-filled tour of post-apocalyptic America. Contains nudity.
a tenacious lawyer has to battle not only the heirarchy of the US army, but also Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, in order to save his client.
despite being ravaged by tuberculosis, John Keats is forced to work in construction. Find out how he derives poetry from his suffering in this factually fast-and-loose sequel.
Jerry Seinfeld sets out to find the hardest-to-spread margarine on the face of the earth.
A hungry Tony Hopkins stars alongside De Niro and Stiller in this delicious franchise crossover.
Rosamund Pike strikes up an unlikely partnership with Liverpool's own Purple AKI in this rip-roaring Egyptian caper.
Sick of hearing Scottish bra tycoon Michelle Mone pontificating on The Apprentice You're Fired, Woody Allen plots to abduct her to bring about her swift replacement by Alvin Hall.
That boy Rick Deckard, he'll shag who he wants! 18+.
but my god, lots of them deserve it
Patrick Swayze and Keanu Reeves take some time off from filming and go to the pub.
Dame Judi Dench stars in a remake of the chronicling of the last seven days of Laura Palmer.
An alien turns up on earth and instead of phoning home, he gets high as a fucking kite. A young Drew Barrymore stars.
alien pities the fool who phones home
I ain't gettin on no bmx, fool
a crime thriller as the late spanish golfer investigates a series of murders on the pga tour
The final installment of the Twilight saga sees vampires torturing some guy called Dan for vital information.
Martin Sheen and Sissy Spacek fail to down their pints, are respectful towards women.
Vincent Gallo plays a hapless Russian entrepreneur.
Oliver Reed receives dirty looks from a bitchy Vanessa Redgrave.
Documentary about life as an Evian employee.
Tommy Wisseau attempts to run a SNES emulator, orders pizza, shoots self.
Really fucking slow film.
Oh, hang on
Assassination of Serbian Archduke precipitates 4-year European bloodbath.
Minor cast member stars as villain in sequel.
It *is* a tumour
Obsolete operating system is lured out of retirement for one last job.
"Boot sector code loads the start of the DOS-BIOS, which is located in the file IO.SYS on MS-DOS systems, into segment 0000h:0600h - and in some cases the boot sector instead relocates itself into 0000h:0600h and loads the partition boot code into 0000h:7C00h and executes it!!" - The New Yorker
A group of lefties are temporary stopped from being let into glastonbury.
Host World - Jonathan Ross, Terry Wogan & Michael Parkinson mooch around town, drinking coffee and being mean to teenage girls.
Ed Woo: Johnny WACKY Depp is cast against type in this all-action, hard-boiled cop thriller that also stars a dog.
Acho Libre: tubby funster Jack Black sneezes a lot.
O, the Right Thing: Spike Lee masterpiece reinterpreted as Shakespeare farce.
The City of OST Children: Chilling documentary following a group of kids who can instinctively play the works of John Williams on any give instrument.
And, adding a letter...
Drivel: a load of boring old shit with people driving artfully along storm drains. Oh.
Boris Johnson visits Japan and makes a series of hilariously inappropriate racist comments.
7 hours of Stan Collymore dancing his way around a Hungarian village.
Bleak, austere meditation on the futility of existence in which a horse pisses for ages.
Michael Fassbender gets his knob out. Again.
can true love overcome cultural and linguistic barriers when a British woman starts going out with a man from northeast China? Starring Carey Mulligan and Jackie Chan. Contains stereotypes.
K+, Na+, Ca2+ and Mg2+ try to blow up the London Marathon, with entropic results.
Shaun Ryder decides to just have a quiet night in.
Johnny Depp reads aloud from KennyDope's daughter's journal, all the while theorising on who truly authored the work.
Jay & Silent Bob are diagnosed with epilepsy.
Hundreds of men called Will go on the run from an omnipotent, omniscient adversary. Their odds don't look good.
Fly-on-the-wall music documentary chronicling the last days of Bob Marley. The price of fame is revealed as the reggae legend tries to escape legions of fans, hangers-on and journalists, to enjoy one last quiet spliff.
Living the easy life in a Spanish villa, 70s disco diva Gloria Gaynor is lured out of retirement for one last job.
When a handsome millionaire's wife hits menopause and becomes really picky & vindictive, the fun's just starting!
The American folk-influenced Modernist composer returns home from a concert tour to discover strange things happening to his women...
An aspiring young doctor raised in an orphanage starts drinking cider through a hosepipe along with his contemporaries in order to prepare for uni binging and being LADS OI OI OI *darts theme*
A TV chef goes off the rails and announces his intention to instigate a cultural revolution based around stir fried food.
The year is 990 AD and King Ethelred The Unready faces a battle on two fronts. The Normans are attacking from the south and the Danes from the east, bringing their awful brand of Eurodance with them. The London live scene appears doomed.
But across the big water, in a practice room somewhere just north of Cherokee County, Sonic Youth are recording some demos that are about to change everything...
King Leonidas has one of those 'oh shit' moments as he turns up to fight the Persians at Thermopylae in 480 B.C., realising that he has drastically over-estimated the courage and heroism of his special forces unit.
The intrepid explorer goes on his most dangerous mission yet: To enter the fear-inducing Dick and Dom bungalow and navigate the perilous Baby Race, cross the blood-curdling Pass of Bogeys, in order to free Su Pollard from a cage in the attic.
Will Smith helps other men woo women in a sadistic attempt to cause an outbreak of crabs in his neighbourhood.
Louis Theroux assesses the psychological impact on a regular American guy of the minor celebrity status gained simply by having a similar name to a Hollywood star.
His filing cabinet contains nothing but files. He wears a wry half-smile and a T-Shirt emblazoned with the logo "No H!!". He isn't John Malkovich. He is just being Jon Malkovich.
A young Johnny Depp is being devoured by an oversized fedora. For 2 hours.
Veteran DiSer trains as a witch, delivers cakes to old ladies to "impress Croatian mates."
Heartwarming documentary about a retired balloon seller's battle with incontinence.
Documentary on the Labour leader's first 18 months in charge.
Recently bereaved uphill gardening enthusiast Dwina Gibb seeks solace and consolation... in hard-slamming backdoor action!
"Closure" is the LAST thing on her mind
Pierce Brosman fails at playing Taboo.
Matthew Perry stars as a man obsessed with John Malkovich, he has only the Microsoft search engine to find out as much as he can before his broadband provider pulls the plug.
End it like Beckham. Depressing documentary about the David Beckham suicide cults of Brazil.
Acclaimed documentary where a post-op Natalie Cassidy conducts a thorough examinatiion of the personality types that have won awards at the Sundance Festival.
Hapless, lovable dude has to get Russell Brand to a meeting with Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory. With sexy results.
the Apatow connection would have inspired me to make 800,000 words worth of 'Freaks & Geeks' references.
A trivial comedy for seriously limp people.
On Question time, Peter Hain baffles his fellow panelists and the viewing public by refusing to speak English, only French
The second series of films shouldn't have happened.