"A very loud, fat, greasy,unattractive, chav-type woman
wearing a Newcastle United top walked into ASDA in Sunderland with her two umpalumpa kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way
through the entrance.
The ASDA greeter said pleasantly, "Good morning Madam, and
welcome to ASDA. Nice children you have there. Are they twins by
The ugly fat woman stopped yelling long enough to say,
"F*ckin ell whye na, they're not twins yer twat. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the f*ckin ell would you think they're
twins? Are you blind, thick, stupid, or just a f*ckin cheese
"I'm neither blind nor stupid, Madam," replied
the greeter, "I just couldn't believe you've been shagged
twice. Have a good day, and thank you for shopping at ASDA." "