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Goose offensive definitely the most harrowing
and am now doing better than that thundercunt of a goose could ever have imagined. I'm probably more successful than it now.
probably a cat at some point.
Do you think they have bad eyesight? Is that why they like the light? I'm not even joking. I think I'm right.
Was all a bit distressing.
- Goose was trying to attack my sister, aged 7 or 8 at the time, and I drove it off using a large stick like a spear. My most heroic moment, haven't matched it since. Goose unharmed.
- The Donkey was at a Donkey Santuary in Devon (great place), and it took a liking to my wallet in my front pocket. It proceeded to lick my right pocket and then headbutt me in the balls. Maybe it was coming on to me, idk. Fucking hurt though. Wins award for most pain.
But if my most heroic moment is keeping a goose at bay using a stick then my most middle class moment is the time I shepherded a very confused bat out of my bedroom using two badminton rackets.
Better than "Hats" (I'd say it to your face too Smee). I have noticed almost all of my threads involve geese though for some reason
But I won't lie to you, Balonz has definitely taken your spot.
Can I say that we're auditioning fat people here? I don't know where else to say it.
Do they have to make physical contact? What if you're so nimble that you escape, does that still count as an attack?
I need more groundrules or I'm withdrawing my contribution.
but I constantly feel like I've been mugged by them when they fly directly at my face when I'm walking past a pretty lady
it was the best
maybe it should be called "Animals you have attacked and been beaten to a bloody pulp by"
the hornet stung me in the neck. couldn't move for a couple of days
There was a thread about it, no one cared really.
Do we have to go through this again?
and someone sat down with us and asked if we wanted to try anal beads.
And then he stood up and started shouting anal beads.
He sounds a catch.
we're allowed one dog
and some of the splashback got on me. I consider that a secondary attack
My dad reckons he got bitten by a butterfly once. I don't think thats even possible.
Kicked it to death shortly afterwords, though.
Flying beetle. FLYING. BEETLE.
If by attacked you mean rose slowly from the seabed in my general direction.
Knocked me flat on my arse. Really hurt.
While camping near a jungle. Surprisingly painful and they just get everywhere.
-numerous insect types
why were you holding a sandwich in one hand and a duck in the other? for what reason?
Stick to meat & potatoes wasp attacks like the rest of us
A dog also peed on my backpack during that trip.
When? Few people get attacked by baboons and live to tell the tale.
It saw me and ran towards me. I ran away. Turned out it was just after an industrial sized bag of pasta, which it seized, ran away to a safe distance and opened like a bag of crisps and sat there chewing.
wasp (infiltrated my ear)
- raven/crow (don't know the difference). It's prime target was actually a dog rather than me, but I was trying to defend the dog so I got some of the action too.
- cats (my fault usually)
- I got chased by a pig once but looking back I think it just thought I was going to feed it. Didn't stop me fucking up my ankle jumping over a gate though.
- a couple of horses have threatened me before, but I've always prevented it escalating.
yet no-one cares
pretty rare in this thread thats for sure...
theres probably a blog on the very subject somewhere on the internet.
it bruised up pretty badly
and a penguin
Know anyone that's ever been attacked by a lion? Didn't think so
A pigeon flew by my face and slapped me with its wing. Does that count?
I'm including pigeons that didn't touch me
of all places.
Bees & Wasps
all the usual suspects
With that, I yield.
"next" was my cock
put a paw on my nuts once, hurt like crazy.
I think it's time I went home.
Haha are you sure he just got a bit lost and walked into by accident?
clawed my shoulder and drew blood. Then shat on me. Little fucker.
I'm going to the pub.
Also remember getting attacked by a swan when I was about 5. It was fucking terrifying.
Oh, and tell us more about how and why you got attacked by a camel.
Managed to vault a barbed wire fence like the honed athlete I am and then landed in a pile of stinging nettles.
Also been attacked by a badger.
I am nature boy.
As a child he was strapped into the back of our Renault 4 with a cardboard box full of geese next to him. They were snapping and hissing away at him and he couldn't move. Mentally scarred him for life.
He was pecked in the eyeball by a cockerel. Physically scarred for life.
Chased by those same damn geese. Chased by peacocks.
I keep suggesting we take his kids down to the swannery at Abbotsbury but he's not up for it for some reason.
My only visit, too
Had a dream last night I was attacked by a beautiful blue bird, and it sat atop my back as my friends gathered around and took photographs. Not sure what this means.