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but not your typical paintballing, go kart crap
all whilst dressed as superheroes/video games characters
For £750 I will "jump" him (the stag) with my crew and bundle him into a van, he will be blindfolded, his hands will be tied, and his legs will be tied also. We punch him in the ribs a couple of times, not too hard but enough for him to think it isnt a joke (There will be NO face/groin hits, Hello!! the man (the stag) IS getting married (any requested "face shots" will be charged at £10 per punch)
An open topped bus adorned in his teams colours will pull up behind the kidnap van and the rest of the group (stage group) will get on where you will be supplied with beer/snacks and a DJ (if you want a stripper you must supply her yourself however we only have the licence for showing boobs on the bus so no minge/a-hole please)
Back in the van we turn the music on, yes it is indie songs done by bag pipes, and yes it is very loud (he (the stag) will not be able to hear for a few days afterwards) Also by this stage it must be mentioned that we have stripped him and some of my crew and flicking him (again not hard but enough to scare him) We have also started the "Tubing" to fill him forcibly up with peach schnapps, the man (the stag) must be drunk for the Deluxe Package to take full effect.
At this stage the rest of your group (stag group) will be having a great time with Wonoldo the Magnificent displaying a range of Erotic magic tricks "Saw the Penis in Half" "Eggs for Tits" and "Sausage today for dinner, Cousin" are all on the bill (if you want him to do the "Minge Rap" this will be an extra £55 as he needs to order the chickens 3 weeks in advance)
Meanwhile in his (the stags) personal van he is now feeling very ill, drunk and deaf, we have started the "Wooden Paddling" the music has been replaced with Satanic Chants shouted at him by my full crew after each "wooden slammer" we are almost at our secluded meeting point.
You (stag group) arrive first to the sights of a "Adult Bouncy Castle" and more beer and snacks, enjoy them it is almost time for the Deluxe Package. The film There is Something about Mary is being beamed onto the side of the "Adult Bouncy Castle" (if you wish to choose another film this will cost £15 and you will need to supply it) and the BBQ is looking lovely by the way.
Your man (the stag) has now been broken and when he starts crying is left alone, when we arrive at the meeting point you must be totally silent as not to spoil the surprise. You man (the stag) is dragged to the adult bouncy castle and a drum roll is asked for and my mate Davie "The Deluxe Package" McIver appears, fully naked, fully erect...and is "unleashed" onto him (the stag), you are asked to turn away at this point and go onto the open topped bus as the viewing angle will be better.
When The Deluxe Package is finished (it will be obvious) you will be asked to start singing his (the stag) teams favourite chant, you will be given a cup and scarfs with "My Mate _______ got the Deluxe Package" and the blindfold will be removed...his reaction will be Priceless
Pictures of the big day £3 each
When are you guys coming up? as got quite a packed diary
The effort is astounding.