So i'll do it, while someone else is probably posting a better one.
FC BAYERN knock out Real Madrid in an entertaining first half, dire second half and extra time, and HILARIOUS penalty shoot-out. Good chat. Bayern become the first ever team to host and play in a european cup final in the Champions league era. Will face everyone's favourite trolls Chelsea, setting up a WWII-style slobberknocker.
Elsewhere, semi finals for that other European cup to take place:
Athletic Bilbao take a 2-1 deficit home against Sporting Lisbon, while Valencia are 4-2 down after their away tie at Athletico Madrid. Both should be fairly entertaining Iberian football fare.
Other news include: Rangers are taking whippings from everyone and their dog, Mourinho wants Chelsea to win the cup for some reason, and, best of all, John Terry isn't allowed to lift the cup if they do win.
Any other business?