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[x] Your mum.
[_] Killer a man.
A senseless loss of control. I doubt the shame will ever leave me to be honest.
she was beautiful, funny, intelligent, interesting. she was everything i looked for in a girl. she was also entirely selfless in the bedroom and i, acting like a total dick, used to broadcast some of the stuff that used to go on on an internet forum. she found out and just felt humiliated and embarrassed and i, rightly so, lost her. biggest regret. it definitely made me treat girls better.
if we can't learn from out mistakes, that's when we're worth nothing
still to this day my entire family think they killed each other.
RIP Bibbles and Wiggles.
got in a fight when I was drunk and punched some guy up. Thrown things at people as well.
I had to keep reminding myself to breath.
blows everything else out of the water
rare as hens teeth tho
I won't go through my past history of profound childishness - suffice it to say that yesterday's cry of 'FUCK OFF' at some little kids when they'd kicked one ball onto my back and another just past my legs, after I'd just helped half of DiS' London football brigade to a glorious last-minute 3-2 defeat with some errant keeping, was *nothing*
(I'm sorry for being sulky - those days should be past me by now and I will ensure it doesn't happen again even if I do let 3 through my legs)
and dont call me angel.
so me and another guy started calling him tree in like a banterous way, just like ALRIGHT TREE? whenever he came into school or whatever. After like two weeks me and the other guy both got moved from the cleverest table to the second cleverest table in class. We didn't know why and i was mortified cos i thought i was super smart the smartest of them all (i still do tbh). But yeah eventually the tree guy came up to us and was like `um yeah, i told my mum about you calling me tree and she probably told the teacher` and we were like `oh`.
i missed you, jupiter.
the year before it was birds. I was in Owls, NATURALLY
Being alone, I indulged a big, theatrical, no handed ATCHOO! Opened my eyes, I'd managed to land a huge gob of snot on my ankle. Disgusting. Imagine if I'd done that in the office.
Of someone sat directly in front of you tentatively touching the back of their head then swivelling slowly around in their office chair with an accusatory glare of horror and disgust plastered on their face like so much snot on an ankle.
to live abroad for a year in order to stay back in the States with my then-boyfriend. He swiftly dumped me because I chose him over Europe. I have a lot of regrets about the whole situation. Living abroad would have put me in massive debt, but I'm sure it would have been a wonderful experience.
I killed my little pet hamster as well :( It was sad. My 5 year old self thought it would be a great idea but him inside his little rolling ball on the tabletop. He rolled off and broke his legs :(
I didn't mean it - I'm really not sadistic.
They split up shortly afterwards.
I'm sure that can't be the only factor, I keep saying to convince myself I'm not a dispicable person
I once made a prank call to a rape help line, posing as the distraught father of a teenage daughter who'd been raped, while my mates snickered quietly. The woman on the phone totally bought it, and I still remember the hollow feeling of all the fun leaching from the prank as I began to realise what a shitty thing to do this was, but no idea how to end the call without the woman knowing she'd been foxed by a stoned little cunt. Eventually just hung up, and we all sat there looking at the table for a while.
No judgement here please
for making a prank phone call? not a big deal.
Put a saftey pin through a bluebottles abdomen
He has some narly scars on his arms. Still, he never touched my football stickers again.
I shouldn't joke, I still go cold whenever I think of that.
that was pretty weird.
I was very young and it didn't occur to me that if he was wearing a blindfold and trying to catch me, and I was hiding behind a climbing frame for safety, he'd not be able to actually see the climbing frame. He smashed his front teeth on it. There was blood but luckily no lasting damage.
and gave me a black eye purely because I said she wouldn't do it.
Can someone find bamos' tombstoning story?
it was both our faults, absioltuely, and we agree on that now, but god dam. i still feel sick thinking about her face and the screaming afterwards. holy shit. in fact, i don't want to think about it anymore.
i thought my mum was going to go MENTAL and kill me, but i think as soon as she saw how entirely fucked up i was about it, she didn't do anything. my dad did the same. i think afterwards i was in shock. she still has the caps on her teeth now, and has to get them cleaned every 6 months. fuuuck
me and my mate decided to walk to McDonalds to get one of those ice cream sundaes and my sister blackmailed me into getting two for her and her best mate (can't remember what the blackmail was now). This fucked us right off because it meant we had to come right back because they would melt otherwise, so on the walk home, when enough of the top had melted that it was quite runny, me and my mate spat into both of them.
he's that kinda guy.
not be judged.
I fled the country and a lifetime of repentance.
nothing too terrible to other people I think
Most recently I turned down a marriage proposal, but I was very tempted to keep the ring because it looked pretty.
So delicate...dam it.
there was this other kid called Colin who had no friends, smelled like bacon, had dirty povvo clothes and used to get picked on all the time. One day he approached me and asked me if he could come to my place for dinner some time. When I said No, he offered me two dollars. I thought about it a bit, then said Yeah OK. I was completely oblivious to the ethical dodginess of the whole thing.
So he came over for dinner, everything went fine, and the next day at school he gave me the $2.00 as arranged.
Some time later, my mum asked me if I'd like to ask my friend Colin over for dinner again, or maybe to stay for the weekend. I innocently told her that he wasn't my friend, and that I'd only asked him to dinner that one time because he'd offered to pay me two dollars. She was horrified, and gave me a big lecture about how terrible it was to exploit a lonely kid like that.
I felt good and ashamed of myself, I can tell you. So if I end up going to hell, it will probably be because shortly afterwards he asked if he could come to my place for dinner again, and I said yes, but jacked the price up to five dollars.
not very bad, really.
trolled someone as a 'joke' on facebook, commenting on all their photos to say how hot they were looking. i was only pissing about but they got really upset by it and accused me of harrassment. i felt pretty bad as i hadn't meant anything by it.
Nothing outrageously bad by most moral compasses, but the sort of 'little hurts' shit I can imagine some nightmarish demon making me admit to over and over again as it flays and sears my skin in some bollocks afterlife.
We got together drunkenly and when she didnt dump her boyfriend I told everyone I only got with her to piss off her boyfriend (he was a right lame cunt tbf). When she found out and obviously got upset I completely broke down for about 2 years and pretty much drank myself into oblivion and nearly failed uni. Still feel absolutey gutted about it now because shes one of the most amazing people Ive ever met.
apart from when I was a child. I bit my sisters arm so bad she had to go to hospital, all because I wanted to turn the living room light on when it wasn't necessary to have it on. I also told my mum I was going to pick her some flowers from the garden. When she looked outside I'd cut up the washing line.
I did do something pretty shitty when I was college. I slept with a guy who was on my course who wasn't out at the time, then showed a few people at college a picture of his cock that he sent to me, whilst he was within earshot. I did feel absolutely awful but he was a complete wanker.
he was an absolute bellend but no one really deserves that. He forgave me in the end.
think my worst is sexting a guy (again in college) then telling his girlfriend about it. I meant well but it just turned out to sound like bragging and to be a massive error.
definitely worse than my confession. Presumably their relationship finished soon after?
I did it because I did not want him to 'cheat' and felt bad about the whole incident. Probably should have kept my mouth shut.
I still cringe when I think about it. The housemaster was a nice guy really and apparently I hurt his feelings a bit. Was suspended for the remainder of the week and it was long leave the week after so got a nice long holiday out of it at least.
no girl deserves to hear that even if it is true.
made fun of someone with MS when out for dinner with a lot of friends. Immediately apolgised for a ridiculously bad taste joke.
Later found out that a friend who I was sitting next to at the time, their mother had MS. Apologised a lot again to them too.
Still feel awful about the whole thing - it's good to vent, but I imagine I'll always feel bad about it.
yep, that'd be the worst thing I've ever done.
that included publishing a small satirical magazine, in which every single mock article and cruel caricature targeted fat, sad, sweaty, pathetic, bad-breathed alcoholic Mr Wills, the maths teacher about whom it was known that his wife left him for a hotel manager (this featured heavily in the magazine, along with hilarious comic mileage gotten from his aforementioned attributes).
The magazine was a huge hit, caused a minor sensation, and me & my fellow Oscar Wildes got called up to the headmaster's office for a half-hearted bollocking, in which he tacitly admitted that Mr Wills was a fucking loser, and why did we have to go after the poor man like that?
I later found out that Mr Wills took early retirement shortly thereafter, and about three years later I saw him in our local shopping centre, pushing along a slab of Diet Coke in a supermarket trolley, about three times his previous size, his face and shins (sticking out beneath his stained, too-short trousers) covered in blotchy scabs. He looked like the most forlorn, broken-down wreck of humanity you could possibly imagine. Still feel bad about it.
weakness of character, procrastination, awful with money, hiding from conflict, putting bad things out of my mind because it is too weak to cope.
That sort of moral fibre/rectitude sort of thing, which then causes other problems.
I could make the most interesting topic on earth a miserable experiance, and to compound this, I've learnt a bit about many topics so that I can spread the misery.
Have pathetic idea that I should 'say what I think' cos this is being sincere witness, but in fact it is stupid as I have put myself outside of so many catagories that any experiance that I have is not likely to chime with people so why do I bother talking at all.
Generally a bit rubbish at everything, due to non arrangement with societies norms and ideas (without revolutionising it, just constantly wittering on (should have been less talk more action, words are not effective due to todays media))
WHY IS THE USER BLOCKER NOT WORKING???
come on Theo, you must have done something bad, any users that you banned who have had a complex as a result?
that was pretty bad
(Twenty-eight years old, I was!!)
One was my dad's new debit card, the other was the card's pin. I was rather smitten for some girl I'd met on an internet forum who lived on the other side of the country. Ended up using the card for a couple of months and spent a fair amount before my parents noticed. I only told them just before they were about to ring the anti-fraud thing at the bank.
Close second would be lying to my parents about being at Uni for nearly a full year. Whilst living at home.
And third would be getting on a bus with my friend and seeing a lad on the back seats, he was the year below us. He was so camp he must surely have been gay, but at 14, I doubt he was 'out'. I went and sat next to him on the bus on stroked his knee and generally came onto him. He looked absolutely mortified, told me to "fuck off me". The next day at school I got called to the head of year's office and had to play the old "My best mate is gay, how can I be a homophobe" card.
Still ashamed of all three.
I'm not proud of it, nor am I the Patrick Bateman type.
My dad had just had a heart attack and needed a triple heart bypass... and then the requisite 3/4 months recovery. Strict instructions to not to get involved in particularly stressful things. That was my reasoning at the time.
Some students have sustained this lie for much longer than a year.
At primary school, we had a little hamster that we all took home for a week at a time to look after. When I had it, I used to throw it up in the air and let it fall onto the ground. I did this several times, throwing it up to the ceiling.
It's pretty much haunted me ever since. Seeing it thud to the ground all stunned, makes me almost want to cry.
Argh God, I really feel awful about it.
using the hamster's toy see-saw as a mechanism to propel it skyward.
but mainly awful.
Seriously though, I get a sick feeling thinking about that poor little creature being in the hands of a little shit like the 10 year old me.
My friend had two hamsters when we were kids, and one of them ate the other one's eyes.
That's pretty gross.
if you're an adult and you've not learned it's wrong, sure, you're scum.
That was rather stupid.
I feel really sorry for that little fish.
Did it die? I heard it died.
He fucking deserved though. I regret nothing
He's gotta expect to be treated like a man, the stitch needing blouse.
and making rape jokes, and when the oppo captain (me) tells you to stop the former (for obvious reasons) and the latter because my then girlfriend had recently been raped and responding *bet she moaned like a whore*, you can expect you head to get cracked open
Don't like to say these sort of things, but he kind of deserved it.
The other way would be to not do anything to him and wait for him to get hit by a bus, of course
Not an especially good friend, but still not cool.
Various criminal acts I'm not gonna admit on the internet.
You can't leave it like that
It was fresh out of the oil, burned my fingers when I picked it up. The gull pounced on it and down the hatch it went. Nothing for a few seconds, then the gull started to convulse & gag & stagger about, before flying away. Can't imagine it wasn't killed or suffered some sort of severe internal injury. Sorry bird.
but I'm actually crying with laughter. I'm a bad person.
was to steal a fredo
I sang the opening lines of 'Deutschland uber alles' then left the party and did a shit in the street. Twice.
I'd be finding a Best Thing I Ever Did thread and posting it there
Didn't really expect a compliment.
Allegedly drink-driving after about 10 cans of Stella and a fair bit of vodka a long time ago. Riding the wrong way around roundabouts, wrong way down one-way streets, over some cricket fields, etc.
Drove a mate home after this, too and crashed outside his house. His mum wanted to know why his bed was covered in oil the next morning.
Never, ever, again. So fucking stupid.
I've never been so worried in my life. I'm so amazed that he made it home.
you really shouldn't be allowed a car
I've never owned a car, this was on a bike. No excuses, though. Never done it since and never will. Absolutely fucking stupid. Oh, the 'after that ' bit was later that night, not a separate occasion.
Lot of personal things in it. No excuses, I was nineteen.
Not the worst thing I've ever done but one of the few things which I was caught doing. It will make me burn until my dying day.
technically a Polanski
Geoff Shreeves account?
I used to start a lot of fires. That was pretty bad. And me and my mates used to go to a golf course and smash it up regularly. Benches over ball cleaners, bottles hammered into the green, kicking the walls out of the golf huts. In fact, a lot of vandalism and fires in various palces. What a group of c**ts we were in fact.
It seems Australians are allowed more than one 'worst thing ever done'
What with that being practically in the dark ages, it wasn't such a big deal back then, but I still shudder when I think about some of the states I'd be in, tanking down the back roads around loch lomond with a carload of idiots.
I don't exactly have a 'my name is earl' list, but I do have a mental note of people I'd really like to say sorry to one day, for things I've done. I'm no angel but I do go out of my way to try to be a good, thoughtful person, but along the way I've made some fucking awful decisions that have hurt people and which makes me so sad now.
after that tampon thread
I commented on someones eyebrows and happened to meet them just last night, they were not impressed with me at all and they said that I had ruined their night. They had been a bit self conscious about them for a while. :( She seemed really nice.