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i killed a rabbit with a brick once
ditto, but with a chicken instead.
also I once went into college (law computer studies and maths a levels) in my tractor and parked it in the car park (it wasnt mine it was the farms)
you dance to my tune ;)
Because we won't.
I'm not in a band.
i smashed my bottom teeth out in a terrible jumping from the couch to the chair accident when i was 8.
I know someone that you know, and she's not even off of the internet.
what about the booby mating dance?
trivia: My cat is very, very tall
The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
and the fail may lie at my feet.
DURING THE DAY I WORK AT A high priced baguette stand - DURING THE EVENING I mostly watch EASTENDERS.
occasionally... actually yeah every day
or your boss would be telling you to baguette back to work.
There are lots of doctors in my kitchen.
i fucked your mum
and there is nothing trivial about me.
My name is Wiggy or Will depending on who you ask and I have done lots
that's a description as well as a name.
Here is my manifesto:
. destroy organised education past the point of basic numeracy and literacy
. round up anyone who has a family member who has earnt above the national average and shoot them.
. repeat this process around the world.
. free mankind
or their family member?
I don't want to die, Bamnan.
I'll go and work in the Walkers factory with Untrue, hand out literature, turn down corporate outreach programs and grass up anyone with ideas beyond their tax band.
I'll get a dog and call it Gramsci.
we're all dead common, promise. I bet we're more common than you and your lot.
i don't think we can be friends anymore.
Sporting a semi right now.
and i have a radiohead tattoo
I was ere
Not gay, but have pissed on one of those leather guys who lie in the urinal trough
future candidate for one of those best lyricist evarrr threads.
used to pretend to be a cat as a chillun'. a girl cat.
And there are currently people down the hallway dancing to The Human League and yelling my name. And I'm perfectly okay with this. Don't you want me???
and I have abseiled more than I have flown in a plane.
I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower, I use a water activated gel cleanser. Then a honey almond body scrub. And on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub. Then apply an herb mint facial mask, which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me. Only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our life styles are probably comparable, I simply am not there.
I have very stretchy skin.
i feel mildly dented today
and a little there
1) I've done it before
2) There was a more relevant thread to put it in
3) I didn't change the final Patrick Batemen to Wilykit
I'll bounce back though.
works for me :D
i am a bear
I like cats and I have boobs.
but I am actually really ugly.
call you out
I would like to move to Scandinavia.
less words still many posts
in 10 downing street
I once made Jimmy Carr a sandwich.
and these aren't real.
my life goal is to be incredibly buff
I'm DarwinDude. I'm going out for dinner with my parents tonight and looking forward to it.
pieces of reece's quiches?
if not, i want 15% of any future profits made from this product range.
Internet sex symbol
and I have to turn the light switch on and off 17 times before leaving a room or my family will die.
I used to have a radio show with the same name
I used to be a werewolf but I'm alright nooooooowwwwwwww
Trivia: I am able to projectile vomit at the speed of light
I once dislocated my knee dancing to Spice Up Your Life!
trivia: i am brusma
I've never seen a proper bear
And with that, I yield.
I was once overtaken by tractors. Nah not really, I can't drive...actually that'll do as my trivia...I can't drive...good enough?
Someone walked in on me taking poo whilst watching a crufyy dribbling compilation on the train this morning.
I have an all conquering fear of flying insects after having a dream where I was raped by a giant disgusting moth.