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You'd have to be a total fucking pouring yoghurt not to like going to IKEA, right?
Guess where I'm off to tonight.
I think we could do with another bookcase actually. And some light bulbs. I'll suggest it to my mum when she gets home tonight. Thanks for the idea :-)
Will it be the same without the food? I've never not had the food before. Hmmmm.
What on earth are you thinking of????
I.... I don't know where to start with this.
but they're definitely the best thing about IKEA
I know people who make an actual day of going to ikea.
One time, I thought I'd buck convention and make my own way around the store. I'm a big boy I don't need led through all this guff, i thought to myself.
10 minutes later I found myself trapped, becoming increasingly panicked, and faced with the quickest escape route from the store being the bit where they push the trolleys back inside the building.
I've never been back.
- Warrington IKEA
- Wembley IKEA
- New Southgate Rail Station
- New Barnet Sainsbury's Car Park
and I can't say that I get that. But on the other hand, going there is hardly the highlight of my life.
I will say though that furniture I've bought from there has actually proven far more durable and long-lasting than things I've bought from supposedly more "upmarket" retailers...
Then you get bored of legging it about with a trolley, it gets stuffy, you eat some disgusting seets and it feels like you're being dragged round by your mum all over again.
but going there is a fucking pain in the arse
Wembley or Croydon. Fuck you Ikea!
sitting on chairs and beds and pretending to cook in the kitchens and nice lights and then i have a hotdog at the end. fab.
look on Ebay, seriously. People sell all sorts of great stuff - old wardrobes, bookshelves, bad-ass tables, all that, often for 99p or even 1p, you just have to pick it up.
pisses on flat-pack bollocks...and obviously charity places are quite wise now and see you coming.
You have to go round EVERY FUCKING SQUARE INCH OF THE STORE, it's full of pricks (then again, so is everywhere) and when you end up buying bookcases an inch too long to fit in your car you end up having to pay about £40 in delivery charges.
proper route if you wish
Turn around the other way and walk through the tills into the bit with all the flatpacks. Winner
Just walk straight to the pick up area/exit.
EVERYONE knows this.
I have a car. It helps.
I find it all fairly enjoyable.
apart from the pencils and tape measures and hot dogs
i do not really enjoy it
I know my way round now so it is OK, there is even a "co-workers only" door which is nothing but a shortcut to another area! The key is to go NOT on a Saturday, go late midweek. Buy your stuff and get a meatballs and chips for tea while you are there. Don't be tempted to buy crap like drinking straws and candles.
Midweek nights ftw! It's usually not too bad in weekday afternoons either.
what have I become
You know, the one like a showhome. Then eat, then go downstairs for some real shopping after some discussion. Not sure on the layout of your one, but that works for me.
In Gateshead I lived about two minutes from it, me and my flatmate used to pop by for cheap hotdogs and chips, followed by a few doughnuts and washed down with an endlessly refillable drink, all for pence.
We got good at finding our way round too, it's full of short cuts.
My auntie and her daughters asked me and my grandad to go and we took about 4 steps in, looked at each other with an obvious "fuck this shit" and walked back out. They were in there for TWO HOURS they didnt even buy anything ffs
I don't think I've shouted at my boyfriend more.
no you idiot he's a Liberian not a Librarian.
he kept on making ssshhh gestures.
what has Libyan got to do with liking superstores full of cheap tat?
...which someone kindly gave me when I moved house last year (I have actually forgotten who - what an ungrateful bastard). What's worth spending fifty quid on in Ikea? Don't think I'm likely to go for any flatpack furniture.
they do good paintings and posters also. Kitchen equipment, candles, garden stuff, curtains.
and then you can go out in the street, shout 'Tea Lights for All' and just throw them in the air and watch people scrabble like peasants.
...I do actually need a new set of curtains. That said, I've just had a look at their website and am not particularly enthralled with any of their stuff.
I need a new breadknife - maybe I could get one of those from there. Otherwise tealight/washing up brush collection it is.
Just warning you. Odd things like the cutlery has really weird handles, or the plates are really flat. The knives are beyond shite also. Their curtains are OK, but their bedding is all really good. Some is pricey mind.
...so much for 50 washing up brushes then :(
Not a massive fan of the flat packs because of the pure admin they cause, but the Market Hall bit is tops for bits for the house. Got a kinfe steak for like £3.50.
Then hot dogs, chips and drinks.
Agree with DanielKelly though, getting there and getting home is a nightmare
but you do realise that some of you have a peculiarly low tolerance threshold, don't you? If going to Ikea makes you argue with family and friends, I'd venture that the problem goes beyond the fact that you're in Ikea...
sound like Ikea shelving units.
This was in front of a lot of other customers.
Personally, I like the place. I'd just prefer to go when it's not full of dawdling twats holding up my mission.
a down syndrome kid into a billy bookcase
Tangent : Superior durability aside, does anyone else really dislike the style of most of Ikea's furniture? It's like art deco without the 'art' bit
we had to drive from Winchester to Bristol because it was before the Southampton one had opened. as you can imagine, i wasn't happy about this being how i was spending my weekend.
we walked in the door and we'd only walked about 50m through the store when we see a massive tv, a couple of sofas and a few people standing around. turns out it was about 10 minutes untill kick off in the England - Ireland 6 nations match !
so I sat down and spent two hours watching the rugby while my parents and sisters did the IKEA thing. as you can imagine, i got rather a lot of jealous evil looks from people who weren't able to sit and watch the game.
the other time i've visisted was when i'd just moved into my first student house and our mate drove us there. i bought a clock and a crate of kopparberg. so that visit was part of an exciting weekend.
i don't doubt that at some point in future i will have a thoroughly miserable IKEA experience.
pretending to be in 100 days of summer. And their lights only work with SPECIAL IKEA LIGHTBULBS. So everytime I elbow the light by my bed (5 since christmas) I have to go to stupid ikea and walk behind happy couples holding hands taking up the whole fucking walkway for an hour.
so we can end up as ONE OF THEM? I don't think so.
took me another 16 years to come to terms with it and return. Quite enjoyed it the last time. Stuffed my face with cheap food and replenished my coffee refill with not only hot beverages but glass after glass of Logonberry fizzy pop - beatingthesystem
^ Hey, that rhymes.
Sure, I'd clogged that malarkey up with some Imodium a matter of hours previously but being in IKEA is bad enough without having absolutely no confidence in your rectal stability. Standing in front of a sea of corner units fearing at any moment it could all go horribly, horribly wrong is not a good afternoon.
and it's not even because i'm scandinavian, because us norwegians basically hate everything that's swedish like by default, so this is really saying something