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If you're reading this you really are a loser, but still, happy birthday!
Happy birthday xx
will that do?
against another team and despite me knocking the ball to you and loudly shouting one-two you decided not to pass it back but instead have a wild shot that went nowhere near the goal. In light of this revelation I hope you're birthday is slightly disappointing.
Laid the ball off to Dan on the edge of the box, stormed in, screaming for the ball.
He looked up, saw me, then turned back and lashed it over the bar
I hope he gets held in customs
I really do
happy cakeday meths x
you the man
It looks like I'm writing you a birthday card, but it's actually just great pen acting.
You're getting too old for this shit.
Have a terrific one
I'll just leave you a bit of the exchange between me and the amercian customs official:
- oh I see it's your birthday soon sir.
- is it?...er no yes yes your right!
- ...ok...what is the the nature of your business here this week?
- the americans.
They still let me in.
What an absolute bellend.
I this'd this because I thought you were referring to meths. Please confirm.
(although US customs ARE bellends too)
1) Start a countdown to hometime thread
2) Mess about with the fridge temperature at work
3) Try and spot a bird with teeth
4) Moan about something
5) Eat some chocolate
6)..... er, a little help?