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i've had a lumbar puncture, which if you don't know, is a massive fucking needle in your spine.
so getting that out was pretty painful.
I've had loads of stuff than sounds squeamish (hello flexicystoscopy) but aren't actually that bad in practice.
but apparently i screamed really really loud* when it went in.
*a manly scream, i'm sure.
although I can still recall the scratching sensation as the needle was dug in. No pain, because of the anaesthetic, but a horrible sensation nonetheless.
It was the after effects that were the killer.
But it's too gross to talk about.
Just know I'm the winner.
(I'm implying that Chintz had the same operation.)
I like it.
i had a lot of epilepsy fits around that time and it was a very hazy few weeks in hospital.
wasn't told that you're supposed to remain laying down for 24 hours afterwards. Was actually taken in for a chest x-ray after the lumbar puncture, which required me sitting up right. Also went for a bit of stroll around the hospital a few hours later.
Spent the next two weeks battling nausea and massively debilitating headaches every time I stood or sat up.
are my biggest fears.
Had a kidney stone 2 inches wide in my bladder removed on Monday. I can say that it hurts a lot. I passed 3 stones before and its one of the worst pains a guy can get. My bladder stone fills up a large test tube of small normal sized kidney stones it was that big. Ohh and then a kidney stone removed from my kidney the size of a marble at the same time. All in all 4:30 hour operation and a shed load of morphine. Spent the week having a catheter in and pissing blood. Most painful thing ive ever been through. I'm hoping I stop passing blood next week.
and so went to hospital where they laid me down and inserted a long plastic tube through my mouth and into my lungs - this then sucked away at all these blood clots that were in there
I remember looking at the transparent tube with all this sticky jelly-like blood clots whizzing through it and being reminded of the Strawberry Jam cover #indie4lyf
Having a root canal is probs the worst thing I've gone through. It was pain for the day before hand that was really bad tho.
from when i was a kid. grossest one i remember was removing adenoids, not because they removed the adenoids, more because they decided to surgically widen my apparently tiny nostrils and i was snotting flesh like stuff for a while after. it was so rank
also the stupid doctors couldnt get a cannula in my arm so had to put it in that bit between my thumb and index finger and it hurt so bad
when i was 13 i still had baby teeth so they had to pull them out for my braces to work, and they cut out a bit of my gum over the teeth,, pulled the baby teeth, drilled into my adult one and chained it to the braces then put the bit of gum back on. only some stupid dental nurse accidentally passed a mirror over me while the gum was off and i saw it all. IT WAS SCARY
also getting local anesthetic in the roof of the mouth hurts so much
luckily, never saw it in a mirror. so disgusting.
it was pretty bad. I was given a local anesthetic so i was awake the whole time. I just remember the nurse holding me down and teh doctor throwing this tube down into my stomach, like really violently feeding it down.. i was trying to throw up whilst it was happening.. horrible
Also that time recently when a tooth i was getting out was infected and he had trouble getting it out. So he had to slice open my gums and shave away at my jaw bone with the drill. It was like something out of a horror movie.. the pressure of him drilling down was ...*shiver* ill never forget it.
hmm.. they are the worst, because i was awake for them
cut my ball sack open and anchored my testicles with nylon so that they don't twist around and cut off the blood supply. Walking around trying to keep my legs from touching my balls for a few weeks both made me look like a complete retard and was fucking painful.. aside from that it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. The slight twists that caused me to have the op in the first place were way more painful.
i also fear this
and i dont even have the equipment.
so it was like sucking out all of the blood and shit from this operation, and I remember them having to pull it out one day.
Bearing in mind it was about 1cm thick and I was 11 I was terrified and I screamed so much. I still remember it now. Horrible plastic tube being pulled out from me.
Also I woke up in the middle of said operation and screamed, but I don't really recall this.
it wasnt sore but it makes me shudder thinking about it.
And he woke up while the operation was in process, couldn't move or speak but could feel pain. A lot of pain.
I had a severe infection sucked out of my right ear in my teens.
The docs had given me all kinds of anti-biotics and ear drops and whatnot, but the thing hadn't shifted.
They booked me in for a procedure whereby a tube is fed down the ear canal and sucks all the shite out.
I was told to lie very still as any slight shift in movement could cause irreparable damage and hearing loss(the suction could tear the eardrum). The doctor also told me that it will probably be the loudest noise I will ever hear and that the urge to pull my head away will be overwhelming. They got around this by strapping my head to the table I lay on. Another effect is severe diziness as the suction pulls at the sensory organs inside the ear which keep you balanced.
I remember them switching the machine on and the it getting progressively louder and louder as it came nearer. The doctor placed his hand on may face, the nurse gave a thumbs up, and the most intense, searing wave of sound I will ever hear washed over my entire conciousness. It was absolutely unbearable. Imagine your ear right one inch crash cymbal on a drum kit, somebody smashing it and as it peaks, multiplying that sound by about 10 and stretching it out for 30 seconds.
My legs involuntarily kicked out and had to be held down by the nurse. Just as I thought I could bear the noise any longer (i remember thinking i'd rather be deaf than endure any more), the dizziness hit, unlike any other dizziness I've ever experienced. The wall seemed to bend away from me and stuff at the edges of my vision started to pull into the centre, as though the whole room was being pushed up into a sphere. I clenched my eyes shut and whimpered and the noise stopped.
The doctor unstrapped my head and told me to take a few minutes to gather myself. I got up about 10 minutes later and was still walking in zig zags down the corridor.
I hated every minute of it.
Cue - somebody now saying they've had this done and that it wasn't that bad!
Not a one inch crash cymbal. That would be puny and severly detracts from the kind of intensity i'm trying to convey.
i think its the thought of them cutting through my sternum with a large bone saw and then spreading my ribs out like the wings of a decaying bird that makes me cringe the most.