For my mother's birthday I went halves on some treatments which my sister had organised. I thought they were going to be massages but it turns out that they are for an osteopath. I kept quiet when I saw them and shan't be mentioning it to my family.
What can I do to redress the balance? Brick through the local ear wax candle shop? Push a priest over?
When did you last feel (nob-sexually) dirty?