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Mark Kermode's love of the Twilight films

KillingMoon [Edit] [Delete] 61 replies 11:04, 23 November '11

Is he taking the piss? I've watched them all now, thinking i must be missing something.....but they're terrible!

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  • sorry, does this chump actually like them?

    Silkyskillz11 | 23 Nov '11, 11:07 | X
    • He hates Star Wars too

      No wonder why Claudia Winkleman got the job he thought he was born to do.

      moker @Silkyskillz11 | 24 Nov '11, 14:00 | X
  • Well I bought his latest book and he talks about them in it.

    I got the impression strongly that he likes them for what they represent, namely a film series aimed at a teenage girls, rather than for being actually his sort of film. His reasoning was really that it's a market Hollywood doesn't take seriously and that most films aimed at teenagers are basically boy's fantasy stuff with guns and boys as the main character.

    He also likes Zac Ephron a lot. I can't get behind that. Most of what he says is immensely sensible.

    TheoGB | 23 Nov '11, 11:11 | X
    • i like them

      justanothersheeldz @TheoGB | 23 Nov '11, 11:13 | X
    • Zac who?

      I don't see how they are a good set of films for a teenage girl. They're basically saying 'go out with a boy who puts you in too much danger and could potentially take your life. ~Also, you should leave your family and friends to be with him.'

      I've only seen the first one and that was dog shit.

      meowington @TheoGB | 23 Nov '11, 11:15 | X
      • Hmm, I don't think it's about 'role models' or whatever.

        I'm not sure Spider-Man or Transformers say anything remotely meaningful to teenage boys. The point (as I understood it) was that it's entertainment that appeals to a demographic who aren't normally catered for.

        TheoGB @meowington | 23 Nov '11, 11:22 | X
        • I wouldn't say they were neglected really

          There have been quite a few films out this year that teenagers would have gone to see. There have been two Justin Timberlake films for christ sake! Teenagers love that shit!

          meowington @TheoGB | 23 Nov '11, 11:30 | X
          • You need to have this discussion with Kermode really.

            I'm just explaining why he seemed to like the films so much.

            TheoGB @meowington | 23 Nov '11, 11:32 | X
            • FINE

              I'm going to write to Kermode.

              meowington @TheoGB | 23 Nov '11, 11:33 | X
              • In defence of this

                I'd guess Kermode sees a LOT more films than either of us, including loads of stuff we probably haven't even noticed because it's awful.

                From reviews it's clear that Twilight isn't very good - even Harry Potter films got better reviews and they were hardly amazing - but they've been STONKINGLY popular, which implies to me that they definitely have found something that isn't being exploited much right now.

                TheoGB @meowington | 23 Nov '11, 11:48 | X
    • The soundtracks to the Twilight films are good, and Zac Ephron’s pretty ace.

      marckee @TheoGB | 23 Nov '11, 11:15 | X
      justanothersheeldz this'd this
      • I've only seen him in 17 Again.

        Or rather in some of 17 Again before I had to turn the turgid shit off. Maybe he's okay in it. Needless to say I've not seen a film with him in that I want to watch, which makes the point about his goodness or not moot. Which is why I can't get behind liking Zac Ephron because I can't imagine watching films I don't enjoy to see an actor.

        TheoGB @marckee | 23 Nov '11, 11:19 | X
    • I saw 17 Again recently.

      It was terrible for many reasons, but not one of those was Zac Efron's poor performance. It's not his fault he was marketed as a Disney teen idol. I can imagine he'll go on to have a pretty decent career. He was pretty well received in Me and Orson Welles or whatever it was called, wasn't he?

      hip_young_gunslinger @TheoGB | 23 Nov '11, 11:16 | X
      • 17 Again is a great film.

        meowington @hip_young_gunslinger | 23 Nov '11, 11:17 | X
        • *fucking obnoxiously clichéd piece of shit.

          TheoGB @meowington | 23 Nov '11, 11:20 | X
          • so?

            Films for teenagers aren't going to be realistic or no teenager would go and see them.

            meowington @TheoGB | 23 Nov '11, 11:22 | X
            • yeah, cos teenagers are vacuous airheads and don't understand anything other than vampires

              Silkyskillz11 @meowington | 23 Nov '11, 11:24 | X
              • Not my point

                but if you're going to the cinema with a group of mates and one of you goes 'oh lets go see We Need To Talk About Kevin', I don't think it would go down too well.

                meowington @Silkyskillz11 | 23 Nov '11, 11:32 | X
                JaguarPirate this'd this
            • I didn't comment on the realism. Cliché is about rehashing the same tired ideas.

              And this film is just the same tired ideas we already saw in films like Freaky Friday (twice!), Big and Vice Versa, amongst others.

              And trotting out the same tired contrived scenarios that are supposed to two parts comedy to one part embarrassment, but thanks to their stale nature you just feel more embarrassed that someone couldn't write something that felt a bit more original.

              TheoGB @meowington | 23 Nov '11, 11:28 | X
              • The plot was terribly predictable

                but I can't think of any other Rom Com where its not predictable.

                meowington @TheoGB | 23 Nov '11, 11:31 | X
                • There are degrees.

                  But yeah, most rom coms are also face-chewingly obnoxiously awful for the same reason.

                  TheoGB @meowington | 23 Nov '11, 11:34 | X
        • It was terrifying.

          It took Back to the Future's 'comedy incest' theme and ran with it.

          hip_young_gunslinger @meowington | 23 Nov '11, 11:22 | X
          JaguarPirate this'd this
  • http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p00lz0zx

    makes a good point - the film "isn't made for you"

    wecancreate | 23 Nov '11, 11:14 | X
    • it also gave us 'hearing damge' - good song, also really fits the scene its in

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpvP_eRb2hc&feature=related

      wecancreate @wecancreate | 23 Nov '11, 11:16 | X
  • Jay-Z's laugh

    yeah, i don't get it. but i do admire Kermode for the fact he in all his reviews he seems completely unswayed by what people think he should think, or what people think in general

    i disagree with him on a lot of things, but respect his thinking, unlike lonely old man up there just calling him a chump.

    brusma | 23 Nov '11, 11:19 | X
    • hey man - I respect his opinion

      however, my chump point stands
      step back, bro

      Silkyskillz11 @brusma | 23 Nov '11, 11:22 | X
      • i respect his opinion but i'm calling him a chump

        doesn't work

        brusma @Silkyskillz11 | 23 Nov '11, 11:32 | X
  • Is this thread borked?

    TheoGB | 23 Nov '11, 11:25 | X
  • i like the twilight series

    because as well as it being a bonding experience for me and my george foreman, i also get to deride it heavily as well.

    and, in the cultural exchange, i probably am better off as despite having to sit through some fairly average, but enjoyable films, she has to put up with histories of motorways, train lines, playing monopoly with me, and my insesant ability to enjoy my own humour.

    justanothersheeldz | 23 Nov '11, 11:28 | X
    • I don't have a comment on the Twilight films.

      They sound like something I wouldn't enjoy but they've probably been filmed without ridiculous shaky-cam and multiple cuts a-second a-la-Michael Bay, which seems to be what every other film is like, so that's going to be a plus.

      TheoGB @justanothersheeldz | 23 Nov '11, 11:30 | X
    • we've had a meeting and it's been decided that you should really stop

      with this george foreman business

      jacques_le_biscuit_ @justanothersheeldz | 23 Nov '11, 11:30 | X
      meowington and deadonthestairs this'd this
      • ok

        justanothersheeldz @jacques_le_biscuit_ | 23 Nov '11, 11:34 | X
        • much obliged

          jacques_le_biscuit_ @justanothersheeldz | 23 Nov '11, 11:36 | X
          • no problems

            i always miss the important board meetings. is "gf" still acceptable, though? or are we back to "missus" or "other half"?

            justanothersheeldz @jacques_le_biscuit_ | 23 Nov '11, 11:43 | X
      • Twilight?

        the films for every teenage girl who ever wanted to go out with the creepy old guy who poses as a high school student, sneaks into your bedroom to watch you sleep, puts your life in danger and tells you that if you have sex with him you probably end up horribly murdered, by him.

        What_Ho @jacques_le_biscuit_ | 23 Nov '11, 11:36 | X
    • I don't know much about Twilight:

      can someone tell me why vampires would feel the need to go to school?

      thewarn | 23 Nov '11, 11:31 | X
      • you'd have thought there'd be a hilarious pun answer to this

        can't think of one though

        podge @thewarn | 23 Nov '11, 11:34 | X
        • Brush up on their teethySEs?

          splitterwill @podge | 23 Nov '11, 11:43 | X
          • improve their garlicgraphy?

            sorry

            xylopwn @splitterwill | 23 Nov '11, 11:45 | X
        • To get an undeaducation?

          colossalhorse @podge | 23 Nov '11, 11:46 | X
      • To blend in

        Like if you just saw some sparkly guy walking around and he was your age you'd think - thats a bit weird but if he went to school you'd just think he was a normal kid who is a bit pale and spilt some glitter on his face during art class

        meowington @thewarn | 23 Nov '11, 11:35 | X
        • They're sparkly?

          I might start watching these then.

          thewarn @meowington | 23 Nov '11, 11:39 | X
          • Yeah.

            You know how every vampire bursts into flesh-melting flames whenever they are exposed to sunlight?

            Well, in twilight, they twinkle instead.

            cracked.com has a nice summary of the films, if someone can find the link and post it here.

            marckee @thewarn | 23 Nov '11, 11:42 | X
      • To get young human puussaaaay

        of course

        justanothersheeldz @thewarn | 23 Nov '11, 11:35 | X
      • To pick up needy goth chix

        marckee @thewarn | 23 Nov '11, 11:35 | X
    • Maybe he hates the idea of responsible sex education

      84joe | 23 Nov '11, 11:43 | X
    • Kermode's love for Zac Ephron

      is based on the fact that in many ways Ephron is a throwback to the old fashioned kind of film star where the leading man is handsome, can sing and dance and is a likeable, talented all-rounder. They don't really make them like that any more. He's perfectly fine in Orson Welles and Me and once his tweeny audience has moved on to someone else, has the makings of a decent actor.

      Although not a great film, I thought that the first Twilight movie was very good in its portrayal of the lumpen inarticulacy of teenagers, who fancy each other but just mope about and are completely terrified that they will be seen as cool or uncool by their peers. It didn't actually need any of the vampire and werewolf stuff.

      I can't comment on the second Twilight film as it was so awful that I turned it off after about fifteen minutes. It seemed entirely different from the first movie.

      Silentcommand | 23 Nov '11, 11:45 | X
      • Yeah, I remember that stuff about Ephron now.

        It kind of leads to one of his paradoxes, namely his putting of the first Pirates of the Caribbean film at the same dreadful level as the sequels. He goes on about loving old style movie making but that first POTC film is basically textbook old school movie making. Everything about it, including the bad stuff is about why it's so good.

        TheoGB @Silentcommand | 23 Nov '11, 11:50 | X
    • EFRON

      icouldwinarabbit | 23 Nov '11, 11:46 | X
      thewarn, meowington, and mug_mug_mug this'd this
      • I got it right.

        They all made me doubt myself, but I was right.

        hip_young_gunslinger @icouldwinarabbit | 23 Nov '11, 11:48 | X
        • I apologise.

          TheoGB @hip_young_gunslinger | 23 Nov '11, 11:51 | X
    • I like Mark Kermode a lot

      I also like the Twilight films. He's wrong about the order though, he thinks New Moon is the worst and Eclipse the best, because New Moon doesn't have much Edward in. Which is EXACTLY WHY IT'S THE BEST. </TeamJacob>

      He has a good point that the reviews of the new film have been unfair because they're mostly 'Twilight eh? What a load of pro-abstinence shit' written by people who haven't read the books or enjoyed the other films. They're reviewing the concept rather than the actual films.

      NB the fourth book is utterly batshit so I don't really have that high hopes for this films or the next one.

      nice_squirrel | 23 Nov '11, 12:10 | X
      • I agree with what he's saying about the reviewing the concept thing

        but i'm still mad (not rly obvs) about him spending his entire Attack The Block review going on about Shaun Of The Dead.

        mug_mug_mug @nice_squirrel | 24 Nov '11, 12:49 | X
        • yeah, me too

          bet Joe Cornish is as well! It was actually MUCH more like John Landis films than Shaun of the Dead anyway. I loved it.

          Plus I think he's wrong for not liking The Squid and the Whale.

          nice_squirrel @mug_mug_mug | 24 Nov '11, 12:51 | X
          • the Kermode vs Cornish interview was mint

            Joe was not happy. Kermode thought the Tintin screenplay was crap too. PERSONAL VENDETTA

            I remember enjoying teh Squid and the Whale at the time but I would be lying if I said I could remember anything about it.

            mug_mug_mug @nice_squirrel | 24 Nov '11, 12:55 | X
            • I'm not sure I enjoyed that interview

              they're two of my favourite famous people so it was a bit like I wanted to stop my parents arguing or something.

              nice_squirrel @mug_mug_mug | 24 Nov '11, 13:07 | X
          • He didn't like The Squid and the Whale?

            Silly man.

            TheWza @nice_squirrel | 24 Nov '11, 13:12 | X
            • He always struck me as more of a goat's cheese tart sort of man anyway.

              TheoGB @TheWza | 24 Nov '11, 13:16 | X
    • I dunno about that

      he consistently seems to enjoy lowbrow crap! I think he's a good and entertaining reviewer but I don't entirely trust his judgement. I went to go and see Skyline and that was so stupid and terrible.

      mug_mug_mug @sorrow26 | 24 Nov '11, 12:51 | X
    • The first one is great

      It's like Mills and Boon, I would love it if some animal beast man wanted to devour me but loved me so much he just couldn't, I'd right get a kick out of teasing and tormenting him!

      Drrreeeeeeeamy

      Elaina_Casoolare | 24 Nov '11, 13:41 | X
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