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WEARING A SCARF
don't hate the playa
wearing a formal shirt and trousers. On the treadmill. Think maybe he was trying to do some rat race-inspired performance art.
FEEL THE BURN
People who DRY THEMSELVES WITH A NEWSPAPER, yes a newspaper when they get out of the shower.
are mentally ill thread.
People who work out (weights usually) wearing jeans.
Also, one of my favourite viz top tips, went something along the lines of 'When you go to the gym, make sure you drive around the car park for a good ten minutes, to ensure you get the nearest possible space to the front door. the last thing you would want to do is uneccesarily expend any energy'.
who wears bizarre floaty underwear (i looked), and when he lifts weights does really short sharp motions, as if he was fucking a hamster
freaks the shit outta me
I go to the uni gym sometimes and its always the Chinese kids who are inappropriately dressed, wearing jeans, shirts or formal trousers or shoes to work out. Great bunch of lads the chinese.
shoes on a fucking treadmill!11!! get out you moron.
The gym 'instructors' only ever moan at us big ladz for lifting too much and putting the weights down...when really they should be ejecting the smelly sweaty guy, the prick in the formal wear or the tool using a bench to curl 2.5lb.
does this thing where he lies on his stomach on the floor, puts his hands together over his arse and lifts his head and legs up at the same time so he sort of looks like a fish flapping around on land. Obvs he goes 'ugh! ugh! ugh!' while he does this. In the middle of the floor of the gym.
Not for the hot girls - my gym has little none, this is for the complete mentals.
but if you like weirdos, you should go swimming on a sunday night.
guy "do you want a banana"
his friend "yeah all right"
then they went to the side of the pool and start eating bananas.
Stop playing fucking shit music at a billion decibels so that I can't hear the music in my own earphones.
90% of the other people there are using their own earphones, too, so just, y'know, take the hint.
Stop playing music more often.
And when you do, stop replacing it with radio football phone-ins.
Also, in the lane you've set aside for people wanting to do lengths, remember to put up the sign telling people to go clockwise, so that at least twice as many people can use said lane.
They pipe the gym music into the football pitches.
It really does fuck with your hustle.
We've suggested they pipe in football crowd noise or generic commentary, but they haven't taken on our advice.
And speaking of bananas:
When we were teenagers, me and my friend Greg decided we wanted to get buff. The first step was to loose some fat, so we planned to go running before school.
To this end, I stayed over at his on the Sunday, so we could start the week right by going for a run Monday morning.
I was sleeping on his floor.
We each went to bed and left a banana within reach, so we could wake up, eat the banana and then go for our run full of energy.
Greg's alarm went off at 6.30. I half woke up and looked over at Greg, so see him asleep with the banana skin on his pillow.
Not only did we not go for a run, we actually went back to sleep and were late for school.