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Let's have an Alan Partridge quote thread for kicks.
Hard-worker, but there's no affection.
Stop getting Partridge wrong!
Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan!.......Dan!....Dan! Dan!.....DAN! DAN! DAN! DAN! DAN! DAN! DAN! DAN! DAN! DAN! DAN! DAN! DAN! DAN! DAN! DAN! DAN! DAN! DAN! DAN!
Oddly, we were talking about it on Saturday- so I can bring the facts. (it was a quiz or something)
some brilliant stuff in this little seen series for the
Teenage Cancer Trust. 5 short films starting here:
Lesbos, Les-be-friends, Dykes, Bulldykes, Dick Van Dykes, Spare-Rib-Ticklers, Cat-Flaps, Pussy Footers, Knicker Pickers, Men, Backpackers, Tent-peggers, Trout fishers, Melon Farmers, Kwikfit Fitters, Baggage Handlers, Left Luggage?
and remove yourself from the theatre of conflict"
L: "What do you mean?"
AP: "Go and stand by the yakults"
really captures the frustration of a sunday
It must not, repeat NOT turn into an all-night rave
I guarantee you'll either be mugged, or not appreciated.
Let's hope that tomfoolery doesn't escalate into blind, ugly violence.
you've got to read the sunday papers, the kids are running around, you've got to wash the car - sunday, bloody sunday!
very reliable, but she's got a moustache
I'M NOT DRIVING A MINI VOLKSWAGEN
I'M NOT DRIVING A MINI VOLKSWAGEN
you are right
nothing worse than getting the same thing wrong 3 times in a row
and the pudding, in this case, is a football
I took drugs
I can't stand the devil! I think he's bang out of order.
Thats a shame they were up for that
It’s in no way connected with our proximity, so just don’t turn round
I'm not driving a Mini Metro, I'm not driving a Mini Metro, I'm not driving a Mini Metro
Alec Patridge - LINNE WHERE'S MY TOBLERONE I DRIVE DUNDEE NO SHOES
Linne - OH ALEC I GOT WALNUT GEAR KNOB FOR MOTOR
Alec Patridge - JURASSIC PARK 2: LOST WORLD!
THEY DO IT ON PURPOSE LYNN
...and then Dr No
and foonily enoof it just landed on its wheels and it started first time and they joost droove away...
you blonde bastard
don't shine that light in my face mate - i've just lost a pint of blood!
....a couple of gremlins in the system there...ghosts in the machine! Perhaps a metaphor for .............................Good evening!
is that your mother's money coming through?
All part of the bereavement dividend!
Ah-haaaaaaarrrrrgggghhh! What a year it's been for Dante...Fires. Maybe you're here tonight with a wife...or an old flame. But what is the burning issue? Hit your targets or you'll be... fiiired. But today's also about fun. HAVE YOU ALL GOT YOUR FUN PACKS?! I've got one here. Dropped it. It's all right. I've got a list. Here. It should contain a torch, a CurlyWurly, a book of stamps, a free digital watch with denim strap, a vodka miniature, a Bic-style razor and a copy of the Daily Expressssss...Ooooooh, it's a good paper! Now, first award tonight is for best...Christ. Not Christ...Sorry...Keep saying 'Christ'...I know some of you may be religious...and to those people I apologihuuuuuueeeerrrrgggh... Sorry. I was supposed to hit that later. I'll just wait for it to finish. A, a glittering year ahead. You might want to read your Daily Express. Don't shine that torch in my face, mate. I've just lost a pint of blood. On now as we look at a fantastic year for direct vent stoves I'm going to be sick again. huuuuwwwaaaah. huuuuwaaaah. huuuuuwah You know that feeling when there's nothing coming up. huuuuuwah Urrgh. Jesus. huuuuuwah Urrgh. August knocked the trend for downturn in fireplace sales huwweargh...Oh God. Oh, I sound like the devil. Bits come out my shoe. That's not going back in again. You want some more glitter? Two grand, that cost. I was gonna give out some...some awards. But, er, that's not going to happen. Look at me. Go and eat some coffee erm, drink it. It's soup you can eat that's not so liquid.
Catch the train to London, stopping at Rejection, Disappointment, Backstabbing Central and Shattered Dreams Parkway
...we've got to get out of here
I meant rigid stays!
when i can.
But I can't stop reading it.
They are trained and they are VERY right-wing.
and if I was dressed on the other side it would be in conTACT-YOUR-LITTLE-FINGER-JUST-TOUCHED-IIIIIIT.
Dave - Ooo, haha, get me one chum!
Alan - ...
hahaha hahahahahaha hahahahaha haha aha ha... ha..... NEWS.
where you'll find a Julie's Pantry.
Cos you'll be picking up your teeth with a broken arm.
is not a sportsmanlike way to run this race.
an Alien Judge...
ya daft racist.
he's crackers man
good, that makes two of us.
Well listen, I’ll tell you what the point is. You have big sheds, but nobody’s allowed in! And inside these big sheds are twenty-foot high CHICKENS.
no, thats just pies.
But with excellent facilities...as had the Nazis.
It's very futuristic, isn't it? Very, sort of, high-tech, space age. I can imagine Buck Rogers taking a dump on that. In the twenty-first century. Can I have a go?
We were there during the 9/11 Anniversary and went to Ground Zero for the service of remembrance. We stood in silence amongst the many New Yorkers. Eamonn was eating a cheeseburger, but he was doing so ever so quietly. For him. I have to say I've never seen a man eat a burger with so much reverence for the occasion.'