Boards
Here's a scenario for you
You have one hour to acquire a prostitute.
*YOU DO NOT HAVE THE HELP OF THE INTERNET*
You need to travel to a red light district and pick one up. What if you don't have a car? Will you be able to find one you can bone under a bridge or something instead? Would you know where to go? Would you pay whatever they told you or would you haggle?
Basically I'm just curious if you'd know where and how to find one? I always wonder about this when I'm watching films...
Check the Argos catalogue
it's 10pm
Argos is closed...
Check the business section of the Yellow Pages then
Also, do you know where _Vikram lives?
surely you can just hang around his front door waiting for a couple to crop up, if you like them young that is.
Phonebox
Cards
Call
Shame
Clinic
We don't really have those phonebox cards in Manchester
well, I'm sure there are some but I remember the first time I ever saw them (on holiday or in London, can't remember) and was amazed.
PS. I was on a tour about Engels today.
wat
I just always think when I see someone TV go and pick up a prostitute
'oh, I'd have NO idea where to go' well, I do know of one area they hang out but I've never actually seen any. Stealthy hookers.
It's a game, play along, yeah?)
Ive never seen a prostitute either
and Ive never thought about it before. Clever AND thought provoking, Scout.
I've seen them in other cities
but local ones are a total mystery to me.
Leave Tunde out of this.
i'd just walk toward whitechapel tbh
would you be able to do it in an hour from leaving your house though?!
This is my caveat that makes the challenge a little harder for Londoners.
Is that still where they hangout, or are you just making a ripper joke. RIPPER JOKE MATE, BONZA!
yep, i live about 10/20 mins walk away
my statement is based solely on the fact that once last month i got propositioned by a lady of the night whilst walking through whitechapel.
appear
I accidentally found a snatch of prostitutes in Glasgow once
I was going to a gig and considered that my normal route from the bus stop to the venue was stupid, because Glasgow city centre's one big grid and I'd be walking three sides of a square. So instead I thought I'd head out in a straight line, and when I reached the Clyde turn left.
I hadn't been down those streets before. First saw one prostitute on a corner, then a small group. Then one more street over and the place was hoaching with them. I didn't know where to look.
I don't think the small Hertfordshire town I currently live in even has a red light district.
a snatch of prostitutes
If that's the wrong collective noun for a group of prostitutes, then I don't want to be right
a flap of whores
:D I've genuinely got 4 different contacts
I've never / would never use a prostitute...but I know two people who have. I think it's baaaaad news.
in this scenario you have no morals
would your contacts be able to get you to the point of peno within the allocated one hour timeframe you have been given?
I've never actually tried them...
...but I assume so.
Also, there's a set of high rises in Eastney that are renowned for being an 'advent calendar' of prostitution
From Essex, it would take me a while to get there...but if I was back in Portsmouth, it would be a 40 minute walk.
*disallowed*
You can not have call girls. Must be ladies on the street.
Isn't it the same thing?
If not, there's a couple of women with scabby cheeks, dishwater complexions and surrendering thighs that loiter around Prittlewell station. They're usually there until 8am.
Temperance Street
Five minutes
I would like to also state that this does not extend to going to a brothel
it must be a street prostitute.
I haven't been living in south London long enough to find where they hang out yet.
There must be a few around Vauxhall, it's got that vibe to it. I don't think I've seen any yet in Stockwell.
My mams neighbour is a prostitute. I know where a few brothels are and I could get the number of a few from the corner shop near where my friend used to live, since the owner seems to always be up for advertising them.
But I don't think there's a specific 'red light district' in Newcastle COS AAL THE LASSES DO IT FOR FREE AMIRIGHT. No.
icwar - read the rules, brothels are not allowed
GO AND DO SOME CURB CRAWLING!
Can I just go down the Bigg Market and offer someone some chips?
in exchange for sex, yes you can
they must be prostitutes you accept chips as payment
*who
No, I do too.
:D
Lol.
I have no idea where i'd go sorry
i'm not very experienced with these things sorry.
TRY! PLAY THE GAME!
One hour...go!
Think i'd just hang around primark and stare at my shoes
maybe kick some rubbish about.
it was brought about by that episode of X Files where there's a guy who feeds on fat
and he was browsing for a lady of the night.
jesus christ
Forest Road
this information means nothing to me
CAN YOU GET THERE AND STRIKE UP A DEAL WITHIN AN HOUR?
Pretty much.
It's about 15 mins walk from me. It's pretty notorious though, I avoid driving down it at night as it's a bit depressing.
^this
possibly with a "your mum works on Forest Road" thrown in
real easy
go on craigslist search for "$" and there you are.
YOU CAN NOT USE THE INTERNET
oh sorry
umm
can i phone a friend and get them to use the internet on my behalf?
no
internet can play no part, you can have a map and some cash. Condoms will be provided by the lady of the night.
in which case
i would be inclined to take the cash and offer it to a non-prostitute for sex.
advantages: she'll probably be drug and disease free. cleaner. the sex might be better? very unsure on that one.
i'd give her a pepper spray for confidence that nothing bad will happen. i suspect some would say no, but i also suspect that a surprising number of every day normal women would secretly accept a one time (generous) offer of cash for sex.
it's win-win. i'm not exploiting any kind of morally bankrupt trade, and it's safer.
I don't think this is allowed
but I will review on a case by case basis. For now, you are still in the game.
on the game
apparently there are some that stand on a road 5 minutes walk from where i live now
i think i might of spotted one once or twice but i cant be sure.
back home i definitely seen a few. Big horrible ones. Im surprised they got any business.
BROTHELS ARE NOT ALLOWED
(I live near tons of brothels, I can never quite believe how many exist!(
Have you tried the Post Office?
I KNOW WHERE THE BROTHELS ARE BUT BROTHELS ARE NOT ALLOWED
JFC
because even my mum would know where to find a brothel
this game is about whether you could acquire a street prostitute within an hour of leaving your house
within an hour of leaving your house?
Would you be there and have picked one up in that time.
I know that's where they are but I've never spotted one
Is that a euphemism?
you aren't looking hard enough clearly
also I relayed this information to you halfway up this thread, and I'm pretty much the only person you didn't deign to reply to, you contrary little missy. Now get in the car.
Temperance Street could be anywhere in the world
Again, I know that's where they hang out but I've never seen one, wouldn't know what hours they were there, not sure I'd be able to get from my house to there AND strike up a deal within the allocated deadline of one hour.
you go on tours of Manchester every damn day and you've never been to Temperance Street?!
what kind of jonny-come-lately are you if you've never been to that bustling hub of cargo crate related commerce?
If you live near a train station you could probably get to Ardwick Station in an hour if you're lucky, it's right there.
I've been there, I JUST HAVEN'T SEEN A PROSTITUTE
and I didn't know which temperance street you were talking about, I'm sure there's one in every city.
I was going to say
That is the only place I know there are prostitutes cos I always used to get asked about them on the way back from gigs there by auld drunk blokes going the opposite way.
I think there might be some in Amsterdam too.
Near the roundabout about 15 minutes walk from where I live.
Walked past them a few times on the way back from a mate's house.
Someone I used to live with used to point out where all the prostitutes apparently hang out
but I don't think I've ever seen one there. Still, it'd be worth a go.
in this scenario, how much money do you have?
assuming infinite, you could make a prostitute out of the first person you saw. think it through scout, think it through
no, no you couldn't
I'm asking about finding a proper prostitute, you know this, stop angering the gamesmaster.
You have the money you have in reality, right now. Nothing has changed in the world, this is a real time question, right now when you are answering this question could you locate and acquire a street prostitute within one hour with your current assets. Remember to consider transport to your destination in relation to the time of day, perhaps you have a car, perhaps not...
if they'd accept the offer of £2.50 then yes
but I'll need verification of this, I think perhaps not.
TWO FIFTY POUND NOTES, SCOUT
I can read.
:D
I did wonder about the authenticity of a two pound fifty note. Now I understand.
Catrace, you win being the best at answering a question. Congrats.
^^^ This........this is the person I want running our country.
Just get a bus to Leith
that is the only place iver ever seen prostitutes.
one of the rules of this game is that you must be able to do it in an hour
could you?
i'll get a taxi then.
Prob get there in 20mins.
all of the saunas in edinbro are basically brothels as well
there was a lot of hookers near where i lived in abrcelona for a bit
This thread is really
bizarre?
No....lovely.
The word you're looking for is lovely :)
it would be better on the day shift
people would adhere to the rules and give me more anecdotes surrounding the scenario. I will remember this for the future.
Scout this is a weird question
But as I drive and live just north of King's Cross, I can pick you up one in about 20?
I'm ok for hookers thanks
but you have successfully answered the questions, well done. You also win.
The Flying Scotsman, King's Cross
The sex industry may be a 30 billion a year business, but this demoralising dive shows how the chink of coins fuels the bottom of the barrel realities. As one girl writhes on the tiny, raised stage, the next turn is circulating with the collecting pint pot. It's simple. The more that goes in, the more that comes off - and the more gynaecological the presentation. And that's the routine all day long. The range of drinks? God knows, or cares. But clearly methods are in place to transfer substantial quantities of alcohol into the bloodstream of transfixed punters - be they nervy looking little clerks, local pimps or lost souls from Hades. The floor, we are told, was one of the last in London to be sawdusted. The Gents', it is said, was the inspiration for the surreal nightmare of the worst toilet in the world from the book and film of "Trainspotting". We didn't check. If you're into watching someone's daughter, someone's sister bump and grind for handfuls of cash to feed either her child or her habit, then you must live with that. But be ashamed. Be very ashamed.
you do realise this is just a hypothetical question?
But be ashamed. Be very ashamed.
Noted
the african prostitutes i that worked nr where i lived in spain would just come up to me and say
u want sex boss
i was all like oh im sorry im just trying to get home from work terribly long day u kno...
There is a massage parlour about 5 minutes from where I live
Whenever I go out and I'm dressed up to perform with my band/go out on the piss, I always feel like people think Im on my way to the whore house.
Found out the other day that al three of my male Irish flatmates have been in there...
So I actually win I think?
there's a couple of brothels about five mins from me too
however, brothels are not allowed.
You must go to a red light district...street prossies only, sorry
oh, if we're allowing massage parlours I think I could do 3 mins
I also think I still have the number of a friend who worked as a call girl for a bit, so I could order one up in as much time as a text takes?
we are NOT allowing brothels
good god, what is wrong with you all? YOU MUST GO TO A RED LIGHT DISTRICT. Anyone can do a brothel within that time frame without the internet
where did my reply go?
Anyway, no, brothels don't count as that's too easy. It has to be red light district out on the streets...
what can we do to get chicks
i'd just go downtown, would take me like 20-30 minutes to get to the relevant areas of town from here
and once there, i can't imagine it would take many minutes to, as you say, acquire a prostitute.
winning
I'd struggle I think
I'd have to get the tube somewhere, not sure where I'd go to find one, how much she'd cost and where I'd go once I'd acquired her, will she need her Oyster topped up etc?
it's not an easy game, I'd be cutting it very fine with my time limit and current funds
I think she'd have somewhere near where you found her to bone though, I doubt you need concern yourself with her oyster (wahey!)
Although, you might have stumbled across the high end range of lady and she might require a hotel. So many obstacles!
ok, so 20 mins to caledonian road
and done, I think.
Bamos doesn't live there any more, sorry
was wondering which one you'd go for...
I thought about it for a few minutes
chose the one who's least able to defend himself online now he's AWOL
easy,
nip to The Star and Garter, probably one of the easiest missions ever. Maybe I misunderstood the question.
I reckon I could do it.
I'm aware of the area they trade out of. I would just wander down there and wait for one to ask me if I was looking for buisness or whatever. Then say yes. Then sheath up. Then do her. Then pay. Then go home.
Take off your condom after you tramp
Take it off when I get home.
Give it a rinse. Pop it back in my wallet.
you're weird
I'm not made out of money guy.
Something about popping round to see cat_______races mum
and hanging out the back/smashing the back doors in/having a cuppa/letting mr cat______race watch but not touch/leaving the money under the star of david/wiping nob on curtains/having enough change for a cab home in time for two pints of lager and a packet of crisps.
easy.
what's all this talk of striking a deal? as if that's gonna take up any time at all. you say what your after. then she says how much. then you say ok, where? and she says where. what else would you need to discuss?
used to live basically right in the middle of where they hung out, west of central station onthe way up to blythswood square.
saw one on crutches one night. :-(
the rear entrance (arf!) to our block was on a street with a couple of little shady nooks in it, and one night after being out there was blates someone getting a handjob. let out a snidey haha! once the gate had shut behind us. could see the scene playing out from our flat so i grabbed my pot noodle horn* (arf! arf!)
*http://i.imgur.com/D08OM.jpg
so that's glasgow. birmingham would be around the top end of hagley road, up at the harborne bearwood part. manchester used to be around the arches round the back of picadilly (and apparently still is, according to this thread).
strange thread.
didn't really finish off the pot noodle horn bit.
basically gave 'em a couple of loud parps from our window. they didn't know quite what it was or where it was coming from so it put 'em even more on guard and on the lookout than they already were and was clearly unsettling enough to dampen the guy's enthusiasm once he knew he'd been rumbled.
some old hag offered to give me 'a nosh for a fiver'
when i was about 16. Tempted as i was I ignored the burgeoning tumescence in my loins and decided to run away instead. Then i saw her a week later behind the counter of my fave record shop and felt a bit scared.
I used to live on Stockport Road in Levenshulme, next to the border with
Longsight.
There was a brothel over the road from my flat, BUT....
There were two heroin addicts that would loiter near to the brothel, picking up bits of business.
One of them offered me business while I was going into my flat.
I tried to be nice about it and explained that the reason she may have seen me hanging around was because I lived upstairs and parked my car down the side street where she took her fellas. I added that I'd really appreciate it if she didn't approach me again because it would no doubt piss off my girlfriend.
I think she took offence at me telling her how to run her business. So she and her friend made a point of approaching me and really loudly offering me my usual, etc etc every time they saw me. They even chased me to my car once.
To be fair, if I was that down on my luck and some nob started lecturing me about who I can and can't talk to, I'd fuck with them too.
So I'd go back to Levenshulme. Hypothetically, obviously.
Never seen a street walker in Brighton
There's a house just off the seafront with the name 'Glamour Manor' emblazoned on it, which I'm pretty sure must be a brothel, if that counts?
Or failing that, there are loads of call girls advertised in the back of the Friday-Ad.
Apparently there used to be streetwalkers on Gillot Road near me
in Brum, but that's been stopped now aparently Also, i once saw some near a garage in WestBrom. If i was in Blackburn i could go to Clayton Street, or by my friend in Griffin. That place is crawling with dirty prossies in tracksuits. They always want cigarettes.
you've lost it.
It's all the rules, right?
If I was at home.
Probably 10 minutes round trip, but I'd not really be that happy about having a prossie in my flat to be perfectly honest.
If I was at work.
10 minutes to one of the 'massage parlors'. If that was a bust/a myth, I'd head to one of the public toilets and see if there were any rent boys kicking about.
Having seen the 'quality' of the Leith streetwalkers on a couple of occasions, I'd rather spend the fiver on a jazz mag and do myself.