Massive Office Pwnage / Foolish Sacking Offence? / Social // Drowned In Sound

Massive office pwnage / Foolish sacking offence?

inside-outside [Edit] [Delete] 41 replies 15:07, 12 October '11

Help me decide which of the 2 this was....
.
I was just in the bogs washing my hands and saw this guy come out of a cubicle, clearly post-dump and not bother washing up. Cardinal sin, obviously. So i followed him out a few seconds later and saw him shaking hands with a couple of visitors from another office. I strolled past them, leaned in and said "Ooh I wouldn't do that, guy's just had a crap without washing his hands", and then casually walked off around the corner and ghosted off unseen.
.
Now it's a big office, probably several hundered people, so chances of getting nabbed for it are slim. But there is the off chance that he might have been the CEO or something. Pwned to oblivion anyways tho!

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a little from column A ... a little from column B

zxcvbnm- | 12 Oct '11, 15:09 | X
You should be sacked for stalking him

and being weird.

meowington | 12 Oct '11, 15:09 | X

thewarn, brusma, nice_squirrel, and PickledOeuf this'd this
Urgh

charliepanayi | 12 Oct '11, 15:09 | X
It's okay, he was probably just masturbating.

boydungud | 12 Oct '11, 15:11 | X
- and/or crying
  
  meowington @boydungud | 12 Oct '11, 15:12 | X
Please tell me that at the very least he dried his arse with a dyson airblade?

thewarn | 12 Oct '11, 15:11 | X
- the logistics of this
  
  ideserve2 @thewarn | 12 Oct '11, 15:12 | X
  
  colon_closed_bracket this'd this
  - there's no way you could do this
    
    unless you were brett anderson or maybe mick jagger
    
    colon_closed_bracket @ideserve2 | 12 Oct '11, 15:19 | X
    - I consider myself a bisexual man who's never dried his arse with a dyson airblade
      
      thewarn @colon_closed_bracket | 12 Oct '11, 15:21 | X
      - i'm not ^thising this. it's a trap.
        
        colon_closed_bracket @thewarn | 12 Oct '11, 15:23 | X
    - ooh I love puzzles....I would use my hand to dry my arse
      
      then pass my hand through the airblade. Repeat until dry?
      
      I mean its the ONLY possible way? Right?
      
      Probably fails some Mehedor hygeine test though.
      
      zxcvbnm- @colon_closed_bracket | 12 Oct '11, 15:25 | X
      - you need to take the toilet rolls out of the holders
        
        remove all the paper and stick them together to make a tube, and then direct the hot wind through the tubes and onto your botty
        
        inside-outside @zxcvbnm- | 12 Oct '11, 15:50 | X
- has anyone informed mehodor of this method?
  
  robluvsnic @thewarn | 12 Oct '11, 15:13 | X
you're very unlikely to get sacked for that

unless the visitors were the japanese investors or something. nobody's going to report you for pointing out their failure to wash their hands post-dump.

of course he could have just been doing cocaine to gain a bit of confidence before an important meeting.

colon_closed_bracket | 12 Oct '11, 15:12 | X
I don't think anything will happen

As you're making this up

LordLuciusBanter | 12 Oct '11, 15:14 | X

brusma, Icarus-Smicarus, Darcy, justanothersheeldz, joeymahone, xheathenx, andyvine, TheSoundofBastards, sadpunk, and Cementimental this'd this
You sound like a prick.

Yes,it is minging, never know the chance he might've just forgot or something, no need for you to make a cunt out of him.

weneedmorebooze | 12 Oct '11, 15:16 | X

brusma this'd this
- He was obviously just doing this:
  
  After going for a shit, the French like to fold a napkin in quarters (or thereabouts) and rip off the corners so as to create a hole in the middle of the napkin when it is unfolded.
  
  They then stick their finger through the hole and use that to clean their arse. The torn off corners are used to clean under the finger nails. Hey presto, clean as a whistle.
  
  He definitely did that.
  
  Vernon_Kernel @weneedmorebooze | 12 Oct '11, 15:26 | X
  - Why not just wrap the napkin around the finger before stuffing it up
    
    the bung rather than leave the finger shit exposed and poking through a perfectly good piece of wiping material, I cannot see the logic in this at all... and that thing about cleaning the shit from underneath the fingernails afterwards, really, is that why in most films in the 50's and 60's with french folk in them they're always cleaning their fucking fingernails. DIRTY CUNTS!
    
    Anyway, I cry shenanigans.
    
    SHENANIGANS!
    
    xheathenx @Vernon_Kernel | 12 Oct '11, 16:43 | X
This didn't happen.

What did happen: You walked past and said nothing, maybe mentioned it to the person who sits next to you, and then posted your wish-fulfillment up on DiS.

marckee | 12 Oct '11, 15:19 | X

brusma, xylopwn, DaisyFlower, and xheathenx this'd this
- ^story of my life
  
  robluvsnic @marckee | 12 Oct '11, 15:21 | X
you sound like a bit of a wrong 'un, me lad.

Verbal | 12 Oct '11, 15:20 | X

brusma this'd this
Great thread.

Steve13105895 | 12 Oct '11, 15:20 | X

thewarn this'd this
making up? or just amazing

don't underestimate my tenacity at being a prick at work

inside-outside @cat_________race | 12 Oct '11, 15:52 | X
- the gap is big enough to fit an entire word in
  
  like one of those puzzles where you put a word in the middle and it makes two other words.
  
  colon_closed_bracket @cat_________race | 12 Oct '11, 16:02 | X
  - Shit?
    
    sadpunk @cat_________race | 12 Oct '11, 17:41 | X
  - Catterpiller Embrace
    
    unfamiliar @colon_closed_bracket | 12 Oct '11, 16:05 | X
    - Have you thought of changing your username
      
      in a bid to outthink the dis mods.
      
      Then we can all do that 'YOUR CG' thing for a couple of days.
      
      xheathenx @cat_________race | 12 Oct '11, 16:47 | X
    - poo poo poop
      
      shucks | 12 Oct '11, 15:34 | X
      
      mac_daddy, thewarn, colon_closed_bracket, and meowington this'd this
    - Hang on a second,
      
      isn't yours the poo blog as well?
      
      Do you ever talk about anything else?
      
      boydungud | 12 Oct '11, 15:59 | X
      - Yes I am a purveyor of the faecal arts
        
        But this was just happenstance, i dont hang around in the bogs too often
        
        inside-outside @boydungud | 12 Oct '11, 17:29 | X
    - There's nothing here to brag about mate
      
      This is just a puff of nothingness
      
      menindrag | 12 Oct '11, 16:50 | X
    - but many people go into cubicles to do other things
      
      ...clear their heads....practice what they are going to say....cry....bite their tongue....just generally compose themselves.
      
      What if he was composing himself and getting ready to meet these visitors? I think that this wasn't wise
      
      creakyknees | 12 Oct '11, 17:12 | X
      - in fact it is rather mean
        
        Imagine how incredibly difficult you might have made that meeting for both parties.....I mean the visitors have already shaken his hand...they will also be embarrised, not just that guy
        
        creakyknees @creakyknees | 12 Oct '11, 17:14 | X
        
        PickledOeuf and ZooKeepersBoy this'd this
        
        what probably happened
        
        was they all felt embarrassed about what an obvious cock inside-outside had been and he apologised for his colleagues behaviour and then reported him to his senior.
        
        werk @creakyknees | 12 Oct '11, 18:35 | X
      - it was the straining noises followed by plop, plop and a "fuck me
        
        I needed that" that gave him away.
        
        Ricky_Ronco @creakyknees | 12 Oct '11, 17:27 | X
    - I'm more bothered about whether he'll wipe himself after his shower tonight.
      
      wrightylew | 12 Oct '11, 17:32 | X
    - thread of the day......no question
      
      freddiehubbard | 12 Oct '11, 17:41 | X

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