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Sent from my iPhone.
Okay. As you were.
We both cried tears of joy. In the pub, obvs.
Or your dream was set in the pub?
I have never fallen asleep in a pub. How about that.
too many things to do and i've just remembered i have to phone the DVLA which is going to be very, very annoying.
today can fuck off.
Any one of my amazing playlists
the pineapple juice isnt going to call the DVLA tho.
And stop moaning
i'm actually going to have to phone HMRC as well. can you beleive the registering as self employed 5 years ago could cause so many problems down the line? i hate those guys. and this has reminded me that they will soon be asking me to complete a self assesment form in January as i havent paid my tax....no wait, i'm on PAYE. whats that? oh i just fill out the form and put £0 in every box for the 3rd year in a row? an absolute glacier of bell ends.
I've been paying emergency tax...but I phoned last week and their PAYE system has been down for a while and probably won't be up this week. DICKS. I want my money back.
tried to sign in today, 'sorry, we dont recognise your address', ok i'll sign in as a new user, 'sorry, that address is already registered!'. FUCK. OFF.
fuck you the DVLA
fuck you the passport office
fuck you HMRC
fuck you the man
I got a tax rebate of £150 from HMRC last week. Only took them 8 months and 3 letters from me saying "no I have a new job" every time they sent me a letter saying "we see you have no job". Eventually they sent me a letter saying "so, we've found out off our own backs that you have a job" but at least I got my money. Maybe this'll happen for you, I dunno. Chin up meths, ^5 for glacier of bell ends yeah?
I'd apparently been overpaying for some time and didn't realise it.
I LOVES ME TEH TAX MAN>!
for the moment.
Tinker Tailor actually lived up to the hype, super film. Enjoyed it lots. Had a nice dinner after too.
Seeing Dave Dondero play tonight, he's great, its going to be great. I hope that I'm not the only person there.
is broken :(
I always think I'm going to break my fingers. I don't know why.
Get well soon, finger.
got the shittest strapping ever, too. just a piece a cotton and two bits of tape, looks a proper DIY job!
wouldn't be too annoyed if i didn't have to spend all of thurs, fri and sat shaking hands with people :/
i'll llook like a right rodney though.
0 - Use your other hand!
I got a hot chocolate from the machine and I've just realised I don't actually want it.
eyemail will be fine.
In the morning?
I thought it would fill me a up a bit.
But yes, vom indeed.
i think I might bake more of these and breakfast on them every day. I feel very...sparky.
You in for a bit?
Hang on, what happened to the bottle of Limocello I had?
I haven't taken it out anywhere have I? No, I'm sure I haven't. Hmmm.
even late-afternoon, I think we're due for a name change.
Any volunteers for the working party to come up with something snappy?
I should go into advertising.
Had a look for stuff last night, loads of copywriting jobs, no journalism ones. I could copywrite. Maybe. I don't really know what it is. And I have no experience in it. But still.
You've already got the writing for the media skills and the network of contacts, and that's what they want. Of course it means abandoning all the ideals etc. that you took into journalism in the first place.
The real trick is to try to encourage someone to poach you, then cite those ideals and principles as the reason why you could never do PR. Try to hold out long enough to get them to their best offer on salary, and kiss those worthless principles goodbye!
A CAREER IN COMEDIC WRITING AWAITS!
having to leave the office or google people's names bit?
I had a premonition you were going to post in the morning thread today.
Admit it: you love them.
Today can be Day #0.
Tomorrow: Day #1.
I could go on, but I trust we've all grasped the gist of the format based on that pair of examples.
you seem to have got the hang of it.
Day is improving.
I think I've met 11.
It's a little game I play.
keep reading that as 'bum'.
When going to the interview, I went to Fabric (the club) instead. Which was actually an opticians.
Anyone got experience of getting a copy of a death certificate?
You can do it online, here- http://www.gro.gov.uk/gro/content/certificates/
It's quite expensive I think.
Hope this helps x
There is a fee of £9.25 for standard service and £23.40 for priority service.
I feel a bit like a Bright Young Thing, besides having a proper job of course.
I am coming under pressure to join a club. I don't want to join a club.
If money was no object in my life I probably would, but otherwise I see little point in spending £1,000+ a year on something most people get sod all use out of.
The Lansdowne. It is very modern, only founded in 1935, but was open to both genders from the off which is nice. I will report back PO and let you know if you should consider it if you break.
I would prob need city rather than west end to justify it as a business expense, although that of course rules out most of the interesting ones.
the secret idea.
He lives in Switzerland though and only comes ot london for teh working week and is a bit lonely in his London flat, so I can see the appeal to him. I mostly can't wait to get out of the city now as soon as muy day ios done. Hmm, you're probably right. I will ignore the club-pushers.
i just presumed he was off out for a small midweek rave up**.
*which I presumed died out in the 90s (along with keith allen), as a thing that people actually do.
**which sounds infinitely more fun.
It's a shame Bamnan works these days.
(are you going somewhere? I will mail you).
Just go there and chat? Why don't you just go to a pub?
it has a gym, swimming pool and other stuff though, also it wouldn't get really busy or anything,. I defo see the appeal, although I haven't tried to join one.
I didn't like it.
And for people who went to public school to have a place where they'll still feel like they're at public school.
If there were a venn diagram with two circles labelled as 'things I am qualified to do' and 'things I think I would enjoy doing', the two circles would be on opposite sides of the paper staring at each other angrily. Hopeless.
Also, my colleague, who works on the same stuff as me has just booked about 20 days of holiday before Christmas because he has exams coming up. With our chief reporter leaving this puts an enormous burden on me (not least because I have at least a dozen days to take off too). I mentioned this to my editor. He just sort of grimaced and said, 'yeah, tough spot. Yikes!' with faux concern. I'm fantasising about leaving and setting fire to the place as I go.
Aside from that, great.
OH HELLO MY ETERNAL MISERY.
What will our collective talents allow us to do?
if yes, how good does the other one look in a spangly minidress?
If it's less than 3 months, there's a hige incentive to jump ship into ANYTHING (even if it's not the perfect job) just so tjhat you can avoid Xmas form hell and into the bargain have the satisfaction of handing them their arse on a plate as you go..
Never EVER underestimate malice as a powerful career driver when it comes to moving on elsewhere.
We literally drew names out of a hat. Feel bad for the guy who was about to buy tickets to Spain so he and his wife can visit her family, but you've got to be ruthless about these things.
I can do something a little more challenmging for nearly double the cash. BUt I know I'l;l sdtill be miserable. I've just downloaded the prosectus for a BA in musical theatre and am GASPING at every page of it. This is very silly.
I wish I had a passion I could have mad job fantasies about.
there is a middle bit to that venn diagram. It's labelled "things that require a 2-3 year unpaid internship and then pay very little afterwards, thus making them suitable only for upper-middle class blondes called Emma who are waiting to marry an officer of some type."
Had to choose between shower and breakfast. Made my own veggie burgers with lots of chili (breakfast) and will just have to reek of perfume today.
so I had to cancel all my plans and lie around in bed. Today is a little of the same but I'm still going to make it to a little tour later on (to see if the guide still wants me to write for his newspaper!) and to pick up a duvet from a friend. Exciting stuff.
Might have dinner with a guy I know later but probably won't as I think he thinks it's sexy dinner and it isn't.
or flirt shamelessly throughout the meal, then have a friend emergency phone call you at about half ten so you can leave. You may wind up getting another meal out of it.
and accidentally flipping the table over in a panic, I'll be disappointed.
someone who keeps asking me and I'm never sure what exactly he means
due to an exercise thing I did last night that some dipshit on here thought was really hilarious.
Um, so I have a burlesque thing tonight that a friend is running. Except, it turns out that it might be a bit more than a burlesque thing actually? In a that-one-sex-people-episode-of-Alan-Partridge way? And I've already invited my housemate?
AWKWARD TIMES AHEAD.
And burlesque lessons too, dude, you are going to be the belle of the ball in no time!
I want to do burlesque when I go back to London.
And other things- I've recently become annoyed that I don't dance anymore. I will fix this.
(PS Spinning AND burlesque? I...ermm...)
The first few I saw were really just stripping with extra polka dots, but I've run into a few nights that have been way more about daftness/enthusiastic amateur performance lately. I really can't get down with the whole twee-Victorian-stupid-tiny-hat-on-sideways aesthetic though.
We need to think of a Burlesque name for you, then. A friend in Bristol is currently performing as Tess LaCoyle. Nerd.
Double slow clap for you, for making exactly the same goddamn joke...
I haven't fallen over for some time.
McPins stays, though.
Went to two or three of the early Club Noir nights, not been for a good while though, and it has become quite the thing since then, so I dunno whether it has retained it's charm.
The lady keeps sending me emails to do her course but I don't really want to as its like £200....but you do get to put on a show at the end. I dunno. It was good though.
I could only do the booby shimmy because my breats wobbled all by themselves when I started. I was rubbish at everything else.
I'm off to spin in an hour. It does get better. At least be glad you don't have a vagina.
that I'm not glad I don't have a vagina.
that I'm glad that I do have a vagina.
thank God you don;t get periods.
I'd be magnificent on a period. Faces would literally be torn off.
Also I think that has more to do with the uterus and stuff, eh Carl Djerassi?
which make up the female reproductive system.
Doesn't change the fact you're a whining little bitch though :-)
Ypu grew balls overnight?
Feisty one aren't you!
You know I love you really xXxX
I love you both equally in different ways.
i have nothing to add.
i want to play squash because i've never played before, but the only place near me only lets members and it costs 40 quid to join and then 37 quid every month to be a member of their stupid leisure centre, which is fucking retarded. i just want a game of bloody squash.
something about the olympics not making it easier for fat kids to do dome sport because it costs too much.
do they even have squash at the olympfuck you...
I was in southend on saturday. EXCITING!
We got the wee train along the pier. Adventure isdland, fish and chips, a wander around and then a very long jourmey home involving sveral trains and a bus to basildon :''( Bloody trains!
if you had facebook you'd know all of this, JUST SAYIN.
I'm more fun than an empty room.
i need a new tennis partner because mine has just fucked off to Leicester
where would we play? *cough* come to southend don't make me go london for tennis, *cough*
get your badminton on.
Badminton is brilliant. I really want to start that up again.
sam prefer sports with ibbott and a ball, but it's all about the racket and cock
But I don't know when...
Let's discuss. Are you coming to Step's Birthday shindiggery?
I'll text you. Just keep it free, yeah?
Hi grumpy x
Sent from my HTC phone
two teenage girls shouted 'nice legs, nice bum' at me in the park last night, then an old lady said i was 'very fit'
highlight of my week so far
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Today I said please don't call me again, he was like 'oh should we email' so I went on to explain how I don't want them to contact me again and he was persisting. I ended the call by saying 'please don't call me again, bye' and I hung up.
They just text me :D 'its very rude to hang up on someone who is just wants to help, and yes we have been call you but you have not answered'
Also asking them specifically to remove your name from their register as per whichever bit of legislation was passed a couple of years ago.
Or alternately, just answer the phone when they ring, say nothing and let the company waste money on talking to no one.
'I see from this text you haven't removed my contact details as I requested, I'll be in touch with the ombudsman. SEE YA SUCKER.'
Without the sucker bit.
You're well rude.
i've been busy. can someone summarise this thread for me?
Fidel is persuing becoming a woman
Meths is in a bad mood
HYG and I are going to be famous jugglers, once I've learnt
PO and I are starting a club
Other really important stuff
I'm eating a bag of galaxy minstrels
like when you're tired and someone says, 'wow you look tired'.
the last paragraph in particular:
'As the air clears it's absolutely vital not to say, "That was a big sulk, wasn't it?" This is the quickest possible way of launching the world's largest, longest and deepest sulk.'
IM NOT TIRED. IM JUST UGLY, OKAY?
In your head, it's an offer of sympathy. As soon as the words are out of your mouth you realise you've essentially just said "Dear christ, your face looks like absolute shit right now, doesn't it"?
=( CALLOUS PEOPLE HAVE FEELINGS TOO
but then again, I don't get up til 9.
Just so we can have the headline 'APPLE AND BLACKBERRY CRUMBLE'
Can you make apple and blackberry crumbles? idk
they are excellent.
Peach cobbler is better though.
props for the crumble pun, btw. 8.4/10
How are things with the new lady?
she's down tomorrow til sat so happy with that. Though i wasn't going to see her for about a fortnight on monday!
She's doing placement at stevenage soon so hopefully will get to see her a bit more then.
Sounds like you're doing well, though.
and graduates soon. she's doing job apps atm so hopefully she'll get somewhere in london (her first choice)
she could however end up in the arse end of scotland which is a bit :(
You're a long distance bummer
tie everywhere, while exclaiming the first 'yes!', before calming yourself, slowly sitting back down and readjusting your tie before softly saying 'yes' in this episode.
that is all
can anyone see it yet?! Read the OP again! ahahahaha oh brother, what a 'mare.
I've got work to do. bye.
But my phone wont let me. Anyway, it was only Ryan Giggs. I've decided my idea for an arts project in town is actually good and I just had a lovely chat about buildings with that editor who likes my work. So today is turning out to be awesome, now I'm off for tea with my almost mum
I'm trying to work this out and I've got nothing but ill-advised so far...